You must Sign In to post a response.
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Tit for tat policy is not good.


    Do you think tit for tat policy is good? It is generally not considered to be an acceptable policy. But don't you think you need to take a stand when the person at the other end is adamant and refuses to understand? Please put in your views to discuss this interesting take on the topic.



    In my view, tit for tat policy is not good because you should make a difference between the other person and you. If someone is using abusive language to you and you also use that type of language to him, then what is the difference between both of you? Firstly, you should try to speak politely with that person and don't convert conversation into arguments. But on the other side, if someone is repeating the same thing several times and he is not able to understand, then always take a stand to show him that silence doesn't mean you can't do anything.
  • #626487
    Yes, I agree with the author tit for tat is not good. If someone abusing you, you should not use the same language. In our religion (Dawoodi Bohra) our religious head Syedna Saheb TUS always guide us not to use this tit for tat. He always quoted Maula Ali's quote: "Ahsin ela man asa elayk." Always do ehsaan (gratitude) who do ill with you.
    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #626488
    Yes, Ms. Vyas. Tit for tat policy is not good. I fully agree. We must take the initiative and start in such a manner so that there is no scope for the opponent to retaliate, i.e., we must do the 'tit' so well that there would be no scope for 'tat' by the enemy.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #626493
    Yes, I agree that tit for tat policy is not good and we should never do tit for tat. It only worsens the relationship between people and no scope remains in clearing the differences. We should always ignore people doing something or we should try to tell them in a better way instead of doing the same thing to that person.

  • #626506
    Every peace loving person would not chose the tit for tat way of behaving. But sometimes to show the opposite person who is taking actions against us and we are keeping quiet, we must retaliate. Suppose he gives four or six blows on us, we should able to give at least two strong blows. That cannot be taken as tit for tat move. Because we have to safeguard ourselves and our lives. Likewise even in verbal dual, sometimes when we keep quiet, the other person goes on abusing us unabated and thus to put a full stop to his charging attitude we must open up and show that we too have the fighting spirit. And one more thing if we ignore those who are abusing and taking action against us for no fault of us, we are giving them more chance to get that happiness for them which they are longing to cherish and enjoy.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #626531
    Tit for Tat policy is of course good but it depend on the time and situation and the place too. Personally I can tolerant much but not for some special people. If anyone is backstabbing you or harming you in hidden way, ignoring such people, you only encourage them to do more harm to you. For me ignoring everything is not a good habit. One or other time you need to stand and treat them the way they treated you.

    Life is not all about being saint or becoming saint. If you can't fight for yourselves, there is every chance that people will keep harming you one or other way. Also, there is no harm to do Tit for Tat to such people who has two difference face or two different rules.

    There are many great people in history who did follow this policy in their own time. So, does that mean they were not peace loving person?

  • #626555
    Sometimes tit for tat will be useful but not always. We should always try to explain the other person in a positive way and see that he will understand the stand properly. But some people take this attitude as our inefficiency. For such people tit for tat is always correct. The world is becoming a paradise for the people who want to push the things and blame the others for the failures. For such people, we should behave in tit for tat way only. Otherwise, they will try to make us scapegoats. Especially we found many such people in our professional lives. They try to take the advantages of success and try to blame others for the failures. With such people, if we go and try to explain the things they will never understand the others properly. So for such people what we should do you create a problem which can't be solved by him but can be cleared by you. Just come out and see the fun. This approach is good for such kind of people I think.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #626944
    As children often we grow-up following tit for tat policy. If someone has a new toy, we pester our parents to get the same toy and show it to the other boy. If someone complains to the teacher about us, we also ensure that we raise a counter complaint against him. At home, sibling rivalry is also along similar lines, if a brother does something the other has to do the same to counter the first one.

    I think this concept remains the same, only the issue, the scenario, intent to hurt or harm and the outcome changes. As we grow, we learn that tit for tat is not good. But at times deep within our heart, we wish that we could give back what we get because it's exactly what the instigator deserves.

    I think we should not follow tit for tat in general but be able to and not hesitate to use it in circumstances wherein the person opposite to us is not capable of understanding or is underestimating our mistaking our good nature.

  • #627016
    Self defence is an inherent element in every creature. However revenge ,I feel is the characteristic of only humans.

    I have not known or read about any other creature planning and scheming and taking revenge. Though I have heard people telling that Elephant remembers about those who had hurt it. I tend to believe that as true from the reports of mahouts getting killed by elephant running amok. Stil, I feel that even elephants forgive and forget,because they do not cause that much harm for all they suffer from humans. There were such legends and stories made about snakes(Naga) too.

    Revenge comes from the feeling to level and balance our suffering and hurt. It is an inherent feeling to make the other suffer the pain which were inflicted upon us. However on growing and becoming mature we tend to forget and forgive in many cases. We also give benefit of doubt(ignorance, immaturity, emotion etc) to the person who hurt us

    Tit-for-tat is a sort of leveller of hurt, and can be a deterrent for further cause, though sometimes it leads to a chain of worse events also.
    Hence though I admit that normally we cannot avoid to tit-for-tat, it would be nice if forgiveness can be practised and the person who caused is made to feel regret and avoid such things henceforth.

  • #627043
    This means that you haven't faced a true practical life. If I slap you then would you forgive me. I give you an example that in case you forget about what you got is again getting slapped by me or someone else then the probability would be most likely in the near future the thing will be repeated . Take for example about what is happening in our border with Pakistan or China. When its understanding then matter is resolved or else ready for the action.


  • Sign In to post your comments