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::TOW:: - Dowry system and its impact on a girls life
Posted Date: 11 Aug 2012 Posted By:: neelam joshi Member Level: Silver Member Rank: 1735 Points: 10 (Rs 10)
Congratulations, this thread has been selected as TOW for the week 5th - 11 August 2012
Firstly we should know what is dowry?
Dowry is a kind of gifts in the form of cash,furnitures,crockery and many household items given to the bridegroom's family along with bride.
In early time wealthy families used to give these gifts to bridegroom's family to help the newly wedded couple in the settlement of their newly started marriage life.But after time peoples accept dowry system as their culture and slowly it become compulsory for the bride's family to pay dowry to the bridegroom's family whether the bride's family being capable of giving dowry or not and bridegroom's family also takes this as a good opportunity to get money and they began to demand expensive items,jewelry,cash etc from the brides family.
And because of all these reasons the society used to give more importance to the bridegroom's family and this enhance boy importance more then girls.
From that time girls were supposed to be a burden on a family and given less importance no education, no respect but to much disrespect as the father of bride has to pay a huge amount of money which he has saved with lot of hard work and a boy become a boon for a family as he we will be given lots of money,gifts and property from the brides family in the future.Due to this parents began to kill their girls child as they born.
Thus marriages becomes a business in the Indian society where all the happiness,dreams and hopes of a girls were suppressed under the heavy burden of dowry.
After all these conditions peoples began to kill their brides for more dowry.
When the new technologies like ultrasound come into existence peoples find it as a good option for getting rid of a girl child and began to kill their unborn girl child by giving doctors huge money.
As the doctors find it as profitable business they also began peoples in such a crime.
And all this situation created a mess in the society. This injustice led to a revolution in the society girls,womens,mothers and wifes began to demand for their rights and because of this government have to made rules against dowry system and punishments for the give and take of dowry.
Dowry system at present time-
But still dowry system exist in our society not openly but that dowry has given a name of gifts for bride.
Today we thinks that this problem is only in the conservative families but its not true even in the well educated family a father not invest in his daughters dream he secure money for dowry in her marriage and still thinks his daughter as a burden and always have thoughts in mind about his daughters marriage and too many questions how he will manage for her daughter? and lots of stress as he is a father of a girl.
could we will be able to eradicate this problem completely?
will a day come when their will be full joy all over on the birth of a girl?
|#340722 Author: K Mohan Member Level: Platinum Member Rank: 4 Date: 11/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 3|
I think with great awareness being created by NGO organizations across the country, the importance of girl child is being felt and the mortality rate of fetus in the womb is decreasing. More over the educated lot are not insisting for dowry and insist that good looking family type girl who can accommodate to the taste of joint family is the liking and therefore harassment of ladies over the dowry is dwindling.
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|#340733 Author: Sachin Rambhau Kukale Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 222 Date: 11/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 2|
It is not only dowry system that is affecting low birth rate of girls in India. There are other factors also like:
Our male dominated culture.
We want son to run our dynasty.
Apart from the fact that girls are involving in every are and field of life, superstitions and beliefs of peoples in the country also have been playin important role in low birth rate of girls.
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|#340772 Author: Mala Jaiswar Member Level: Diamond Member Rank: 105 Date: 11/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 4|
I think in the world of today when the internet revolution has started in the country, the existence of such a thing like dowry is a shame for the country. Innumerable number of women have been burnt to death and tortured in the name of dowry. The Government has started a campaign against dowry years back but still this menace exists in society. This is foolish system continuing primarily only in our country. Considering the low ratio of females in the country as compared to males, it's the females who should demand dowry for getting married ! (just a joke).
|#340823 Author: Farid Akhtar Member Level: Diamond Member Rank: 31 Date: 11/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 2|
Dowry is really a meance for our society and we should boycott it from left right and center. Girls should commit that they are not going to marry any boy who seeks dowry and that is the way we can come out of this devil system.
