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How to confront past life memories and overcome its effects
In this article I will speak about how past life memories affect the present life. Not many but few of the people at their earlier age (2-6 years) have past life memories. These memories are likely to fade away with advancement of age and time. Some vividly remember the name of the place, their previous family name, incidents, etc., and even want to pursue their rebirth memories. I would like to highlight how getting back may affect a person’s present life. You will find it interesting.
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Real life truth
About eight years back I was on a train journey with my father. I was lucky to meet a very learned man. He looked like a sanyasi dressed in saffron. Tall, well built, composed and a typical glow on the face made him look different from the crowd. He was about my father's age and both of them became friends as they introduced themselves to each other. I was a passive listener to the interesting and enlightening conversation. I thought spending time with such people meant learning about the realities of life! I got engrossed. My father and I were awestruck to know that he was an IAS officer, who had served many parts of the country (we generally expect to meet fraudulent people on train but it is not so always ). He also had a family about which he did not want to talk. By nature my father is a very polite and diplomatic person. He helped him speak out with ease. Both of us were amazed to know that he had left his family. He preferred to become a sanyasi instead of being a family person. Status, power and money were at his foot but he said he craved to pursue goodness and merge with God. He said life has agony and pains. The quicker one can get himself / herself freed from the worldly pleasures and emotions the faster he/she will be able to reach that level of spirituality where one can experience God and his goodness. I was impressed. His simple straight cut words threw light to the best way ahead. Perhaps he would get moksha and escape rebirths, I though. But how many of us can? Getting rid of worldly pleasures, love of near and dear ones or luxuries of life is not easy.
Some of the questions regarding life and death will always haunt human minds. What I can understand is that after death there is once again a new struggle to get a better place or have a better birth! Sounds stressful and tiring! Let's for some time forget about the life to come. In this article I will talk about some wonderful rebirth memories and its effects on the current life. The readers can be believers and skeptics. I would love to know their viewpoint, it will help me learn and also enhance my knowledge regarding the deeper truths of life.
Re-birth memories
Not many but some people do have rebirth memories. Generally these memories fade away as time and age advances. Many a times these memories are vivid in children in the age group of 1-6 or 7 years. Some can remember specific names of the place, the family name, number of family members or certain incidents. While some may only have faded memories that may haunt them and make them feel uneasy and restless. It is difficult to say the real cause why some people have rebirth memories. Perhaps it is the pain that they might have gone through in the past life that gets associated with the current life. For some it can be immense love which they miss and try to search for in their new birth. Still for others it can be a sort of unfulfilled desires that did not get appeased and the mind tries to recollect and pursue. Mind is very powerful. Still it cannot be said how accurately it can relate to past life experiences with the present life memories. Perhaps it varies from individual to individual. There are some lucky ones who have been able to trace their rebirth memories and had pleasure to meet their loved ones. It is not so with all. Some have remained restless but could figure out nothing. Some could visit the place or house that they could recall just to get dismayed. As time passed everything was either deserted or in ashes.
Past life memories and effects on personality development
When we talk about an individual's personality we mean his/her capacity or ability to mix up or get along well with the people, friends and the society. How does the past life memories affect an individual's growth? We cannot deny the fact that when we try to portray an individual we try to watch and study his/her characteristics and qualities. When a person has past life memories, his/her curiosity increases. The memories may impel them to study events, people or understand things. They may try to analyze, synthesize things, they may try to recall small bits, put them together and try to understand the total contexts and meanings. Past life memories have psychological effects. Each emotion within us sends a different instruction to the brain and thereafter to the limbs, face, muscles, autonomic system, etc. We react differently each time. Likewise the ability to recall any long term memory has effects on the personality development of an individual. A person can become restless, they may get an impulse to visit the place or meet some people who are there in the torrent of their memories. If some one has a shocking memory stored, he/she may get depressed or fearful about small things in life. If the memories are vivid it is seen that the person is unable to completely accept the current family, people or the situation. They may exhibit some such emotional reactions that may be very undesirable or hurting. Still some may show anxiety due to the mental and emotional conflicts or frustrations. The frustrations can be because of not being able to get along well with the two sets of emotions phase (past and present ). These situations can make a person introvert. The person may feel more comfortable in a dreamy state of mind or when left alone. Some may become submissive, not being able to share anything with others.
Past life memories and impacts on the present life
When a person gets psychologically affected, his / her behavior is likely to be regulated by the emotional state. How this happens can be illustrated with examples. If a child has some rebirth memories and wants to meet the people he / she will constantly nag the mother or father to do so. This behavior of the child may upset the parents, spoil their regular schedule. The parents may be hesitant regarding the consequences or cost of travel. It is a difficult situation as talking about rebirth memories in front of some (not all ) people can be humiliating, meaningless or unpleasant. One aspect is that the child meets the loved ones, recognizes them and they have no problem and welcome him / her whole heartedly. At the end of it, the child may suffer a conflict when he / she may want to stay back. He /she is likely to get upset due to the weird reactions shown by some of the members. The other aspect is that, the current parents may not want to leave the child. Things are likely to get complicated than sorted out. When the child decides not to visit the place again and is satisfied, recovers from depression and comfortable to stay with the current life parents, it is indeed the best decision taken.
