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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Will excessive doting, of daughters by fathers, lead to problems?

    I have a sweet daughter, who was around 7 weeks premature, when she was born. To be born a perfectly normal child, and staying just five days in the incubator, was termed by hospital authorities, a "medical miracle". Today, she is twenty two, a commerce graduate with First Class and Distinction and almost two years of work experience with the third largest audit company in the world, in assurance audit. She has just quit since she wants to pursue something different.

    Different, she has been, from day one. When just one year old, she would ransack the house. When she was two, we even avoided taking her out, since she would literally give us tense moments. Every single moment was one of joy, watching her do all the pranks. She was termed hyper-active.

    Like many fathers, I started doting her then, and I do that even now. Faced with a huge criticism from my wife and other relatives, I slow down a bit, but resume my doting once again. I do not like her junk food habits, but I now take that too in my stride.

    I often see several such children and, in each case, the father is seen doting. The mother tries to be strict, and does interfere, more so, when the child is seen doing things that don't confirm to established norms. ( Tamil Brahmin culture, in our case).

    Yet, I cannot stop doting. Is this a problem? More so, if the child is highly independent, and is damn sure of what she is doing? Yes, cooking may be a problem. But there is you tube to help. There is swiggy too. And too many buggies will emerge by then, when she gets married.

    What are your reactions, dear members? I would like to hear from each woman member.
  • #638541
    In every house the son is dear to the mother and the daughter is more liked the father. The daughter is most pampered by the father and dotting has become necessary to give a boost to her confidence level. If her father is beside her, she would attempt great things and even successful. At the same time over pampering by the father also leads to problem. I have seen some girl child that they wont sleep until the father return home and have food with her. If the father happens to to out of station, then the child gets fever and the father would be asked to return home immediately,
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #638632
    Excessive dotting is never good either for a boy or a girl till they understand the things properly. We should take care of them and try to tell them which is good and which is bad till they understand the world properly. Once they attain the age of 18 we should treat them more as a friend and advise them only but should not force. When the children don't understand and differentiate between good and bad we should teach them properly and if they are getting inclined to unwanted habits we should make them stop it. We should bring them up in such a way that they will understand what they can and what they can't. I know many children who got spoiled because of excessive doting of their parents. Having a liking and playing with them and loving them is OK. But we should make them to understand the things properly and should bring them up in such a way that they can differentiate between good and bad
    drrao
    always confident


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