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  • Category: Mental Health

    I am in confused about my life

    Confused about what to do in life? Searching for solutions online? Check out this page for answers and resolve your confusion.

    I am in great confusion. Give me some advice.
    I did my graduation in 2013(ECE). I had lot of interest in technical field. So I thought of doing Masters in my field. I prepared for GATE through coaching institute and gave test in 2014. But I scored low marks.
    So I thought of giving again exam in 2015. Again got low score and was not getting admission in any university or college.
    So I started preparing for govt. exams.I gave lot of exams but failed by few margin.So after lot of frustration I left preparing for exams and thought of going abroad in 2016.
    I applied for the University and got accepted and got visa. I was happy that I was selected since my cousins are doing the same program in the same university. But after 2 days negative thoughts started coming in my mind and I became depressed for 4 days.Then I got ok, but I am feeling that I have lost interest of studying abroad.
    I don't know what is happening with me. I became bored of everything and it is really worrying me that in this way I will not succeed in life. I was always good in studies.I worry a lot about my future.I want to change my mindset. Earlier I was ignoring to go abroad .But now I had no option but to go with them.
    Can you provide guidance?
    Awaiting response.
  • Answers

    7 Answers found.
  • First of all you be positive and life is precious and enjoy it. study and job is not everything in life. cool down and think what is your core competency, what are the other options available to earn the livelihood.You may go for private jobs. You may prepare for competitions such as CGL-combined graduate level examination conducted by SSC every year for group B and Group C central govt. services. There are many examination conducted by UPSC and state PSC, try them. Pursue MA/M.Sc, B.Ed/NET and go for teaching. Or take loan and start your own business. There are thousands of options, listen to your inner self and take steps in the right direction.

    The greatest wealth in this world is mental peace and good health.

  • To have satisfaction with your possessions you are having currently may not offer you mental peace since achievements and the mental -status vary widely. Failure in a few occasions are the normal phenomena in life and such failures don't mean a complete failure in your mission.
    As indicated by you, you had been good in your studies so at least this a favourable point in restoration of your past confidence.
    Once you contemplate the plans sincerely, a clear but a positive idea would emerge and you will be filled with inner joy by attaining the same.
    Think of the present plan of going abroad. Would you feel guilty later on or would you like to have some change in the current decision? Your main purpose should be diffuse the prevailing tension and once you come out of it, there are many options which will suit you.
    You may try for the UPSC examination so that you may become IAS or if interested you may join in a private Engineering College as a lecturer. You can go ahead for the preparation of PO examination being conducted by the Nationalised Banks.
    The only thing is to identify your field where you would be comfortable.

  • It seems you are going through decision fatigue. And this happens when you have too many constraints on your decisions. You have to get your thinking in clear order in order to get out of this feeling. For example, you are applying for offshore study and work. And this means a new much improved chapter in your life. And you have to accept a lot of changes in order to get there. This includes staying away from parents, your country, friends, relatives, native language, food and other things. If you get over this feeling then you'd be much more open to the new changes that it could bring you. Note that many people stay here because they don't welcome these sort of changes. And then their growth becomes limited.

    So think positive about studying abroad. And take some risks. Because taking risks now has more benefits later. And it also set you at much better financial condition as time goes on.

    If you still have dilemma of going abroad, then you can take 1 year break. Either do job here or continue and study for some government job. Do some brainstorming during this period. And then decide where you want to go. Whatever you choose, be firm with your choice. Because you have to live with those choices. And that's how the life is going to get better.

  • "Don't cry over the spilt (split) milk" is an age old adage. I want to remind you about this now. Let us not try to find blame on anything now. D not regret about anything. You have to start with a strong will power and to happen to you.
    Go to a movie with friends or relatives, sleep well. You may be having a fresh and clear mind to take right decision. However even after that you feel confused, then, I am suggesting an action plan for you. You may think on it, discuss with your real well wishers and then take the decision.
    1. Stop the dilly-dallying. Take a concrete decision and work to achieve that.
    2. Take in confidence those who are your real well wishers and who have or were ready to spend money for your overseas studies. Ask their advice on this matter. Assess how much will be the loss if you do not join. Are they ready to absorb that loss?
    3. Contact your cousin studying abroad and get positive confidence from now on. Just tell yourself that all this happened because there is something better his suggestions and opinion also.
    4. Somehow you got the admission as you were interested. Now what is the real reason of your disinterest? Find the real answer for that.
    5. If you are sure you cannot complete the studies successfully, and then leave that idea. And get a job immediately, whatever that is.
    6. If that is your decision, then assure those who spent for you that you will be repaying the amount from your salary
    7. Involve yourself fully with all sincerity in the job. That will help you away from negative thoughts as you will be busy and involved.
    8. Mingle with your colleagues and relatives well. You will become fresh soon.
    9. Keep contact with your old classmates. Get from them about better opportunities in job. Leave one job only after getting a better one.
    10. Be realistic, keep only unrealistic immediate goals, but work hard for realizing them. Step by step you can achieve great heights.
    It will be just about six months when you will have a new direction and confidence to forge ahead. Til that time do not worry, but feel happy and content keeping confidence and sincere focused work.

