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  • Category: Marriage

    How convince my parents for inter caste marriage

    Planning an inter caste marriage? Wondering how to convince all parents for this marriage? Find advice from experts on this page.

    I am 20 years old Bengali girl in relationship with a Gujrati boy. The problem is that both of our family against to our relationship in no way they want me in their family and my family also does not want to accept him. My boyfriend family worried that if they accept me in their house there would be problems in their Samaj. The boy wants to be with me but he is now doing B.E. and 1 year is left to compete his study.
    I am the only child to my parents. In 2010 my mother died and my father married again. He does not love me not does he want me. My uncle has taken my responsibilities from childhood. After my 12th result my uncle started to search for a groom. I told that I want to do study but they did not listen to me. They want to marry me according to their choice. I have no right to choose my life partner nor of doing further study.
    I love my boyfriend and we have a 2 years relationship. He understands me and I want to do study after my marriage. He supports that. Now my boyfriend is doing a job an earning 5000 and we want to marry each other. I know that after completing his BE he will get a better job. But my family does not want to hear anything about him thinking that he will not make me happy after marriage. My family does not want me to do study or marry my boyfriend. He is wiling to take responsibilities of my study. I have already wasted 1 year of my study and do not want to waste any more time.
    What should I do? How can we both handle this situation? How can my boyfriend convince his parents and how can I convince my family to permit this marriage? How can I get back to studies?
  • #139994
    I have read the problem in details. Both of you are spending a very anious teen-age and none of you are financially independent. Under these circumstances,it is really very difficult for both of you to tie the nuptial cord. So, my suggestions would be:-

    (a) For you: Resist all pressure from your family, continue study and become financially independent within a realistic time-frame.
    (b) For your boy-friend: Tell him to be serious in study, convince his parents about your relationship and be financially independent at the earliest.
    (c) For both of you: Try to understand one another as much as possible. This will help your future conjugal life.

    God bless both of you.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #140000
    It seems the two of you are rushing assuming about the life ahead. And that is one reason that leads you to all of this. I think it is better to be financially independent before getting into marriage. You don't have to own flat, car and stuff to get married. But it helps. Both of you need to have some financial start before getting into marriage. I would say if you are currently in education phase, then it helps to get a head start with better graduation degree. Also you should learn how to socialize during this phase, so that while getting married, you'd understand the responsibilities.

    Once you go through this process, even your parents will take you seriously. And they are more likely to favor your marriage. As of this stands, not many parents and friends would be in favor. The reason being lack of maturity on your part and also the financial angle to this scenario.

  • #140005
    What confusion and tension you are experience is understandable. Your situation is like 'between devil and deep sea'. Both the sides are fraught with danger and difficulty.
    You may be clearly understand that real life is quite different from reel life. A movie lasts for only 2 or two and half hours but real life has to be endured for many decades.

    What you now need is t be calm and thoroughly working out the pros and cons of the available alternatives and then take a film decision and stick to it without regretting.

    (I do not want to blame the parents or elders of both you and your boy friend. Their behaviour is normal and expected in such situations) .

    Your decision now depends on only mainly the following.
    1. How strong your mutual love is.
    2 How strong willed your boy friend is to accept you as spouse and be with you with the same strong affection in any adverse situations.
    3.How fast both of you or either of you can earn the minimum sufficient income to live independently.
    4.How many true well wishers you will get for your support when you take a tough decision.

    Of all the above point no.3 is very very important. Until you satisfy that it is better to continue status quo, but at the same time politely and firmly telling parents/ guardian about your real love to the present friend.

  • #140073
    My suggestion is let you boyfriend complete his education and settle down in his career. Since both of you are young, it will be very early to talk any decisions. Let him concentrate on his studies and earn a respectful job. Once is financially stable, let him convince his parents and your elders as well. Until then, try to convince your uncle and continue your studies. Do not discontinue or wait to continue after marriage, try to start as early as possible. If you still can't convince elders for your studies, take up some decent job and start saving money so that you can be independent and also in future you can help your partner or yourself.

  • #140075
    In today's era people are not able to give good education and spend good amount on marriage for better choice even to their own children.Do not aspect much from your uncle.He is taking tare of you, that is a great job he is doing.So you should not hurt the feelings of him. Your father can not escape from the responsibilities simply. You can demand some 5-10 lac from him for your education and marriage. If he does not give, take legal help and take your part in property and compensation.
    Prepare for competitive examination and try to get govt. job. After the completion of your boyfriends'BE completion and getting job, try to convince the parents. If it works otherwise go for court marriage. You will also be eligible for award of Rs 11000 (old rate) for inter caste marriage.

    The greatest wealth in this world is mental peace and good health.

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