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(Special Prize Winner of the TOW contest for the week 25th Feb-3rd Mar'18 on topic - Discover)
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Discovering your family

    Do you really know your family?

    Strange question, isn't it? If you put this question to a friend, you will surely get an instant reaction of astonishment and the reply, "Dumbo! Of course I know who my family members are!" Take a pause, though, and just think. You know who they are, but how well do you really know them? Sure, you live with them. You interact with them. However, do you really know them in the sense of knowing them in-depth? Perhaps you are aware of their general hobbies, what colours they like, which particular food they hate. Otherwise, though?

    One way of discovering something unique about a family member is through somebody else. Often enough, it is some acquaintance who will tell you about a good characteristic of which you had no idea. For example, somebody will say how a sibling stood up for his colleague who was being bullied when you thought that your sibling was somebody really meek and not the gutsy type to speak up.

    There is another way, too, to discovering your family. A better way, in fact. By switching off technology and tuning into bonds. We are so immersed in plugging into all things electronic that we seem to be spending less and less time with our own folk. We have this urge to constantly check our smartphone even at meal times. We have this urge to switch on the television and mindlessly surf channels, with no real desire to watch any specific program. Why not have a designated hour each day to just tune out of technology? Everyone in the family could switch off their computers, smartphones, video games. Put all gadgets on a table, off. Just sit around and talk about your day.

    You will likely find that not only is it good to just unload about the challenges you faced that day, but will discover a whole new aspect of your family. You will discover the sense of humor you never knew your mother had; you will realize that your kid is interested in sports while you always thought he was only into reading books...just converse and find out. Discover your family in the real sense of the term - through really close family bonding. Just spare one hour each day.

    [This is an entry for the TOW topic-based contest]
  • #628088
    A good piece of advice to all. Really we think that we know well our family members but when we hear something about them through somebody else whether it is good or bad we will get astonished thinking that how we missed that particular aspect in the family member.
    My brother who was in ninth class during special Andhra Moment in 1972 participated very actively at that moment. Before that none of our family members thought that he can be so aggressive. Because at that time he was very reserved and study oriented boy. Only when we heard about his active participation through the High School Master, we are able to discover his talent in that particular area.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #628092
    Vandana,
    We can't and need not spare an hour each day to know or discover what is in (inside) our family members. It should be seen and understood. If at all we want to know what is inside them, spend a day sitting on the dining table and interview your own members turn by turn. Everyday should not be Sunday for this activity.

    We can spare an hour or so to discuss our next day's or week's or month's programme, but not to discover or know a member. I agree to your title, but totally disagree with the summary of the thread, One's family is a open book to that family.

    Further, A man first discovers his would be wife and gives a green signal to marry her if fit and vice versa. Parents need not discover anything from their wards, as they have given birth to them. We need not discover anything from our parents as they have discovered us. What is there to discover among the family members !

    No life without Sun

  • #628129
    Yes, I agree to some extent. Our family has become nuclear, but many of us (parents) have developed an insurmountable distance with our children. It is entirely our fault. We have become very busy in ourselves to know our family members.
    Non-violence is the greatest Dharma; So too is all righteous violence.

  • #628131
    The traditional system of family members taking meals together used to be a proper platform to interact and update each other. While taking breakfast in the morning, they used to share their day's schedule and the challenges they were likely to encounter on that day. Similarly, the dinner time used to be apt for briefing and discussing that day's agenda. Festivals were occasions to assemble together even if some family members used to live in different cities due to studies and jobs related compulsions. Such assemblies used to enable the family members to discover each other and keep updated.

    During such assemblies and other wise also, one of the major discoveries about the college going family members used to be about their romantic endeavors. On watching one's blossomed or gloomy face, the siblings used to guess about the ups and downs in the ongoing relationships with the friend of opposite gender in the college.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #628142
    Yes I do agree that there is need for knowing our own family well. The paternal side and the maternal side family members must be aware to us. Normally the children are inclined to the maternal side relatives and they frequent to them occasionally. But the children are kept away from the paternal side relatives and thus children are not aware of any relatives by face and name. That is why during occasions and functions, children should also accompany the parents , so that relatives also comes to know the progress and well being of each child. And if the child happens to be a daughter, the curiosity among relatives rise more as there would be chances for fixing a suitable alliance inside the family itself. From my side I want to have good relations with all irrespective of relatives and friends. But when the response from other side is less, then I also loose interest.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease


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