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Responsive listening
Posted Date:
15 Aug 2008
Total Responses:
0
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Posted By: sobha wilson Member Level: Diamond Points: 1
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Show the other person by your attitude that you really hear him
e.g. nodding or shaking your head.
Twenty ways to be an active listener
1. Remember that you cannot speak and listen, or speak and write simultaneously (we know this and yet we often make this mistake). Don't wait for the other person to draw a breath and then take over the conversation
2. Stick to the main points and the facts. Try to summarise in your mind what has been said to keep the thread of the story. When you hear well, then you can often predict where the other person is coming from.
3. Be aware of your own favourite subjects. One word
can distract your thoughts from the conversation so that you
don't hear the rest of the story. We all have this weakness.
4. Don't get irritated. Noises can disturb you. Keep on listening
with close attention.
5. Try not to get emotionally involved. Your emotions may
take you away from your pur-pose of helping the other person.
Above all, never get carried away by anger or indignation.
6. Don't trust your memory for appointments, which you make. Make some notes of the matters discussed and of the next appointment immediately after the meeting, when you are by yourself.
7. Let the person you counsel tell their story in full. This
will save you time and prevents interruptions and hasty
conclusions from your side.
8. Try to identify with the other person's situation. Do
your best to understand them.
9. Do not judge, but ask yourself why the person being
counselled sees things in such a way.
10. React to what is said, not to the actual person. Do not
be influenced by the impresssion the person makes on you, but listen to what they have to say. Unsympathetic people can also have a correct opinion.
11. Do not try to find an explanation based on the literal
meaning of their words. Try to find out the intention behind
the words.
12. Try to find out what goes on in the mind of the person
you want to help. Why do they talk like this?
13.Listen selectively. Problems are often hidden in a long story.
Learn to separate the wheat from the chaff. Try to find the
right point of contact.
14. Be relaxed; make the other person feel at ease.
15. Avoid so-called silent criticism, even when you dont
agree with the person you counsel.
16. Listen attentively but in a relaxed manner. Sit opposite
the person and look them in the eye in a friendly way. Don't let the meeting look like an interrogation. Bend over a little and be sympathetic.
17. Try to create a pleasant atmosphere. Don't let the
conversation be disturbed by interruptions. Don't invade the privacy of the person you counsel. Don't come physically too close to the person. Stay at least at a 45 cm distance.
18. Ask open questions and follow-on questions.
Show your interest in what is said by such questions.
19. Be motivated, because your guest is motivated
20. Lead the conversation by asking relevant side questions.
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