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|#340860 Author: Sun Member Level: Diamond Member Rank: 15 Date: 11/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 4|
Yes. The time is changing now. After few few years, we will find the bride demanding dowry from the bridegrooms father. With the education standard and earning capability of a bride, she will have the right to choose a bridegroom and demand dowry from him. She would say "Look Gentleman, I am earning Rs. 50,000 a month in a private firm, whereas your salary is just Rs. 20,000 per month as a government servant. Since I am earning more, You need to pay dowry to take me as your life's partner.How many sovereign of gold you can place on my neck. How many bundles of cash you can give? Do you agree with my proposal. If not, please try somebody else of your equal status. Sorry to say this".
Just watch. The dowry trend will change. I am not joking. I am very serious about this issue.
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|#340927 Author: neelam joshi Member Level: Silver Member Rank: 1735 Date: 11/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 1|
Thank you all to give a response for my post on dowry system.But here i am not talking about the dowry system i am talking about its impact on a normal girls life.
Still when a girl who has lived her life with no discrimination between genders passes her school level. A normal middle class father hesitate to invest on her future he thinks about the future that how he will manage in her marriage if he invest money on her daughter and what about his son?
This mentality of a father hurts a girl very much who have just stepped towards adolescence and not yet out of her childhood.
I want to ask the society will this mentality ever change in the Indian society?
|#340941 Author: Tulika Devi Nath Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 101 Date: 11/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 5|
No, this mentality is not changed at all. Though large numbers of people are educated in our society but still now there are some people who do not like to accept new thoughts and ideas. They are not interested at all to make their daughters educated and make them dependent. Such types of people think their daughters as a burden and not ready at all to invest money for their education. These peoples like to save some amount of money to give as a dowry with their daughters. They always give preferences to their sons. In case of their sons they are ready to invest a huge amount of money to educate him. This mentality should be changed. All people should treat equally both their male and female child. Female child should have equal right as a male child. Now a days the NGOs organizations take good initiative for the welfare of a girl child.
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|#341117 Author: Sukhdev Singh Member Level: Platinum Member Rank: 10 Date: 12/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 5|
Though the prohibition of dowry act was passed in the year 1961, but the act has not helped much in stopping the evil social practice of the dowry system among most of the people. We still hear of dowry deaths and harassments to the girls by the in-laws for not bringing the dowry or bringing insufficient dowry. The would be grooms are sold depending upon the families they belong to and the earnings they make in their lives. It is the mind set of the people that need a change if the practice of giving and accepting a dowry has to be stopped in our country. The education of girls and their economic independence is going to play the most important role in curbing the practice of the dowry system. The parents need to be counselled and the girls have to take bold decisions if this practice is to be stopped.
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|#341125 Author: Mandeep Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 99 Date: 12/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 4|
This Dowry problem is one of the burning problems since many years. Though dowry prohibition act was passed many years ago, this system is still continuing. Ofcourse parents of both families are also responsible for that. In most of the families bride's family used to give some gifts to the bridegroom . There are some worse cases where a person tortures his wife for additional dowry and in some worst cases kills her wife inorder to marry another girl. Now a days this system is changing, as all are educated Dowry system is slowly disappearing. This is a good sign for the society. Hope very soon Dowry system will be eradicated.
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|#341198 Author: Chitra Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 76 Date: 12/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 5|
I think dowry system prevailing in our country gives heart attacks to the parents of female children. When their daughter reaches a certain age, the actual stress starts, the poor parents may have to sell their only house to get the girl married off. The guys parents never even try to understand the difficulties of bringing up a girl and the hardships her parents have to face to fetch the money and gold for her marriage. There are hardly any guy or his parents who genuinely says we do not want any dowry and we will not accept it. What some of them says is we do not want any dowry but you can give whatever you want to your child. In this situation also the girl's parents are in trouble because still they have to give dowry.
There are many laws in our country with millions of loop holes, so why to create another such law. It is the mentality of the society and people that has to change. Our country is ahead when it come to literacy rate, but are we actually literate?
