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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Should we discourage backbiting?

    There are many people who openly criticise others and backbite about them time and again. They will find some small thing and will start their own arguments and condemn others in one way or other.

    Should we discourage such people by warning them that they should not talk loose and should not tell stories about persons who are not present there or we should keep quiet and just listen to them.

    What is the opinion of the members on this issue?
  • #624570
    We should understand that if a man criticizes a person who is not there in front of us will definitely criticize us also definitely. This is the fact we should understand and should not encourage that type of people. We should not hear them more and say him that talking like this about a person in his absence is not good.Instead of that if you also express one or two points about the third person this man will go there and tell him bad about that but will never tell about what they told. This will create unnecessary problems for the people. So curtailing them at the correct point if time is always a better way of approach rather than entertaining them.
    We all should not go the undesired levels of criticizing the people unnecessarily without any reason. If you want to advise somebody better be open to him than conveying through a third person.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #624578
    This is a very bad habit. We should not only discourage back-stabbing but also expose people who engage in back-stabbing. If we expose those people, they will stop doing it and nobody would give importance to them in future.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #624584
    Few people are addicted to it.Those who backbite don't even feel or think what they are doing is wrong. They just feel that they are correct and other person whom they are criticizing is wrong from all the ways.When they are doing so, we should simply not encourage them and keep mum as advising them will lead to a big cold war in between them and us. I feel this is very diplomatic way to handle such people and be away from such mess.

  • #624595
    Yes there are people who have ample time and energy to back bite other people as they have plenty of leisure time and also have the habit if passing remarks even on small issues. It is better to keep away from them as their comment in front of our well wishers would demean our position and also upset our mood for the day. If the person is our relative then visit him once in a while and wont stay for long hours. If the person is the friend , then keep low profile and mingle once in a while. These people have the capacity to spoil our mood, mood of others by their chaste comments which are not warranted at all. And what is more interesting that they insist us to visit them often as if we are cosy with their strange behaviour they are not liked by their children, then how come they expect others to have touch with them ?.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #624596
    It is a bad trait and such people should not be encouraged.
    I personally dislike this habit and do not like to have my friends resorting to such mean things.
    There are some people who will talk sweetly to you but in your absence speak negatively about you.
    These people do a lot of harm to one's reputation and we should be careful from such persons.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #624628
    Back-biting is a very bad habit. I personally dislike the habit of backbiting. Yes, we defiantly should discourage this bad habit. Some people are of nature that they can live without food, but they can not live without backbiting. I feel that we should maintain distance from such people.
    Even one of friend use to do backbiting and now I don't talk to her like I earlier used to.
    Such people will talk to you sweetly but show their real colours when you are not with them.
    So we should maintain distance from them and discourage such habit.

  • #624636
    Backbiting, I think, can be discouraged only by not encouraging the same. Some people are habitual backbiters and they don't miss an opportunity to speak ill about a person who is not present in the group or gathering. Such people lack character and should be kept at a safe distance. Dr. Rao has put it very straight when he said that one who criticizes others in their absence will surely criticise us when we are not present.

    Though it can be termed as a characteristic of some people, it does extend to a pleasure-seeking exercise especially when the members of a gathering does not object to such malicious remarks. It is, in fact, worse than gossip. We must never encourage backbiting and must be bold enough to tell such people that they should not resort to such practices at least within the group of which you are a member. Even if you are not in a position to discourage them, make sure that you do not encourage them and make it clear that you are not enjoying the drama so that such persons will, at least, be a bit cautious when you are present.

    'He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.'- Elbert Hubbard.

  • #625100
    This thread also slipped my attention. yes, we should certainly discourage it and also not encourage such people.
    Backbiting is common in the current professional world and neighborhoods, we just have to look for it.
    If someone if good, diligent in work, has a favorable image, then there are few people who cannot live with this fact and instead of learning and be improving themselves, they indulge in such practices that have no rules or regulations. As long as there is no one to question them, such people carry on harming the person, his/her integrity and reputation.
    Some stoop down to the level wherein they purposefully spread gossip, highlight our occasional errors and family issues to demean and consider us to move on from that place.
    It should be nipped in the bud or at least Once such backbiting affects the image of the person, his/her career or it starts to become suffocating.


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