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*How Hot Is It In Hell??
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*How Hot Is It In Hell?? True Story*
A thermodynamics professor had written atake home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question:
“Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof.”
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are
added. This gives two possibilities:
#1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
#2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan
during my Freshman year, “That it will be a cold night in Hell before I
sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and
so Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
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