  • Friend, don't get confused. Throw away the negative thoughts from your mind. If necessary, meditate to enable yourself to focus and concentrate. If you don't believe in meditation, visit a counsellor and act according to his/her advice.

    Do a quiet introspection. Try to understand what do you want to do in life. Whatever you do, give it 100%. Plan in advance and work according to the plan. Make a plan for six months and work accordingly.

    Work hard with honesty, zeal and planning. Success will be yours!

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • Thinking always positive is one way of becoming success all the time. This becomes when a person faces failures and wants to try again to win the situation again and again to confirm his success. Most probably this happens for most of the students who wants to continue to
    study for a Higher education when they do not get admitted in the local and can secure admission in other country to pursue their higher education.
    You have completed your graduation successfully in the year 2013 in the ECE field. Since its a engineering your thinking also seems professional by trying to study a higher education in the same field ECE. GATE exams sometimes needs preparation heavy from the start of the
    first year of engineering if the person wishes to get admission in the merit. At least clear understanding of the subject is also a good way of clearing and studying is a practice that keeps a person to win the score in the GATE exam. Its requires more practice and its possible to
    get good scores after two to three attempts if the duration for preparation is short time. Some of the persons achieved good scores in the GATE exam is after a solid preparation for at least four years from the day they entered the Engineering college and they keep themselves update
    in the Engineering field.
    So its a good try and you have made two attempts. Government exams also require practice and general knowledge to clear those successful exams since the marks required for the job is high nowadays due to the population in the graduation is more. So no need to worry about since
    your trying has been successful.
    These attempts made you understand the field of your own interest. Going abroad will the aim of most persons who cleared their GATE and secured a job in the company and working for few years and then going abroad based on the assignment.
    You have got in advance by securing admission and visa to the country where your cousins are studying in the university. There will be guidance from your cousins since they are already studying in that university so there are person to care for you and clear your mind of doubts and pave
    the way for the solutions of your doubted mind. They might have came across the situation of yours and they also have made wise decisions by choosing abroad for education.

    Anyway your aim is to achieve for a Higher education even if you have cleared the GATE exam. Probably you have achieved your aim by abroad admission and visa. Understand the situation of yours clearly and get cleared. Abroad universities need a little hard work since you have to do all
    your work by your self. If its a PG means it will require a three subjects or four subjects per semester if your visa is granted for two years. There will be a lot of time and you can even choose to work as a part time based on the country of your visa. Most of the countries allow international
    students to work for at least 20 hours per week as a part time job while studying. It will be like you are with a job along with your education. Then why do you worry ?
    Its very clear you are given advanced situations to handle, even with the help of your cousins also will help you then and there for advice's but the decision making will be yours. When place changes there will be a lot of change in mindsets too.
    Don't worry enjoy the travelling as its always a part of the job nowadays. See movies, relax mediate talk to your parents about the choice you have made. Most of the students are thinking to study abroad only and not in local since their settlement
    in life becomes easy for them to handle things financially.
    Its your attempts which secured admission for your higher education. Be confident and study, work and enjoy.

  • Solution of your problem is within you and very easy. You could not qualify GATE or any competitive examination because you surrendered before appearing in the examination. Come out from the negativity. Think always good. You can do so many things. Once you can complete your graduation in the engineering field, you are a highly capable person.Identify your strong area and start accordingly. Those who succeed in their life they are not better than you. But they have done right thing in right time and right way with full concentration. Never meet a person who generates negativity in you. Find some good friend. Friends play major role.
    Book is considered best friend. Books can do miracle in your life. Whenever you go, keep few good books with you. Always update your knowledge by going through the current materials available.

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