Often the question of true love arises. Everybody in his or her lifetime sometime or others questioned himself whether someone's love towards him is true or not. The question of the success of love marriage is always a point of debate. Often it has been observed that the love marriage is not successful though it started in a very promising way.
What are the causes behind this? In this article my approach is to find the answer if it is true love what we know is true.
Definition of true love
This is very difficult to express true love in word. The definition of true love in word is not at all expressible. Someone said the love is to sacrifice self for the other. Here it is the destination and a way to express the love. Love is the mental state of a person towards other. This mental state can be recognize by the action and expression of the person, but cannot be defined in word. Sometime the affection is also termed as love. But here we are talking about the love between a man and a woman.
Now the question is how to recognize the true love. There is no definite way to recognize, but this is an approach.
First of all we should learn to differentiate between the following:-
It is the first step towards love but not true in maximum cases and often termed as "Love at first Sight". As we all know the proverb "All that glitters is not gold". So the attraction towards someone does not mean that you are in love with him or her. You may like some quality in someone which you like. It may be the attraction towards the opposite sex, which is natural. We often see that the students have the first crash on the teacher or the tutor. That does not mean that you are in love. This is the attraction towards the opposite sex.
Stubborn or "Ziddipan"
Stubborn is the zeal or wish of someone to get something in the expense of everything. Sometime someone attracted towards someone and proposed him or her. If the person did not respond in a positive way then this action came into play. Then due to the Ziddipan of his character he wants to get her in any cost, and act on that course to impress the other. Even some time he cut his hand with blade and writes the other person's name. Here the stubbornness is more active than the love. After getting success to get the other the person became passive and often being blamed that he does not love her as before. This kind of things is always mistaken as true love.
Beneficial association is the attraction due there is a monetary benefit. It may sound absurd, but true. If the person is financially strong then many person wants to associate with the person. Though he or she instantly does not demand or accept anything like reward, monetary help etc. Here the person is looking for further and distant benefits after marriage. Here may be both the person are in same state. Both of them are thinking in a similar way.
Payback thinking is another dangerous form of love which is not true. Here I will give an example to understand it clearly. Suppose any person or the persons parents help financially someone to establish in life. They directly do not demand anything from the benefitted person. After establishing the benefitted person thinks that they will be happy if he or she marries their child or the person who helped him or her. Then the person started showing love towards them. This is called payback thinking. Sometime the parents helped somebody on the condition that after establishing in life he or she should marry their child. This type of association happen when of them is financially poor but have the capability to achieve the big if properly nursed.
Love by mistake
This kind of thing happens in our society due to our social and cultural structure. Suppose a boy is sexually attracted towards a girl. In the first or second instance they get a chance to have physical relation. Though they initially did not love each other, after the incident they are bound to marry. The culture and the social value do not permit his or her to separate. In an early age due to the changes in the body to attain the man or womanhood this type of incidents happen. Though they get married afterwards we cannot say it true love.
Fantasy and love
Some time fantasy towards someone appears like love. But there is a difference. When it is impossible to marry someone but still you like something on him or her and like to get only those things then it become fantasy. Here the liking is limited to that particular quality only not the person as a whole.
Sympathy, kindness and love
Sometime sympathy leads to love. But here also it is conditioned based. For example when some ones friend broken heart in love or anything in the process of showing sympathy the person get closer to the affected person and when the affected person proposes, simply it is very difficult to deny, though you do not really love the person.
All these factors can come together also in some cases. But while falling in love we should keep in mind the above factor. We should not drive by the above factor to love someone.
Never the less all these form of love though conditioned based can successful by mutual understanding. Marry who loves you but not whom you love. One fine day after association for some time you will find and will love in other.
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