How to help your child to make good friends


Want your child to know how to develop a good friendship? To help your child to build good friends in school, you must give him the freedom to explore friends, giving importance to the friendship issue and telling them to quit friendships with those with bad addictions.

If you remember your childhood days, you often relate to the moments spent with your friends. You met several friends of different characters, nature, temperament and moods. Some friends helped you to grow emotionally and intellectually. Some of your friends only enjoyed with you, while some still some of your friends even criticized you but helped you at the same time. You sometimes even felt disappointed when your friends discussed about something that you were not aware of or did not possess it. Some friends discussed about Star TV programs, visiting abroad, purchasing something lavish etc and if you belonged to a middle-class family, you were not lucky enough to enjoy such pleasures. So, how did you react to such situations? Some of us literally cry from within, while some of them leave the friend's group. But some of them even quarrel with the friends because they thought that these friends are behaving arrogantly. But later on in life we realize that these issues are frivolous. After some years, we hear back the same stories from our children. Then we can handle their situations even in a better way. If you narrated your problems to your mother or father, perhaps, they told you to leave the friend's circle. So, how would you handle the same situations?


Tips to help your child to make good friends

Do not impose your child in terms of creating friends

Your children should be given liberty to make friends according to their own choice. Usually parents expect their children to develop friendship with those children who live in their locality or belonging to same caste or economic status. We commonly hear that wealthier people may expect that their children should make friendship with the child who belong to a wealthy family only. But sometimes even middle-class people expect that their children should create friendship with people who belong to middle-class only. They think that rich children are always spoiled brats or they do not possess any manners. The parents should not interfere in such matters unless the child state that they are experiencing problems due to their behavior. Your child should explore the world and realize the characteristics of people around them. If you impose restrictions, then they may not be happy with the friend of your choice and finally the level of interaction between them may be very poor. For eg. if your child comes to you stating that he or she is unhappy because his or her friend was behaving arrogantly and hence your child is feeling hurt. If your child's friend has swindled your child because your family does not possess a recent model television at home and hence if your child is feeling hurt, then take your child in a room and discuss with your child. Help your child to resolve your problem by teaching your child to convince your friend. Let your child clearly, firmly and yet with a normal mood tell his or her friend that after some years even their parents can afford to buy a quality television set. Now they are struggling to earn income and tomorrow, they can also flourish. Let the child also firmly state his or her friend should not poke fun about any family. Even if the problem persists, then one fine day, you can personally interact with the child or parents of the child. But let your child interact as much as he or she can. Your child should state to his or her friend, that he or she should be comfortable with your child if she or he believes in friendship.

Do not consider friendship as a frivolous issue

Most of the parents consider that education is only a significant issue of children. Then only discuss about their children about homework, classwork, assignments and remarks in school. Apart from these issue, they should spend sometime discussing about their friends also. Your child should develop good friends in school because children often develop emotionally and intellectually when they are happy with their friends. If your child is not able to get along with children of his or her age, then you must seriously help your child to create friendship. Children explore the world even effectively, when they are in a friend's circle. They can discover their personality and their potential only if they make friends. If your child is shy, then you must meet people from the neighborhood and create friends for your child. A mother or father can become social and make friends as much as possible, so that the children can follow them and begin making friends. The parents should show the child that how pleasurable it is to make friends and hence the child can follow the parents.

When should you tell your child to forget their friends

Even if the child experiences problems with the child, you must not tell your child to quit the friend. But under circumstances, you must instruct your child to leave a friend's circle or a friend. The friend may be addicted to some vices such as excessively watching television, driving bike at a high speed, eating or chewing unhealthy edibles. Also, the parents of the child may be supporting child's behavior. Such friends do not help your child grow emotionally or intellectually, but can spoil your child. Your child may lose control and may become reckless. So, your child should not stay with such friends.


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Comments

Author: Sharmistha Panda25 Feb 2016 Member Level: Gold   Points : 5

The article is helpful to the parents especially with children who face problems of socializing and are not able to get along well with friends and relatives.
However, in my opinion, matters of financial nature like parents struggling now and that tomorrow would flourish and would buy a better TV etc should not be discussed with children, specially with the younger children. Young minds might take up things in a different way. These discussion may dampen down their confidence as well. Such matters can be put in some other way like appreciating the good things that we have and the friend is not having. Every family might not be having the best things every time and there might also be some good things that this child has and his friend does not have.

Author: Kailash Kumar27 Feb 2016 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 4

Generally the students get automatically differentiated on the basis of level of affluence of their parents at the time of selection of schools. The parents who can afford to pay fee of more expensive schools, prefer to go for the better brand only. Thus within a school the students generally belong to a particular narrow band of economic backgrounds only. Another basis of cluster formation is based on the academic performance of the children. Generally back benchers create a group of their own until and unless there are other common denominators like being member of a game/sports team.
Friends have a very important role to play in an students development and future outcomes. Friends can make or mar one's future career.
The parents must pay due attention to the company their children keep and continuously monitor their activities.

Author: K Mohan07 Jan 2017 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 1

As a parent it is a very good habit to inculcate making good friendships by your children. Normally children wont like other children that easily and they would be on warpath sometimes. But some children are really shrewd and move with the new children as if they are known to each other in the past. Such children would mingle with each other and they would even compromise to share the toys and other playing games to that child. This major difference in your child is the example of his making good friendship for the future. One more thing never interfere in to the small issues between the child and if the adults get involved, then the matter would turn uglier. So never mix up adult relations with that of child relations.



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