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|#341897 Author: supriya anand Member Level: Bronze Member Rank: 0 Date: 14/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 1|
it is not only dowry system that is affecting low birth rate of girls... female foeticide is also one of them
|#341914 Author: Sudhan Member Level: Diamond Member Rank: 130 Date: 14/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 4|
I think that though there are many cases that are arising with the effect of Dowry these days there are still many who are looking for the dowry at that time of marriage and it is something like a practice made by the citizens of Indians. I think that the only thing by which we can eradicate this system is by not accepting any dowry from the boys and not giving any dowry for the girls but it all should happen altogether to get some favorable results. I think that there are givers and takers that has resulted in this and this can be removed only when they stop. Moreover the government should also impose some strict actions and find the people rather to wait to get the complaints from the public.
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|#341927 Author: Pravin S Chavre. Member Level: Gold Member Rank: 442 Date: 14/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 5|
First of all I would like to Congratulate Neelam Joshi. The effect of dowry system is very bad impression of our society. So I believe that the mentality of some people is never going to be changed and hence I wish that the strict rules and regulations to be implemented. Today there are many people in our society who claim that they have stopped the dowry system but the fact is that it is still being practiced and only few can point it out.
Hence, the strict rules and regulations will not only stop the dowry system but it will also change the mindset of the people in our society. Right now there are only few cases that people know. Now it is the responsibility of the youth and specially the boys who are going to choose their partner for life. Once the youth decides that such wrong practices are to be eradicated then it will not be difficult task to stop the Dowry system.
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|#345627 Author: Dipen Guha Member Level: Silver Member Rank: 1087 Date: 24/Aug/2012 Rating: Points: 5|
Reference to dowry or bride's price can be had in the annals of world history. In the Ramayana and the Mahabharata, instances of dowry are vivid. In the Hebrew Bible, references of dowry or dower are there.If we make a close scrutiny about this system, we can see, grooms had to pay bride's price, where the availability women virgins was scarce. Even now, in India, the groom's party has to pay dower to the bride's party in the places where matriarchy rules. But in the wider context, the very word " dowry" is an established implication of patriarchical upper hand over the groom's parents. The groom's party comes up with a pretext that by virtue of marriage true " Deliverance" to the daughter is being performed, else, the daughter will be destined to live in a condemned state of celibacy. This will add to the sin of the unfortunate helpless father. Hence, quite technically, the system has been blended with the religion, the softest part of human life. It is a clear case of black-mail. The newspapers are the documents of practical acts of victimization when the demands are left un-met or unpaid. This time-borne system has become an established syndrome, deadlier than the AIDS or cancer. In most of the arranged marriages, negotiations are hardly entertained without the deliberate projects of " give and take". When the so called sophisticated parents place their demands in a diplomatic tone, the goody-goody groom stays silent, as if, when the parents are on he should be off. What a great respect and regard to parents! But, after marriage this meek and mild groom gradually unmasks himself, and his true self come to light. He holds the equal share when physical and mental tortures are afflicted on the wife, even in killing by burning. Now, is there any doubt about the fact that his education to become a doctor/ engineer/ CA are meant to boost up his own selling price in the " market" of marriage? If the principal aim of education is to flourish one's morals. morels, ethics and ethos, at least in such social scenario purpose of education has been wrongly and detrimentally motivated. On the other hand, the parents of the bride can hardly be rigid and severe, that they ought to be. Cherishing a dream to transport the daughter to an affluent family as such, they are virtually transposing the daughter to " Hell". Besides, there are the fathers who lay grater emphasis on their parental responsibility or liability, without contemplating the consequence of their indulgence in such medieval " Barter System." The marriage being over the dutiful father just washes his hands. Unfortunately, parents, even now, look upon their daughters as mere burdens, and try to lighten their shoulders by disposing of the matter by all means. Therefore, both the sides cannot be without the negatives. At a time, when women have proved their worth ranging from domestic front to war front, race to space, the orthodox section tends to discover their great-great grannies in their university-going daughters.
It is, perhaps, because of such old and persistent orthodoxy, the modern girls have, in recent years, have become all the more desperate, vibrant, forward, carrier-oriented, rather rebellious than their counterparts.Whether good or bad, the present has to be accepted. Their independent way of thinking and personal convictions may, all the time, be not positive. But the uprise is an underlining aspect, especially in the way they argue back and do not surrender to servitude. By this they may like to vent that they are not the commodities to be bought or sold.
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