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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Does age gap matters in romantic relationships?

    In Indian context, in romantic relationships, men and women prefer someone their own age but sometimes are open to 5 to 10 years junior or senior. If age gap is more there will be social disapproval.
  • #635266
    Do you mean - a person of 60 will have a partner of 37 (Half + 7). I interpret it as a man of 60 can romance with a lady of 37, and a woman of 60 can have romance with a man of 37. Is it?
    No life without Sun

  • #635267
    In olden days the age gap between husband and wife would range from 8 to 12 years. Why because, a wife is supposed to serve the husband , look after the family and also at the fag end of the life of the husband, wife should be younger so that she can serve him. But over the passage of time the age gap has drastically reduced due to advancement of education and now people are preferring just one year gap or even same year. But in no case the wife should not be more than the husband age because she cannot be commanded by the him. Nevertheless it all left to the bride and the groom.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #635268
    Sun,
    No. Applicable between 25 to 28

  • #635273
    There is no correlation between age and basic understanding between husband and wife. Those who are now sixty five years old, have wives who are around ten years younger. Yet, they have gone though a series of relationships that are a huge mix of the good and the bad.. Yet, they have had tolerance of ambiguity, ability to sacrifice their own personal interest in terms of the larger family interest and so on.

    However, times have changed now and it is not wise to have to have a big difference between the age of the man and the woman, even in arranged marriages. This is more so, as the times are characterized by the presence of the rat race, huge office politics, eating out as a matter of routine and so on. If, for example, the age group is such that the age difference is three or four years, and both of them are from the same industry like IT, they will naturally develop a deep understanding of each other and have family relationships that are healthy. These may not match those of their parents, but since both of them are aware of the new realities, they tend to easily adjust.

    For instance, there is a thriving service sector in most towns, and in the big cities, where the so called "side dishes" come from hotels. So, either the husband or the wife gets to spend just about twenty minutes on making such dish and the rest comes from outside within twenty minutes. The time saved is spent on caring and sharing of a tall order.

    So, while there is no correlation ship between age and mutual understanding, in the modern times, it is always fine if the age group is just four or five. It is always a question of adapting to modern times. I guess this adapting to modern times is now happening very fast now.

  • #635280
    I think age gap of a maximum of 7 to 8 years is ok for people to marry. But more than ten is really high. When age group for men is much higher than female, there would be quite mature relationship. But love and affection do not depend on age factors too. As people say love is blind. This phrase really holds true in real life.

    But there should be a compatibility in terms of age also, as that helps in maintaining the relationship on every level affectionately.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #635301
    Neeraj,
    Further, Is it right to say that only the age group 25 - 28 is fit for romance? What & where is the authority for romance?

    No life without Sun

  • #635302
    My opinion is different on this issue. A better understanding between the two involved should be smooth then the age gap will not come into picture. I have seen families where the age gap between the two is more than 10 years but are leading a comfortable life. Similarly I have seen people with same age gap but having many problems. Similarly people with less age gap also feeling a lot of differences. So we should have an amicable behaviour and respect the partner.so as such age difference will not be so important but proper understanding is the key factor for a happy life .man
    drrao
    always confident

  • #635304
    Neeraj, the rule is not applicable when there is a monetary angle to it. In such a case the age gap does not matter. For all practical purposes where it is only the love between a man and woman, your rule is applicable.
    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #635327
    There is nothing as such which we call the romance in the real world. But instead this is the attraction that works all the way. Two other components that keeps us together is the Interest & the Fear.

    We can take the real instance like from the celebrities life from Bollywood as well. But whatsoever, I agree with Mr. Mohan that & nevertheless it all left to the bride and the groom.

  • #635329
    Romance has no age. I remember my friend who told this story. The end result of the story won't be revealed as it is a secret behind the romance. You will have to guess and understand it if you can.

