IntroductionThe most essential entities required for a healthy relationship to build up are trust and honesty. There cannot be a room for secret when two people are in an intimate relationship. All the secrets have to get revealed and there should be immense trust between the couple which will make bond more stronger. The stronger the bond is, more longer relationship lasts. Honesty is nothing but disclosing everything that has already taken place or the events which are taking place in the present. There should not be any scope for misleading the partner by giving misinformation. Telling the truth does not mean that we need to be rude to hurt our partners. It is not at all unkind act and there is no need to show any sort of aggressiveness while doing the same. Trust and honesty in a relationship help it to blossom and flourish well.
Tips for having honest and trustworthy relationship
Conversation is a very essential part of any relationship and if conversation is open then it helps relationship to flourish very well. Discussing important events and having a meaningful conversation on daily basis should be a routine. As and when issues or difficulties crop up, discuss them then and there itself. Postponing them to discuss later in life can only ruin a healthy relationship. On daily basis, set aside some time to discuss regarding the daily events which take place. Things often get out of control when one or both the partners start hiding things. Talk about the issues when they are still fresh, irrespective of whether an issue is a huge trouble maker or else simply a misunderstanding. Just clear it by having a conversation with your partner.
Healthy relationship does not only mean that we need to be honestly open with our partner. Our partner too will do the same and thus we need to accept the honesty that is directed towards us in the form of a feedback. We all have different point of views. We cannot make others to believe what we believe or make them act in a way that we feel is right. It is alright for our partner to have beliefs of his own. Listen to them carefully and try to fit in their shoes. Only then we will be able to understand their point of views. Listening will help us understand their thoughts and feelings about us. Arguing is not going to make us sound any better and it is of no use too. Just concentrate on the truth which is directed towards us by our partners. This kind of positive feedback is essential for us to build a healthy relationship and one should always keep the scope where both can mature and change if really necessary.
During feedback if we act like a victim or criticize our partner, get angry or simply argue then we are programming our partner to not share the truth in future and even if he does then he will sugarcoat everything so that we do not feel bad for the same. He may simply deceive us by hiding the truth. It is up to us that how well we take criticism. Either we can take it with positive attitude or simply become defensive, punishing and show too many reactions. Hearing truth is the scariest part of honesty and taking it with positive attitude means that we respect our partners for what they think about us. There is no need to get scared. Truth and honesty are only going to bring couples together.
If we desire a healthy relationship then we along with our partners should learn to resist getting judgmental. This quality prevents us from having an open conversation. We cannot afford to become judgmental and listen to what our partner is saying. We cannot have a real talk with him/her regarding any issue if we get judgmental about anything and everything. Neither of us will be able to have an open conversation because either we will become too defensive or we will shut down completely. We need to remain non-judgmental to allow honesty flow forth.
There is no point in getting defensive about flaws. We all are not perfect and thus we carry some flaws. It is okay to point out at them and accept that they come with us. If we are able to correct them then we should do our best to rectify. If by any chance they cannot be corrected then learn to accept them in life. Self acceptance is the most important thing and also acceptance from partner too is very essential. Love and support from a partner can help to live life supremely. When we start revealing our flaws or shortcomings to our partner, it also in turn starts preparing us subconsciously to reveal big secrets of our life. It is like a head start or first kick to a vehicle. Flaws can be anything that can be our ego problem, an anger problem, that we are bad at cooking, we are lazy or simply that we are a lousy driver. As trust builds up, couples will become more and more honest with each other as acceptance will no longer pose a problem in their case. They will then be able to share anything and everything that is taking place in their life without any fear or hesitation.
As mentioned earlier, honesty does not mean that we need to be rude to our partners and say everything aggressively by hurting their feelings. We need not be cruel to them. No doubt that each and every person is accompanied with certain flaws. When we do not discuss about the things which are bothering us then we will soon start building a case against them. This kind of attitude of ours is only going to make their flaws look exaggerated to us. There is no need to grow cynical. Relationship is not always about getting lured with attraction, warmth, closeness etc. There will be lots of reactions, especially defensive ones are encountered the most when flaws get discussed. We need to learn to be polite and vulnerable. There is no need to attack or try to be critical. Just discuss what is in the mind and what is bothering us from a long period of time. Our honesty is enough to resolve the whole issue. If our intentions are right then nothing can go wrong. Try to be as open as possible. No matter how made up or weird the statements look, but open conversation is the best conversation one can encounter with their partner. This kind of vulnerability will increase intimacy and closeness in a relationship.
Initially there will be lots of attraction, tenderness, care and love towards each other in a relationship. As time passes, these things seem to decrease. Words which indicate love and tenderness are just told to each other without meaning anything much or things which are supposed to be done together are just carried out i.e., real meaning behind the words or deeds is somewhere forgotten. Spark goes away when we replace substance with form. There is no point in showing love with words or by doing things together when the real feelings aren't coming out from heart. This is not an honest way of relating. Still being together but we start experiencing distance from each other and thereby start losing interest in our partner. Our actions must match our words. Otherwise there is no point in relating. When we express love in words, it must come from our heart. When we spend time with our partner then the purpose should be to really spend some quality time and not just because we have been doing this since long time.
Though honesty was not an issue a few decades back but has become much more complicated in these days. We have become lot sensitive especially when someone addresses our flaws and criticizes us. We do not expect this thing from our partners and when truth comes from them then it is the worst thing we can ever expect. Same is true for our partner too. These kinds of honest talks can be a little tiring. It drains out a lot of emotions and thus we try every possible thing to avoid them. Instead of avoiding them altogether, just take a break. It is the best option to refill the drained energy. This free time which we take will help us to cool down before another confrontation takes place. It is the best possible measure one can adopt to cool down and then return back whenever one feels ready.
ConclusionIt is very easy to talk about honesty and trust in relationships but quite hard to adopt them and take relationship to an altogether different level. Above mentioned tips help us to develop a trustworthy and honest relationship with our partner and solve all our trust issues with each other. Honesty and trust cannot merely be words to us so that we can give up on them very easily in the light of a crisis. These are the oaths we must take to keep our relationship alive and flourishing. This is because both longevity and health of a relationship depends upon how trustworthy and honest we are with our partners and vice versa. To know more such tips go through Tips to build trust and honesty in a relationship: Part-2.