|
Forums » About IndiaStudyChannel » Creative Writing »
Posted Date: 10 Aug 2012 Posted By:: Mandeep   Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 101 Points: 5
Responses:
9
|
Before two and half centuries,
Here lies a great country India,
A kingdom which is full of wealth,
Where people have good health.
It had never invaded any,
But, Invaders on this country are many,
Then, some people came here for business,
But, here they got the king's weakness.
They helped kings in wars,
But, king doesn't know they are making plots,
They had controlled the king,
And expanded the kingdom's ring.
They are so cruel,
Such that they used people as fuel,
Those who killed many,
Are gifted with more money.
Being fed up with this treatment,
Then came up a great movement.
Some called it as a ripple in a pond,
But it rised as a wave in an ocean.
Many bright stars aroused in it,
Some of them sacrificed their light in that,
Remaining stars utilized that light,
As a lantern for people to think bright.
With the result of that India became a free bird,
And thus we call it as independent.
Still and forever India is a great nation,
Vandemataram! Jai hind.
Note: this is the entry for Independence Day poem contest
Regards,
Mandeep.
Editor.
"Hard work never goes unvalued"
[Do not pull old threads in forum. Ask your questions in Ask expert section]
How to get an Two wheeler loan from HDFC bank?
|
Responses
|
#340476 Author:  sankar Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 535 Date: 10/Aug/2012 Rating:  Points: 2 |
Great Poem, Mandeep. You have described our nation so well. Keep on with same tempo by contributing to ISC. All the best for the contest.
Regards,
sankar
"You have to dream before your dreams can come true"-A.P.J.Abdul Kalam
|
#340482 Author:  Ajay Prince Member Level: Silver Member Rank: 932 Date: 10/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 1 |
You exhibited the qualities of our dear nation and the creativity of yours as well through this poem.Brilliant attempt my dear,keep it up.
Regards
Prince
|
#340486 Author:  Sudhan Member Level: Diamond Member Rank: 129 Date: 10/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 2 |
Hello Mandeep,
The poem you have penned is very nice but that has one mistake that need to be corrected. Actually the song should have only 30 lines but your poem has about 32 lines and that is a mistake. Otherwise your song is good and hope this gets a prize in the contest.
With Regards,
Sudhan A
"The greatest achievement comes from the biggest challenges"
My contributions at ISC
|
| #340490 Author: Mandeep Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 101 Date: 10/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 1 |
Thank you very much Sudhan for pointing out my mistake. Now I have corrected it and now its only 30 lines. This is the only poem I have written till now. Thank you for your wishes.
Regards,
Mandeep.
Editor.
"Hard work never goes unvalued"
[Do not pull old threads in forum. Ask your questions in Ask expert section]
How to get an Two wheeler loan from HDFC bank?
|
#340547 Author:  umaperi Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 375 Date: 10/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 1 |
Your poetic India is excellent. Proud to be an Indian. Thanks for such a nice poem for India.
Regards
Uma Peri
|
#340560 Author:  Sai Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 43 Date: 10/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 4 |
amazing Poem Mandeep. Really, this so nicely put that I remember so much of it still even though I read it just once. Nice narration of how the cruel British invaded this country and smuggled themselves and then announced themselves as the supreme rulers of such a beautiful country which never invaded anyone, which never warred first and which never initiated a spell of violence. This poem really tells us how great India was and our natural mentality to crave for and make peace when ever possible.
I still hope to this India has never assaulted anyone and has never been a part of global violence.
Thanks for such a beautiful poem and I wish you all the best for the competition. You're a real patriot!
Hakuna Matata: Proact instead of reacting
|
#340585 Author:  Chitra Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 74 Date: 10/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 2 |
Great attempt. I like your poem Mandeep. I have one suggestion, if you could make the second last stanza also to four lines, the poem would have uniformity.
Regards
Chitra
"Do not give up, things might not favour you always"
|
| #340619 Author: Mandeep Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 101 Date: 11/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 1 |
@ Sai, thank you for your wishes and compliment, This is the first poem I have ever written in my life. I am happy that many members liked it.
@ Chitra, Thank you for your wishes, I had made the correction to the poem, now all stanzas are four lines.
Regards,
Mandeep.
Editor.
"Hard work never goes unvalued"
[Do not pull old threads in forum. Ask your questions in Ask expert section]
How to get an Two wheeler loan from HDFC bank?
|
|
| Post Reply |
|
|
|
 | | This thread is locked for new responses. Please post your comments and questions as a separate thread.
If required, refer to the URL of this page in your new post. |
|
|
|
|
|
|