Essay on love, self respect and ego

The lessons on love, self respect and ego are discussed in a unconventional context in this article. This article aims to bring in a different perspective on things which we already know and reanalyzing the definition in today's context. The spiritual dimension of love, self respect and ego is articulated for readers to reflect upon in their own life.

Times have changed where technologies are getting smarter and better every day. Networking and connecting with people across the world were just a dream few decades ago and now we have virtual reality. Technology has advanced bombastically but has the quality of human relations improved? The humanness and the measure of humanity is love. But is love of today, really a love at all?

With the world split into male chauvinist and feminism, bloodshed fighting religion against another while no one is certain of God, Politician plays power while the gap between the rich and poor widens. Where is love?


Love is taught by society throughout schools. As child, we are told to love our parents, teachers, neighbors, friends, relatives and so on. We were never taught how to hate anybody but looking at the world, hatred is overflowing all over. How is it possible when something is taught, the opposite becomes reality?

At first place, we should understand that love cannot be taught. It is a individualistic growth from within. One cannot teach a seed to become plant. It will have to transform on its own. Likewise, we earn the capacity to learn in our individualistic transformation through our experiences. More you teach the world love, hatred is pronounced!

Stop teaching love; rather explore your inner capacity of love. Deep within there is hollowness, where can the love breed of you? Fill your cup first and let it overflow. You cannot love as long as you understand self love. A man who has not understood self love has not understood love at all. All we have is knowledge of love but no experience of it.

We know the rules of love that it has to be unconditional, giving, forgiving, and caring and so on. We just know the traits of love told to us. But do love the same way? We try to demonstrate these traits while expressing love which is nothing more than pretension. We imagine of ideal love and replicate from mental picture into our expressed behavior. There is neither depth nor truth in it. Whereas our anger is real, we don't idealize how to be angry. How to hit someone, kick or stab yet people learnt. They don't pretend to be angry when they are angry, they are just angry! While our love looks so beautiful, caring yet within we know it is only an expected behavior from ourselves. So love yourself first, your self-love should overflow that you start loving others unconditionally.


Self-Respect is most commonly used word but misunderstood mostly. Self respect is not having pride or ego about oneself. Invariably, every modern dictionary defines it as being proud of who you are and you feeling as worthy individual. But is that really self-respect all about?
Look at the word 'respect'; it is two words 'Re' and 'Spect'. Spect is to see, Respect is to see again. But see what? Each individual comes across several moments of truth, hard times, experiences various emotions, twists and turns, the decisions he made, the choices he had, the ambiguity he passed through, his childhood messages, his social fabrics and all had made the person today who he is.

Whoever you are, wherever you have reached now is because of all these experiences put together. It is the collective summation of our own making of experiences. When we realize the path we have crossed through, a deep sense of gratitude, love and surrender appears from within. This sense of gratitude and love is not towards anything but for everything. An emotion of sincere thanks to life itself! This feeling is respect. This feeling when you experience on your own, it is self respect. It is a sign of wisdom and true love for life!


The spiritual dimension of Ego is really amazing. Spirituality sees everything in terms of energy. There are chakras in our body which are the energy centers and the flow of energy between the centers reveals a lot about the person's spiritual pursuit and every other dimension of life such as health, sex, emotions, etc. There are patterns of energy flow in every individual based on what food he eats, how one leads his emotions and so on.

Now let us understand what ego is. If we look at the words related to deep and hearty matters such as emotions, empathy, ego etc, we will observe that they all have letter 'e'. This 'e' is energy. So when we say emotion, it really means energy in motion. Our emotions are various feelings towards the experiences we have with a situation. Our sadness, happiness, anger and fear are all natural emotions. They are common feelings and learnt on our own but there are some feelings which are unnatural and have been injected into sub-consciousness such as guilt, ego etc. Psychologists have now shown that guilt or ego is all byproducts of our social construct & fabrics and our childhood messages etc.

While the natural emotions make a certain pattern in our energy centers, it is an expression of energy center. Even anger and sadness are good for human being to balance themselves. Whereas the unnatural emotion ego has the capacity to harm, destroy the potential of all the energy centers of the body. It is so harmful that it should be taken out of us. It should go away from us. Ego is that unnatural emotion which is so harmful that must go outside our system. Ego is energy that must go!

Explore the reality:

As we mature we tend to realize that most of the things that we believed as truth were indeed untrue. The heart-wrecking experience that one has to undergo for unlearning what has been learnt in order to relearn with one's own responsibility is the beginning of reality exploration in life. The journey is not easy, not for weak hearts and is full of excitement as you are responsible for your doings and un-doings. Let us look life once again with the innocence of child, we have possibility to wonder on things and regain our lost self.

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Author: Ramachandran Pattabiraman20 Apr 2016 Member Level: Diamond   Points : 2

Good posting! Good order! Once love is superseded by self respect the love get diminished. Once ego creeps in even slightly the total self respect and love will get polluted and vanish from a human being. In animals, we can see love in them (as dog/cat circle us when we love them; a cow has no hesitation in offering milk to humans) and without any self respect or ego in them but in humans only we see ego, self-respect and love. So, preventing the ego and self respect in human is inevitable for love.

Author: Kailash Kumar20 Apr 2016 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 4

Love is natural. Neither it needs any schooling, nor can it be taught. However hatred is not a natural trait and requires teaching and training by brain washing the natural trait of love. There are many fanatic organizations who teach innocent and gullible people not only hatred, but violence and terrorism also.
Self respect or self esteem comes through winning by hard work. Basic moral virtues are to be taught to the children through leading by example. It is real, whereas ego is false or fake. Ego acts like a valve and closes the process of learning. A egoist can have only a stunted growth like a bonsai.

Author: Swati Sarnobat25 Mar 2017 Member Level: Gold   Points : 2

These traits are not taught to the people but should be explored by each one of us because they are already present within us. Each of us are born with ego, but we should regulate our ego so that ego is converted into self-respect. When we discover love, then the unnecessary ego is vanished away.

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