There is such negativity around old age homes. Most of us confuse and equate old age homes to ill treatment by children.
Can I just ask people to think, there are so many babies and children looked after by nannies and maid servants because mother wants to work. The are many children who fathers or mothers (doctors, nurses, engineers, management consultants or experts) work abroad leaving behind one parent or none with children in India. There are children in boarding schools because parents do not have time to devote to their care because their jobs take them to multiple places for a variable period of time.
I'm not saying the above is wrong or universal but the same should apply to old age homes. I think, we should get away from the thought that old age homes are bad and people staying their are suffering a worse fate.
The world has changed, so are the children who start a new family, daughter-in-laws have changed, there are dysfunctional families in which elderly parents have to suffer in silence the emotional and verbal ill-treatment meted out. It happens behind four walls and we know about it but just do not want to believe in it.
I would say, keep some reserves for yourselves when you reach the stage of being grandparents. If all is well,stay at home and enjoy the rest of your years. If not, voluntarily move in to an old age home, a gated senior citizen community, make friends, have a positive approach. Maintain a little distance from your son's or daughter's family. This 'little distance' is very helpful is putting down the excess emotional baggage on both sides. Enjoy seeing your grandchildren whenever time permits, be happy that they are happy. You too can make new friends and interact with new people and live a life with a difference in the twilight of your life.