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  • Category: General

    Discussion on need of Dowry system

    This is to discuss on the topic 'Need of Dowry system'.

    Dowry system is the exchange process of money or valuable gifts from parents of female side to male side on their demands - if this continues how can we say there is a gender equality? If the female is not educated then the demands of the male family will be more. Literally is this system just to make the groom richer? Can any of my friends explain this system briefly?
  • #632216
    The system of giving heavy money to the groom by the bride's father is called the dowry. It will be given at the time of marriage. As per the marriage rituals of Hindu religion, the girl's father will be giving his daughter to the boy. At that time it is a practice to give a small ring to the boy. This is started from this point. Slowly as the number of girls is increasing the demand for money, costly gifts and other items. Before this system came into the practice, in the society there was a system of giving money to the girl's father by the boy was there. Those days many aged people are giving money and marrying very small girls also.
    These days this dowry system is getting reduced. As the ladies are less in number many boys are not able to find a suitable girl. Many girls are refusing to give dowry for their marriage. Hence it is coming down. It is a good change and we should not encourage this dowry system.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #632223
    It's a system that started with giving on self desired basis to forced demand.

    It's a black spot to our society as a whole. The data in context to the deaths of women are increasing who are murdered or driven to suicide by continuous harassment and tortured by husbands and in-laws in an effort to extort an increased dowry. It is sad that that although we got few harsh punishments for such cases but still there hardly seems to be any improvement.

    I would want to the women empowerment, education along with equal rights for both in order to lessen the differences in between. But this in fact remains the difficult part as we are already divided into much smaller segments. It is not at all justified that even after so much time of our independence we are petty politics to do instead of sorting out the relevant issues.

  • #632227
    In my family, we don't believe in dowry system. Moreover, it is illegal also to demand money. Otherwise also the system of dowry is getting gradually reduced with the spread of education among girls and consequently their becoming able to earn instead of remaining independent on the husband and his family.

    A well educated girl with a decent job gets due respect in the society and nobody talks about dowry while proposing to marry such girls.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #632249
    What I feel that in those days when the groom was educated and the bride was uneducated,, there was a compulsion on the part of bride family to "satisfy" the groom side with dowry either cash or kind and thus it was given with the hope and assurance that their girl would be looked after well and she wont feel the wanting of the parent house for any reason in future. But these days even the daughters are very well educated and even having good jobs. In fact daughters want to help the parents financially even after marrying of course with the consent of in laws and husband. Even then the dowry system is in vague otherwise the society would feel that the boy is having some health problem or the other and that is why not accepted the dowry from the bride side. Nevertheless some good thinking and positive thinking people are getting married without even pressing for extravagant marriages.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #632251
    Since Dowry act of 1961 has been passed, the demand for dowry has been reduced. Now it is illegal to take money for the marriage. If the girl complaints, then the boy will find himself in jail. The system has been practiced earlier and we can see that most of the educated people are demanding for more dowry, rather than people who are poor in earning money. Dowry itself is a system, where the girl will find happiness in the family of the boy. After the marriage, they will tend to know the actual face of the family.
    "Earning knowledge is by sharing it with ISC and we will rectify our mistakes."

  • #632258
    It would be difficult to explain this system in a few lines. Dowry system is entwined in our culture so much that although we know it's incorrect or illegal, we still give and take.

    There is a perception that the dowry cases and the incidence is 'apparently' on the decrease, this would be attributable to increased education among women, women being employed more often, awareness of their rights, a proactive stance by the bride and her family etc.

    But to me, dowry system still prevails within closed discussion, it may not be just exchange of cash but includes a series of events that are need for the new family to lead a better life'. Under this guise many demands are made indirectly (a car, contribution to husband's business ventures, part funding of a house or a plot of land, ornaments for the wife which would be mortgaged or sold off etc). This would take many more years to stop completely.

    One important way to thwart this social evil, is to instill the evils of dowry system in the minds of the male child from an young age, so that neither will he ask for dowry for his marriage nor for the marriage of his son too.

  • #632268
    The dowry system was there in our society since years. It happened in two ways. In one case the bridegrooms family demands it. In the other case the bride's family give this as a share of the wealth. This became an issue when the bridegroom side demanded it as a right, and several relations got broken. When the dowry was offered by the bride's family without asking them nobody came with complaints.
    In fact we can see this in another way. Parents might have two or more children. There will be some wealth accrued as their own, may be inherited or generated by them. After their death this will pass on to their children. By that time the daughters would have left after having got married. Hence the share of parents will not go to the female child. May be this started as an advance payment of the share of parent's wealth.
    Now, legally both male and female children are to be treated equally. Hence the share of parents' wealth is to be given to everybody irrespective of married or not. Hence to a certain extent the dowry problem has been reduced. Of course it still is there among certain communities.
    I remember the incidents related to my children's marriage. I have two sons. Both of them are now married and became fathers. At the time of deciding the marriage, from the bride's side enquiries came about dowry. I said strongly, I did not expect anything as dowry. Thereby both the marriages were done without accepting any dowry.

    T.M.Sankaran
    Gold Member ISC

  • #632271
    It is something which exists in the society one way or other popularly known as dahej. The giving of electrical appliances, cash, gifts, jwellery, furniture and other household items to a groom on behalfs of the brides family that is dowry system. Mahatma gandhi ji said that a young man, who makes dowry a condition to marriage discredit his education and his country. Dowry system acts start in 1961 and it still continues by many castes in India. A change in the society is needed to get rid of dowry system.

  • #633831
    Dowry System has been following since long back. But can't we stop this?? Even the educated people are demanding dowry, this is really bad. In spite of being educated, and they have so much of life to earn and invest for themselves, why do they expect? Dowry harassment cases have never been reduced in our country. We, women, expect our husband and in-laws to be kind, loyal and keep a lot of expectations to live a happy and peaceful life, but due to this dowry, they start treating women badly, criticise for every small issue and finally can lead to suicide or divorce.
    Nowadays, both a boy and a girl are equally educated and talented, I think this dowry system should be banned completely. There are men who just marry for dowry and keep on expecting more and more throughout his life. In fact, these men think it is their responsibility to fulfill their son-in-laws every demand.
    I strongly feel that dowry system should get completely banned and whoever is following must be punished.

  • #633836
    Please don't reply to threads that are more than 10 days old.


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