    Two couples, one elderly couple in their seventies and one young couple in their twenties were residing in a star hotel. Their rooms were adjacent to each other. There was a gap between their rooms through which voice can be heard. The young couple were on their honeymoon trip. During their stay, especially at midnight, the young couple used to hear the loud laughter of the old couple. This had been going on everyday regularly. They could never come to know the reason behind their loud laughing. In fact, the old enjoyed their romance and laughed loudly. Finally, the young couple peeped through and understood what was going on between the two to laugh loudly. It was a simple fun romance between the old.

    Members, what could be the reason for the loud laughter of the old couple? It is a secret that cannot be disclosed. You may post your reasons. But I will never disclose the reason for their loud laughter. It is a romantic secret of old couple. I might disclose it if requested.

    No life without Sun

  • #635384
    SUN
    You are terribly mistaken!
    The ' half + 7' rule is just a thumb rule which some people like to follow.
    For romantic relationships, age difference is not a bar at all, I believe. People and their dynamics matters!
    Having relationships with an older person can help you mature quickly. What you say?

    KVRR, Money is a spoilsport sometimes.

  • #635397
    Mr. Neeraj,
    True. The dynamics of romantic relationship matters. While the old could enjoy their romance with a loud laughter without any conversation, the younger could not even smile and enjoy their romantic relationship. the younger couple were jealousy of the old couple. This is what I wonder and say that age is not a bar for romantic relationship.

    No life without Sun

  • #635403
    Very good analysis #635384 @Neeraj ' Having relationships with an older person can help you mature quickly. '. 100% true and that is why nowadays youngsters always prefer to have their partner within their same age group and hence choose within their classmates either college or school or with their colleagues mostly in their age group with one or two years difference. It doesn't matter who is older than other.

    @Sun as told by Neeraj you have mistaken the age of 25-28 Neeraj referred. He didn't say only 25-28 as romantic age, choosing of a partner mostly occurs in the age group 25-28 and hence when they choose, they have to see within +7 but I doubt nowadays +7 is beyond the limit as people choose a difference within 2 to 3 years only.

    Nice to be in ISC and feel the difference.

  • #635425
    To some extent, a large age gap can be detrimental to a romantic relationship but it is difficult to explain it with a mathematical formula.

    In general, romance is a feeling of heart and age is no barrier there. If you are having a platonic type of relationship, age will not come in between. In fact, romance is something related to the perfect understanding of human sentiments between two people and devising a formula for it will be a bit far from reality.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #635508
    According to me, sincere,legal romance has no age as there is one tamil song ,'aimbathilum aasai varum' which means 'even in fifty years one can love'. But the romance always should be on his wife or her husband. Whatever may be if the proper understanding is there, there is no age for romance.

  • #635533
    I have neither age nor romantic experiences to answer subjectively but I imagine that with large gaps in age the couple would find it difficult to laugh at same subjects. Difficult to comprehend the contemporary in the same way. And when couple no longer feels the same they lose interest in each other.

    This is the reason behind most disputes in couples.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #635541
    A very recent example to quote is Milind Soman's marriage to Ankita Konwar. Milind is 52 and Ankita 27. The case of French President Macroon is well know. He is 40 and she is 64.

    These kind of romantic and marriage relationships are now becoming more and more. That means age gap does not matter in romantic relationships.

  • #635853
    The age gap in most of the marriages in our family circle is around 5 years. Traditionally it was frowned upon if there was a wider age gap between couples or if the girl was older than the boy. In South Indian families, if the boy is younger than the girl by a couple of years, it again raises eyebrows.

    Presently the family vs work dynamics have changed, it takes a while to complete education, get a job and the career to take off.

    So, the age gap could be more and still acceptable. If there is wide age gap then the problems would be related to the level of maturity, keeping in pace in different social circles, level of insecurity and a slightly different outlook towards priorities of self, marriage, and family. At times money makes the debate of a wide age gap almost non-existence.

    I personally feel, the both concerned have a good understanding and the bond of love and trust is stable, then age difference will not be an issue.


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