The next example is slightly different. If a person decides to pursue a place that often haunts him, what will he/she do? He / she will be excited, will lose energy unnecessarily. Strong feelings of the past life may inculcate many expectations in the mind. Many researches have been done when such people have returned to their past life residence, just to find it deserted and also at times in crumbles. More introspection about the locality and the house with the locals could only help them learn that the last heir after the father's death migrated to some other place many decades back! Such an event can put a person in utter depression and dismay. Sudden realization that there is no perspective control over time in the entire situation may leave a person broken and torn from inside. This situation can leave a person shattered. He / She may take time to accept the changes in values, beliefs and to revert back to normal life again.
Yet there may be a different situation. Let me illustrate this with the example of a girl, who had often been disturbed by the torrent of past life memories from an early time ( 2-3 years ) of somebody who loved her dearly. She remained disturbed till she became 24 years of age. She could recall the place, the house and the man. She decided to take the help of her fiancée to sort out the problem. She wanted to get freed of the strong invisible love bonds before marriage. She reached the place and knocked the house. An obese man over 55 years came out and asked, whom she wanted to meet. She could not answer as her eyes were stuck on the big family photo hung on the wall of the verandah. She could recognize herself and thought that the man by her side was the same obese person at the door! She failed to co-relate and hurried out of the house. The event made her very upset, she did not know why. To help her out of the situation the fiancée enquired about the resident of the house where she had visited from the neighbours. He was amazed to learn that the obese man had lost his wife just 2 years after marriage in a road accident about 30 years back and did not marry ever again. Slowly the girl could comprehend the situation, felt very guilty to have run away from a dear person just because she could not commit to him in the current life. She had a tough time to come out of the situation. Some type of guilt within, made her restless and depressed. She always felt she did not do justice with the obese man. She finally decided to postpone her marriage and meet the obese man. She talked over the issue with him just to learn that he believed that her story was a crap. It seemed he was habituated and satisfied with the memories. What happened to her then? She returned in a shocked stage. She suffered a total emotional-breakdown. She struggled hard to get out of the situation. She had to take the help of a counselor and a therapist to learn to leave things behind.
Past life memories and management
1. Self recognition – After a person's struggle with the past memories comes to a conclusion or an end, it is almost time for him / her to recognize himself/herself more clearly. Self recognition helps to develop energy and enthusiasm needed for the life ahead. It also gives momentum to the future growth of an individual. It helps to build self confidence needed to face many challenges ahead. It gives hope. It is hope that helps the person to endure many immediate problems. It is very important for a person to rediscover oneself.
2. Motivation – Motivation is the key to a successful lifestyle. Motivation is the interest, enthusiasm or likeness to perform a particular activity. Motivation gives contentment and it is also enjoyable. When a person gets into a situation which is puzzling his / her motivation may decrease. Loss of motivation may lead to a dull, dark life. It may also lead to depression. In such situations the extrinsic motivation may suffer but the intrinsic motivation is low. A person in such cases may even suffer and have low self esteem. Counselors help can help a person come out of all these problems. They help to explore one's strong qualities while engaging him / her in plays, work and other activities of interest. They motivate these people to think, plan and figure out what wonderful things they would want to do in life. The forces that tend to reduce the positive drives are slowly made to disappear.
3. Behavior therapy – Behavior therapy is useful to let a person come out of negative feelings or thoughts in the quickest possible way. At times, it may take long. Positive thinking and behavior is reinforced in a caring way so that there occurs a reduction in the anxiety level. Teachings and observations run parallel till there is much improvement and motivation seen. A successful behavior therapy leads to increased appetite, food consumption and increased physical activity of the person. These are the healthy signs which show that the person is reverting back to normal life.
4. Stress management – Stress and strain are a part of life. Stress may not be only physical, it can be emotional or psychological too. The past life memories may make a person exhausted psychologically or emotionally. It should not be left unattended. It may make a person restless, depressed, broken and at time lead to serious consequences. Psychological stress can arise from frustrations and conflicts going on in the mind. It often leads to psychosomatic symptoms like muscle tensions, headaches, bodyaches, feeling anxious or irritable. There can be a difficulty in concentration or ability to think. These changes can be associated with psychological changes in emotions, motivations or cognitions. A therapist can be of great help to let a person get rid of all types of stress and strain causing discomfort in life.
5. Adjustment – To understand adjustment. It is more important to understand the human nature and psychology. Adjustment is a normal phenomenon in everyone's life. All of us are in constant struggle with some or other sort of adjustment in life. Adjustment is a normal process. The memories may remind and make an individual realize that he / she was a different person in the past. Yet it is normal and important to adjust with the current life situation. This can be achieved with the help of the family support, warm friends and loved ones. It is best to interact with one self, with the family members, friends and other people. The more one interacts the more he / she becomes comfortable. There is change in the inner feelings, thoughts and behavior.
6. Counseling to parents and family – A person's behavior is largely controlled by the environment of his / her home or the surroundings. So, counseling to the family becomes mandatory. The role of parents and family is important. Understanding parents and supportive family plays a great role in helping these people get out of the situation normally and happily. Love and togetherness of the near and dear ones adds to the enthusiasm of these people to achieve many goals in the future. Accepting attitude wards away insecurities. The child or the affected person should be given adequate time to think and express oneself. Aggression should be avoided. Unnecessary lectures should not be given.
I conclude with words that say, 'life' means the 'present'. We neither have full-control over the 'past' nor the 'future'. It is important to live in the 'present' whole heartedly, happily and lovingly. We should choose to live every moment cautiously than carelessly, finding fulfillment in whatever life gives to us.
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