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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How can I find out my own fault?

    I have been listening to this advice since time immemorial. "You have to criticize yourself. Be your own critic. Find out your own fault. Only then you will achieve success". Maybe so. I have to find fault of my own. But how?

    Let me try to analyze. Whenever I take any decision, whenever I do something, I do that thinking that is the best possible solution. Everybody does so. Nobody chooses the second-best alternative willingly. He/She chooses the alternative which he/she thinks best. But sometimes the decision goes wrong.

    In such a case, how can a person be his/her own critic? Can he/she find own fault? I think, no. And what is the value of fault-finding mission after the event is over, after the wrong decision is made?
  • #645185
    I bet this is a very pertinent dilemma everyone faces some or the other time in life. The more I think about it, I feel I do not have a clear cut answer to this question. When I have taken the best decision according to the best of knowledge and ability and it goes wrong, I can probably blame it on my inexperience or some inefficiency or simply on fate. Maybe I have been naive or emotional in my decision -making. Maybe my assumptions were incorrect or the time was not right. It could be anything.
    Analyzing is not a completely hopeless task altogether. Maybe we will learn something new about the situation at hand and that will prevent us from making a similar mistake in the future. Maybe we can pass on our learning to someone who can benefit when faced with a similar situation.
    Analyzing and accepting failure is fine but blaming and harping on the problem is of no use. There is absolutely no point in crying over spilled milk for sure.

  • #645187
    No matter how much one tries, one makes wrong decisions at some time. One can fix it, learn from it and move on to progress with a newly acquired experience.

    If you can't find your own faults, ask your critic, he will tell; ask your enemy, he will let it rip. But don't explode on them, just remove the adjectives and expletives to note the actual points. Improve on those.

    What you think you are, what others think you are, and what God knows you to be will all be different. Others, if not friendly will be nasty as they tell of you. God will be the nicest, and let you see the lightning without feeling the strike. Alert-for-next-time mission is better than fault-finding mission, even after wrong decision.

  • #645191
    Be your own critic. Yes as long as you tow this line of action, then nothing can go wrong. When you taken any action where there is risk factor, better to consult your past experience or others expertise. But many a time we are averse to taking advise from others as we feel that we have grown enough to tackle anything thing negative or fall out of any of our own decision. Self probing is the best way to evaluate ourselves. By the end of the day, you know better what went wrong, and what are the factors responsible for the face off or the fall out , and that will bring comprehensive results of your own. Many people again does not want to probe themselves, taking it granted that what ever they have done is right and correct. But the person who admits his own mistake and vulnerable to changes proposed by his own inner heart or even at others advise are always progressed well as per the history.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #645197
    True. There is no use pondering over the past. But we can just keep it as a reference. A list of things-not-to-do. We humans are creatures that love seeing patterns in things. So when a work is done, try to notice the pattern. Split your work into fractions.
    To be honest it is very easy finding where exactly you went wrong. I can almost pinpoint every time my mistakes, it be programming in computer or in real life. The art is called "debugging". Identifying "bugs" in your bodily programming and eliminating them to be a better version of yourself.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #645215
    I accept that thinking about the past is of no use. But analysing the past failures to know the reasons for failure and understanding where we have gone wrong is never a wasteful experience. It will be very useful to know our weaknesses and we can make efforts to come out of that problem. When we face a similar situation again we may not do the same mistake. So "You have to criticize yourself. Be your own critic' means for me that thinking of our own failures and leaning the lessons from that failure and not repeating the same mistake again and again.
    If postmortem is not done we can't understand the reason for death. By doing postmortem we may not be able to make the dead person come to life again. But definitely, the people who are in the line can understand what is the cause of the death. They can prevent such deaths further by understanding the causes properly.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #645222
    One who cannot fault himself lives in delusion.

    Let us start with the fundamental premise that no one is perfect. There is always room for bettering your performance, attitude, speech, behaviour etc.

    The best way to achieve that is to listen to what others have to say about you and/or your actions. If they find something wrong with you/them, don't turn a blind eye to their criticism. Analyse why they said what they did, without holding grudges and biases.

    Step aside and view yourself and ask questions –

    Could I have done it differently? Would the results have been different had I done this instead of this? Should I have behaved in this manner? Should I have shown restraint? Do I jump to conclusions? Do I not care about another's opinion? Do I think I am always correct?

    Answers to these questions will give you enough material to find fault with yourself. Dissect each answer, until you find the fault.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #645256
    I thank all Members for their extremely valuable advice. In actuality, I feel that it is really very difficult to identify one's own faults. But, there is no doubt that finding one's own faults would help the person in future endeavours.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #645260
    I am a bit late in joining the discussions and responding to the interesting issue raised by the author still I feel to add something to this discussion.

    Everyone has a hidden 'he' or 'she' inside him who time and again alerts him whenever he is going in a wrong or undesirable direction.

    Many times we ignore that inner voice and go ahead with our objective only to repent later that we did a mistake or a bad decision.

    It happens many times in our life but we do not confide it with others fearing that we will be considered immature or imperfect.

    So let us not ignore what 'he' is telling us and go ahead only after taking the cognizance of that inner voice within us.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #645270
    We all face these type of situations at different moments of our life. We do our best, but do not get the desired result at times. We do learn from our mistakes and we can always take the help of others if we are unable to find our own mistakes. Actually when we couldn't succeed, we keep on thinking that we did everything but failed.

    If we take a little time to analyze the whole process, then in many cases we can find our faults. The advise to be someone's own critic is possibly because we tend to find fault of others rather than looking at our own faults. But if we really cannot analyze a particular situation or unable to find our own faults then we can always take the help of somebody who is associated with the situation or has experienced similar situation in life.

    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"


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