Nowadays this culture of treating guests like god may still hold somewhat true in villages but in cities it is totally opposite now. People mainly in big cities now consider guests more as "Demons" instead of "God". So what has changed in all these days and what is responsible for the change in the perception towards guests? Well reason can be many and both hosts and guests are some way responsible towards change in the perception. Let me make it clear that whatever I am going to discuss may not be applicable to all the guests. Here I am just highlighting what is seen nowadays with many of the guests. Again here in my article when I say guest in this article it means close or near close relatives of a family. Let us have look at few factors responsible for this change in attitude.
Reasons behind unwelcome attitude towards guests
This is in sharp contrast to olden days when relatives who used to visit as guests used to fully mingle with their host family and stay as if it was their own home. Ladies in guest family extended all possible help in household work to the ladies of guest family and they stayed and enjoyed together. With this attitude host family never felt that guests were a burden to them.
Seldom do guests nowadays like to stay within the house and have fun eating, sitting, talking and socializing nowadays. Prime expectation from guests has become that hosts should take them out. Again this is in pretty contrast to olden days when guest's expectation was not to roam about but to have fun with host family by enjoying within boundaries of the house.
To make it clear with example guests visit their hosts in Mumbai and they visit nearby places like Pune, Lonavala, Mahabaleshwar etc and return back to their home town hardly spending satisfactory time with the hosts. This further gives feeling of selfishness on part of the guests and host feels that guest is visiting them not for social bonding but for making tour to nearby places and hence hosts do not feel like welcoming the guests.
Hence due to this people have not kept bandwidth for entertaining guests and making them feel welcome as they cannot tolerate interference in their machine type life. Yes, people nowadays do not like when guests visit their place as it would mean they have to spend some time, effort and money towards them and most of them do not like it.
So to summarise there has been change in behaviour on part of both hosts and guests in modern days which has given rise to this trend of "guests not preferred" by many households. There are many points on which guests need to improve regarding their behaviour and attitude. Hosts also need to do the same and accommodate some time for guests.
I have heard from my father that in earlier days, near and distant relatives used to come to our ancestral home during festivals and marriages and stayed even for one month. Even during my childhood, during late seventies and early eighties, relatives used to come to stay for seven days or so. We felt very elated whenever our relatives used to visit us. We never bothered to think about invasion of privacy, space crunch, disturbance in study, financial difficulty etc. Visit of relatives was a great occasion for all of us.
With the passage of time, the family values and concept of kith and kin are dwindling. Nowadays we want to live in a segregated island. Our world revolves around our friends, colleagues, wife/husband and one child or two children. Even parents have no value for us, leave aside the relatives. Although the author has given various reasons, the only reason I find behind this unfortunate phenomenon is that we have become and are becoming more and more selfish. We only understand the value of relatives or real friends at the fag end of our life, when we ourselves are neglected by the newer generation. But, at that time, we don’t find anybody to stand beside us.
Concluding my response, I thank the author for giving us the opportunity to discuss this relevant issue which has become acute due to erosion of family values.
A very relevant topic on today's world dealt in an experienced way. I totally agree with the author that now people are now reluctant to have any guest in their home. The author has already counted a number of reason for this reluctant attitude of people. One of the most important reasons is that now every family has some limited space in their home and the family members adjust themselves according to it. But whenever a guest visits the house they feel uncomfortable because of the new comer. Children and teens in the house get irritated and troubled because they are supposed to behave properly before the guest person. They feel like encroachment of their freedom.