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Dowry system in India.


Posted Date: 11 Jul 2008      Posted By:: Prabhakar     Member Level: Gold    Member Rank: 968     Points: 1   Responses: 15



"Dowry" the gift given from the daughter's parents to the husband is in news from years.Write your valuable opinions about this dowry system in India.



Responses

#19392    Author: Savitha      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 0     Date: 11/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

Dowry system is followed for long years.In the past 19th century there are demand for bridegroom, so parents search for the male and marry their daughter by giving lot of gifts to the guys side.The same started problem for the bride side.Due to the well health people, the poor and the middle class people got affected.They are struggling to ger bridegroom for their daughter as they are asking huge dowry.The dowry system is to be taken seriouslu and to be banned.

Its because theparents are ready to give huge dowry to their daughters, the dowry sytem is not stopped.This should be severely taken care.


 
#19396    Author: Ankush Das      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 45     Date: 11/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

The Dowry system has been followed as a tradition for a long long time. The Dowry system is surely responsible to the bad or worse sex ratio in India(933 females per 1000 males). Even after so many awareness campaigns and movements to abolish Dowry, this system is still largely prevalent in the illiterate and rural India. Not only them, even some urban middle class people are also included in this list. No wonder the sex ratio in India is constantly in a declining trend. Even though the Government of India has imposed ban on dowry, it is still practised illegally in some parts of India mostly, Haryana where the sex ratio(842 females per 1000 males) is causing a global concern among many people.

Regards,
Ankush Das


 
#19414    Author: sobha wilson      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 61     Date: 11/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

Dowry or Dahej is the payment in cash or/and kind by the bride's family to the bridegroom' s family along with the giving away of the bride ( called Kanyadaan) in Indian marriage . Kanyadanam is an important part of Hindu marital rites. Kanya means daughter, and dana means gift.
Dowry originated in upper caste families as the wedding gift to the bride from her family. The dowry was later given to help with marriage expenses and became a form of insurance in the case that her in-laws mistreated her. Although the dowry was legally prohibited in 1961, it continues to be highly institutionalized. The groom often demands a dowry consisting of a large sum of money, farm animals, furniture, and electronics.

Regards
Sobha Wilson





 
#19446    Author: S.Neyha      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 942     Date: 11/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 5

Technically speaking you can not call dowry as gifts given by the bride sid to the groom side.Gifts should not be demanded .It is a good thing that they are in news these days otherwise people try to ignore facts. My opinion regarding the dowry system is that it should be banned . Most of the sucide cases in india are due to the dowry harassment. Asking the bride to bring 25 lakhs after marriage is not something that any sane person would call as gift.

 
#19465    Author: Latha Jayaprakash      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 83     Date: 11/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

No Sobha, you are wrong there, Kanya danam is not daughter and gift ie dowry. It is said that Girl is given away as a gift and not money with daughter.

Nowadays girls are also studying and earning equally if not more than the boys.
It is really difficult to get boys who have studied that much because boys tend to look for jobs soon after they finish their studies.

It need not be taken as the long standing tradition to take dowry. Long standing traditions like girls sitting at home has changed and so this also can change.

The parents are encouraging and paying for their daughters to study more and more. They are not able to save as before. So the parents are left alone in their old age without anything.

So if the dowry is not paid for, they will have that much money to fall back upon in the later years.

My parents have not given a paise as dowry for me and I have not paid any for my daughter and will not ask any for my son also.
Not to take and not to pay has been our decision. What is there will be divided between them after our time. Like us all the parents should decide. only then this menace will stop.

Regards
Latha Jayaprakash


 
#19467    Author: misha      Member Level: Silver      Member Rank: 0     Date: 11/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

The dowry system is so deeply rooted in Indian culture, that sometimes one feels that there's going to be no way out - at least not for another century.


Even modern, well-educated families start saving up money for their daughter's dowry as soon as she is born, so what can one expect from the uneducated masses, whose only form of education is tradition?

