How To Avoid Problems Between Siblings
Posted Date: 05-Apr-2011
Although the problems between siblings are common, they should be avoided. The bondage between the siblings is always very strong. You realize this when you grow older.
Problems between siblings
Every sibling has a problem with another sibling in the house due to different reasons. Although minor problems always exist between the siblings, but the problem should not lead to bigger problems. The bondage between the siblings in very special. The siblings belong to the same parents and the bondage between them is created by the nature. The level of understanding between the siblings can get so deep that such understanding may not exist with parents due to generation gap. The siblings are born with similar mental process although they may vary in their outward behavior. Their sense of perception towards life is very similar. Opinion clashes may appear between spouses, friends and the other associates but the bondage between siblings is nothing than very special. Apart from parents only your siblings can understand the root of your nature. No person other than your family members can understand the root of your nature. The bondage between siblings should always be strengthened other than leading to bigger problems. Some of the siblings when they grow up fight for the sake of property also. Such problems take place when both of them forget to be siblings. If the bond between the siblings get stronger the life always looks better.
Ways to cope up with the problems with the siblings
Realize the gifted relationship
The siblings should always realize that the bondage between them is always special. Can you identify the power that has created such as special bondage between you? As marriages are made in heaven so is the relationship between siblings made in heaven. You have a chance to remain together for so many years together. When you are close to each other for such a long period you can learn many things from each other. Even if you have fought with each other for a reason then realize the specialty of bond between each other. Even if your sibling has fought with you or spoken some harsh words does she or he hate you from within? Remember that your sibling has been so close to you in your odd times and no any other person rather than your sibling and parents could be. If they speak harsh words to you they do not speak those words without their deep feelings for you. If they show their affection towards you they show it with trueness in their heart. The other people around you may pretend to love you because they seek materialistic gain from you. The bond between siblings is very special because it is created in a special way. Nobody can answer that why are they born as siblings to each other? If any relationship can turn sour between siblings it is only due to the misunderstanding between each other. The siblings can personally never hate each other.
Role of the parents
If any conflicts exist between the siblings the parents should resolve the conflicts in a very unbiased way. Sometimes the parents fail to judge the mistake committed by the siblings and without judgment they take action on the sibling. For eg. If they see that the elder child is hitting the younger child they directly take action on the elder sibling when they have not viewed that the younger sibling has already hit many times which has infuriated the elder. Some parents bear a strong opinion that the elder sibling should take care of the younger sibling and hence they always expect that the elder sibling should be responsible. Whenever any conflict takes place they blame the elder one. The parents should realize that both the siblings whether elder or younger share the same responsibility. Even the parents do not hate any sibling but only due to the extreme opinion about a concept they turn biased. All these matters unnecessarily lead to misunderstanding. When the parents are resolving the problem between the siblings they should think intellectually and in an unbiased way.
Remember the lovely moments
Whenever you fight with your siblings or exchanging some conflicting words then both of you remain away from each other for some time and remember the lovely moments shared with each other in your childhood and now. Remember the moments you spent in the garden joining each other hands and freely larking with each other. Remember the times you spent in schools together when nobody accompanied you. Remember the times when your sibling shared your sad feelings and comforted you. View the snaps of your early childhood to regain your memory. These all sweet memories obviously bring you together. Such togetherness may not be shared with any one else. Your friend remains with you only for few hours and leaves you to join her family.
Do not feel unhappy when the parents pamper the other siblings
Do not develop in mind a sense of anger when parents give more chocolates to the other siblings or show pamper to the other siblings. Neither parents nor your siblings hate you. If you think in this way remember the movie "Black" starred by Rani Mukherjee. The parents always showed a soft corner to Rani because she was deaf and blind and the other sister always misunderstood her. The parents are more closer to the child that is weaker. Some parents think that the younger siblings are their weak point. Instead why won't you feel happy that your own sibling is been pampered? The parents are not depriving you from any facility. Aren't they?
Dominance of the elder sibling
Your elder sibling scolds you or bosses over you because he or she is worried about your future and wishes that you should always be happy. In the absence of the parents they think that they are responsible. Realize that he or she scolds you because she or he has a sense of attachment towards you. If they had not sense of attachment towards you then they would ignore you completely. Just understand, when you are walking on the road and you happen to fall down on the roadside due to your own carelessness does anybody come and scold you that could'nt you walk properly? The people whom you meet on the street are strangers and hence they would not bother you. Even the elder sibling should realize that the younger ones do not like to be nagged always. If you keep them nagging they think that they have no mental space and get irritated. Let them go out and learn to be on their own. Remember that you cannot spoonfeed them throughout your life.
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Mohit Kumar Singh
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