We all ever so are fond of recapturing our wondrous good old days, the music, books, albums, sounds and sights of a place that we can never get back into. But why do we like to have taking a stroll down memory lane? What induces these remembrances so different from retrieving what we had in our workplace or at home and whom we met last week? These reminiscences might have become past tense, but events of importance, people we were interested on, and places we did spend at are evergreen. I view as we get older these present days could be much alike, but I am damn sure we have only one childhood at which time we innovate something everyday and whatever we come through is new, fascinating and amazing.
On a day while I met my cousin incidentally (Vichu's sister) both gone back to those memories of our childhood, unable (unwilling) to retrieve to the present spot. On coming back to home, as my thoughts stretch across the past years the first blush of love through the childhood though remains forever.
"Years ago on the day of five in a warm summer May, I could pinpoint as it was of immense pleasance to rewind to those sweetened memories on that day. Those fun-filled flash-backs always stay tuned in our heart and soul. It all happened in my carefree high school days. A scarlet night it was at the Mylai roof-garden, nothing else, but my home at which a few garnered to welcome the celebrity. Yes, the celebrity is none other than my grandpa; for gala celebration on completing 60 years, an exotic event masterminded by his grandchildren and I am the youngest.
My grandpa is yet 60 years young, man with a sense of humor, youth in his blood, easy go-getter with our young mind, overall a lovable gramps and a special eve for grandpa. However, for me and Vichu too it is so special. Who is this Vichu? I understand you are very curious with variety of thoughts going on in your mind. Yup! I don't mind. I am privileged to have him introduced to you all. He is my cousin.
Okay. Let me come to the point. On that eve, Vichu and myself (Vichu nicknamed me Paappu) in concert entertained the great audience with a dance drama as Radha and Krishna, both being good dancers. Indeed we are. I could poke into your mind sensing that you don't believe. No other go except you ought to believe.
The festivity commenced with my brother's solo of Veerapandiya Kattabomman play (VK is a national hero fought against the British rule in the 1800s in Tamil Nadu). My brother with a cinematic mustache, (duplicate mustache pasted with feviquix as he was just 19 years at that time) obviously put up the play with a sense of fear as if the pasted mustache would tumble down anytime. It did in fact. Added to it, he had to dialog a long script like "Kisti, vari, thirai, vaddi" fantastic scripts from the movie, Veerapandiya Kattabomman and the event, a nostalgia to be ever remembered and fun-filled with his fell-off mustache mono-acting play.
Followed then was the dance drama by Vichu and Baby (who else other than myself and my cousin). Vichu as a real Dwarka Krishna playing flute (he is little bit dark in complexion and a whistling champion to play movie songs, thinking out of box as a successor to great flute Mahalingam alias Maali). Thereafter the event proceeded chasing around musical chair of dads/moms. Thanksgiving address by grandpa presenting gifts to us as a final touch to end with yummy treat from a popular eat-out those days at Mylapore.
As the curtain dropped down after the event, grandpa whispered to Vichu who was holding my hands, "So this is your Radha; isn't it?" As if lightening flashed in his eyes, Vichu winked at me. But I just kept cool. I was really a baby then, not exposed to the outside world much those days. Nothing special went on up until the 19th day of May.
It was again in the evening in May, the 19th. After a routine weekday classes in school back to my home papa and me gone to the temple nearby as it was my birthday. Papa was to me always my world. Unlike other children of my age, I could reason with him or even argue my case of having no element of logic though.
Vichu visited my house on the evening of my birthday. Chatting with papa for sometime, Vichu questioned, "Where is Paapu Uncle?" Papa signaled to the roof garden of our sweet home. I was enjoying the environs of summer breeze and green visual delight. I was disturbed by Vichu's husky call. Holding my palms, he placed a card engraved as "Vichu with love" May be because of some infatuated hormone secretion? I just exclaimed, "Hey! What is this?" He just uttered, "Yes baby it is" as he is bubbly and humorous always. But I think I do have less secretion of hormone. I just slapped his head with my maths book to go for discussions and doubts of trigonometry and algebra. He was my maths tuition teacher though he made me bored about anatomy and physiology at times to show him off as he was doing medicine in Madras Medical College. Thereafter, I noticed some chemistry transition in him, visible accents in his eyes, more grandeur and pain, avoiding tongue with the pathway of sound, inexpressive most of the times looking at me.
Couple of years later, days and months passed through. I entered the college campus with lots of exuberance. It happened that a sort of intense feel-like I did go through towards Vichu while I was through my graduation. Am I too undergoing through some hormone changes? Was it mysterious? It might be.
But I was perplexed then this was so called true soulmate intimacy or biological affinity. Might it be chemistry, lust, or infatuation? I am still dumbfounded. Sometimes it was very disturbing that I had just lived less than half of normal human life expectancy. I was going through my college. I felt I met many guys and girls, went through new experiences more than ever. Yet I was disturbed by Vichu.
With frustration like "do or die" Vichu pulled me out onto his Yamaha all the way to the public library near the college one afternoon. "Hey Baby! Come on! Out with it! What do you think of me in your mind? You seem to be a big hindrance for me. I am just out of bounds, out of studies." (He was in the final year of medicine preparing for exams in January). Holding my palms in his hands, he whispered, "I don't know why I am so disturbed of you, my baby and just can't withstand not seeing you for so long" (not too many days). Just a week ago we met last. I reacted with a smile, "Are you interested in me? I feel this is not the right time to speak on this. You have your exams to be cleared. Get finished your exams, meet my dad and talk to him. I'm always here and will not run away."
On the same night, I feel no good, burst out in tears, "Vichu, you are able to express, being a girl I could not, I'm sorry." All because of that old man (yes my grandpa).
Three to four months elapsed then, on one Sunday morning, whistling of his most favorite song, Vichu came in to talk to my daddy holding a sweet box getting through his final, getting ready for his house-surgeon internals and for his proposal too. Daddy had nothing to overlook his proposal, but to go for his papa's acceptance.
We ought to believe in "Man proposes, but God disposes" Here I should say Vichu's proposal had been turned off by his dad's egotism. Vichu's daddy never has a softhearted feel towards my papa and hostility of the dads of a family breaks the kinship between the two innocents.
Mom impelling dad to have myself married to my life partner, dad confessed to me and Vichu, "How long could we hold back to get the consent of your (Vichu's) papa? I could not help you dear"
Downhearted Vichu requested my daddy just to put off any proceeding till he completed his internal practice. But the path of my life with Vichu had become unparalleled since we two ought to go in different direction with nothing left to say but memories alone. Melancholic Vichu hatred to say goodbye verbalized "What to say other than I'm unfortunate" He left me lone in silence. Nothing else I could do except to stay as a mortal."
Yet years blew over I interrogate myself if I am still having a soft corner towards my Vichu, who sends e-card for my birthday every year. Straight from the heart, I accept existence of soft corner of my soul/heart with beautiful feelings is meant for my Vichu. It is true in the sense this soft spot exists forever.
May be this from third person's perspective not being ethical, still I take a walk down the memory lane filled with tears in my eyes, weeping out of those good old days, complimenting the Almighty for an incredible hard disc (brain) of our memories.
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