When demands for dowry are not met, the bride is subject to torture, and often even killed. The reason many parents don't want to have daughters is because of the dowry they will have to shell out at her marriage, and the stress they go through due to never ending demands from her in-laws.

Dowry is an evil, evil system and all of us, at some level, condone it and even contribute to it.

Often the boys parents don't demand dowry, but our culture is such that we feel we must give something to the in-laws. In such cases, give as much as you receive. When you go out of your way because you are the parents of the girl, you are contributing to this evil.

Come festivals like Diwali or Holi, and the parents of the daughter flood her in-laws with gifts. If gifts are expected - your daughter is married into the wrong family. If such giving is self-inflicted, you're making a mistake. Give a token present to your daughter. If you want to give her something more, do so, but don't feel pressured to give anything more than you receive to her in-laws. You don't need to if your daughter is happily married and has a supportive husband - so DON'T.


 
#19513    Author: Latha Jayaprakash      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 83     Date: 12/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 5

Dear Misha,

Like you said we the girls parents are the ones spoiling everyone. We are also boy's parents. If we give a gift to the daughter and son in law it should be enough. Why give all the family members? Is it needed?
Women are the main reason for this. They have to learn that taking as well as giving dowry is wrong. If we refuse to take as boy's parents we can refuse to give as girl's parents.
Only then this dowry menace will go.

Regards
Latha Jayaprakash


 
#19526    Author: deshpande      Member Level: Silver      Member Rank: 0     Date: 12/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

The Dowry system has been followed as a tradition for a long long time. The Dowry system is surely responsible to the bad or worse sex ratio in India(933 females per 1000 males). Even after so many awareness campaigns and movements to abolish Dowry, this system is still largely prevalent in the illiterate and rural India. Not only them, even some urban middle class people are also included in this list. No wonder the sex ratio in India is constantly in a declining trend. Even though the Government of India has imposed ban on dowry, it is still practised illegally in some parts of India mostly, Haryana where the sex ratio(842 females per 1000 males) is causing a global concern among many people.

Technically speaking you can not call dowry as gifts given by the bride sid to the groom side.Gifts should not be demanded .It is a good thing that they are in news these days otherwise people try to ignore facts. My opinion regarding the dowry system is that it should be banned . Most of the sucide cases in india are due to the dowry harassment. Asking the bride to bring 25 lakhs after marriage is not something that any sane person would call as gift.


 
#20272    Author: vinayak      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 399     Date: 17/Jul/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 4

In spite of modernization and the increasing role of women in all walks of life, the practice of the dowry in India is becoming widespread, and the value of dowries is increasing. If a bride’s family fails to pay the amount of dowry demanded by the prospective groom’s family, the bride will be cruelly treated by the in-laws, and in many cases will be burnt to death.

 
#26174    Author: Dr.Sanjeev(Sandy)      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 11     Date: 26/Aug/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 5

When any system is made it certainly have some postive thinking, but its we people on virtue of fulfilling our need, greed we modify that system. Similar is the case here too, dowry was initially a system when marriages used to happen in very tender age and it was the gift given from a girls father for the sake of proper caring of her daughter but now a days it is a form of resource. But beware guys female ratio are reducing drastically and a day will come when they will seek dowry to marry a man.

Dr. Sanjeev
Site coordinator, Indiastudychannel.com


 
#26363    Author: sibasish      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 0     Date: 27/Aug/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

Dowry or Dahej is the payment in cash or/and kind by the bride's family to the bridegroom' s family along with the giving away of the bride ( called Kanyadaan) in Indian marriage . Kanyadanam is an important part of Hindu marital rites. Kanya means daughter, and dana means gift.
Dowry originated in upper caste families as the wedding gift to the bride from her family. The dowry was later given to help with marriage expenses and became a form of insurance in the case that her in-laws mistreated her. Although the dowry was legally prohibited in 1961, it continues to be highly institutionalized. The groom often demands a dowry consisting of a large sum of money, farm animals, furniture, and electronics.



