Introduction The relationship between husband and wife is a lovely one but it is like a glass bowl which needs to be handled carefully. A small ignorance or mistake can make it shatter into pieces. It is rightly said that sound is produced only when both the hands are clapped together. Similarly, to create or to avoid an issue, both the husband and wife play equal roles. We have seen people blaming "he/she is at fault". I would say, both are at fault, one person for making the mistake and the other for not preventing it from happening. Listen, marriage is not a one-man show, you both are required to put in sacrifices, responsibilities, adjustments etc. Through this article, I am briefing about the five common mistakes couples make, which can make their life miserable.
Conclusion None can be a perfect spouse, everyone has their own flaws and good qualities. People are different, some may have patience but some are short-tempered, some will be active and a few may be lazy. Like that there are many factors that differentiate each individual. The first thing we need to learn is to accept our spouse as they are. Remember their mistakes can be corrected. There is no other medicine better than love, use it to change your partner and to make him/her as the perfect partner you want to have. Never compare your life or your partner with the next door neighbor as I said above, not everyone is the same. Your partner might have some qualities that the neighbor's partner does not have. Finding those and be proud of it. Also, appreciate your spouse for accepting you, as even you are not perfect. Communication is the core element. Even if it is a small issue, talk to each other and sort it at the initial stage itself rather than letting it develop and grow out of control.
In any relationship, there would be arguments and disagreements, it is taken to the next level only if both parties are adamant and stick to their grounds. At such times, it is important to remember that at least one partner has to have the maturity to back off for sometime, allow the other person to vent out their feelings and then take up the issue after a few days. Some may not like the idea of a compromise or backing off but this practically is the one of the keys to a success in the long run.
Focusing on the negatives is sadly a human trait that is difficult to get rid off. In our jobs, at home, even at school, good deeds or behaviour is not acknowledged as easily or as quickly as being pulled up for mistakes and faults. Similarly, in a marriage, it is common to highlight the negatives of each other, again, here people have to make a conscious effort to look beyond and nurture what is good in each other and the relationship.
A long successful marriage means a long list of small sacrifices and a lot of give and take. In a marriage, one cannot be too rigid, authoritative or demanding. Many men who are used to being 'obeyed' without questions by their own family members or at their workplaces. Such people often expect the same thing at home after getting married and find it hard to accept that they have to adjust and the other person in the marriage is also equally important. The responsibilities that marriage brings in needs to be shared and supported by each other.
It is far more easy to complain than to understand the husband or wife, this gets worse especially if one of them is passive during arguements and fights. Often, as the marriage goes on, complaints are on the rise with love and affection slowly becoming less and less. This is one of the early signs that the marriage is not all that rosy. Both partners should take time to have a holiday, a dinner, a short break for the stress of life so that they can renew the old spark between them.
I'm glad that the author has brought out the last point well. Even a child does not want to be scolded in front of his or her friends. They feel embarrassed, imagine the same with the husband or wife often scolding, passing sarcastic remarks against their spouses in the presence of friends or relatives or servants at home. With this the person suffering gives up hope in the marriage and just lives on for the sake of children or pressure from their parents etc.
The basic trick is to treat the spouse as a friends, give them their space and their identity within the family and outside. Focus on the bond between both and the good qualities rather than each others deficiencies because nobody is perfect, so are marriages also.