The practice of dowry abuse is rising in India. The most severe in “bride burning”, the burning of women whose dowries were not considered sufficient by their husband or in-laws. Most of these incidents are reported as accidental burns in the kitchen or are disguised as suicide. It is evident that there exist deep rooted prejudices against women in India. Cultural practices such as the payment of dowry tend to subordinate women in Indian society.


 
#26365    Author: sibasish      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 0     Date: 27/Aug/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

Though prohibited by law in 1961, the extraction of DOWRY from the bride's family prior to marriage still occurs. When the dowry amount is not considered sufficient or is not forthcoming, the bride is often harassed, abused and made miserable. This abuse can escalate to the point where the husband or his family burn the bride, often by pouring kerosene on her and lighting it, usually killing her. The official records of these incidents are low because they are often reported as accidents or suicides by the family. In Delhi, a woman is burned to death almost every twelve hours . The number of dowry murders is increasing. In 1988, 2,209 women were killed in dowry related incidents and in 1990, 4,835 were killed . It is important to reiterate that these are official records, which are immensely under reported. The lack of official registration of this crime is apparent in Delhi, where ninety percent of cases of women burnt were recorded as accidents, five percent as suicide and only the remaining five percent were shown as murder

 
#26366    Author: sibasish      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 0     Date: 27/Aug/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

One specific case happened to a woman whose name could not be disclosed, her husband received the right amount of dowry and demanded more as the relationship grew more serious, it was like her family had to pay for him to be with her because he made them pay more than just marriage dowry. She began to explain, "Trouble began when my husband started demanding a dowry of Rs.200, 000 from my father after a year of our marriage”. This is now happening not just at the beginning of the marriage but after in some cases. Dowry has affected people and their health in a huge way since it first started, it raised issues that question their economy and social political rights. In 1994 there were 5199 deaths most of them coming from Uttar Pradesh in India, they were molestation cases, rape by other family members on the grooms side and in some cases even burned to death.

There are no solutions to this problem, the only solution presented was the legalization of the dowry act in 1961 and since then it has gotten worse. This Dowry law in 1961 made things a lot worse so it has not helped India a lot, although the dowry offenders are sometimes brought to justice this is usually only 50% of the time. Other times the women are threatened if they are not killed that if they tell then they tell the police they will be killed, other times they are too scared or the court judges are paid off in the grooms benefit. The legalization law was the only solution and that cant stop dowry deaths or dowry period because of sexism that their culture was brought up on. “Girls ate after the boys, they got the second best pick of the fruit, and they got the worst beds when the summer house burst with relatives”.

After a law passed that made dowry illegal there has been no other solutions presented but women support groups and feminist rallies but for the women who are not lucky enough to experience freedom there voices are not heard. If the law takes it into there own hands there is still a 50/50 chance that it won't go to far and the man will not get convicted for what is done. Nipping sexism at its root over time will show new generations that sexism isn't right and they will grow up seeing this on T.V so eventually if this is considered sexism or dowry if not both will know longer exist. But as far as action taking place this wont stop the deaths this will just scare the perpetrators, but for actions to take place the people who take the action must realize all are created equal.


 
#26781    Author: sibasish      Member Level: Gold      Member Rank: 0     Date: 29/Aug/2008   Rating: 2 out of 52 out of 5     Points: 6

Why is not everyone participating in this discussion?

After Dowry’s are given, and the marriage is final, it is presumed that everything is taken care of and the families go on with their lives. Consequently, because of this, dowry Deaths have gained popularity and inhumanity continues to flourish. Soon after the marriage has become final, the husband’s family starts demanding more from the dowry’s. hat there are over 6,000 dowry deaths documented per year (many more most likely un-documented), while fury greed continues to grow. Mandelbaum jgives examples of young girls that were married off with high dowry’s for suitable husband’s. They claim it isn’t enough to provide for them and start to threaten the wife.


 
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