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  • Category: Marriage

    Help about inter caste marriage

    Confused between choosing family and inter caste love? Checkout this page and solve your worries.

    I am 23 years old Rajput. I have fallen in love with a Brahmin boy and the bonding between us is great.We are good friends. We love eac other too much. We have problem about the caste and financial.
    I belong to a wealthy family as compared to his. It does not matter to me because I know that we both are having capability to earn. But the major problem is my family has started searching a well settled groom for me. But I want marry my love. I also love my family, specially my mother because she always sacrifices for ,e. she will never agree for inter caste marriage. If I agree with my mother's choice I will never be happy because I would have cheated my love. Also I don't want hurt my family and my mom.
    I am getting stressed with all this.
    What should I do? I am thinking of committing suicide but I can't. This is foolishness. Else I think that I should not marry anyone but my parents will not agree with this. I want both: my mother and my love. What should I do?
  • Answers

    5 Answers found.
  • It is surprising that such questions and doubts persist in youngster's mind even now. This very site and section itself has many questions and answers on the same topic.

    Why should the well educated well thinking and confident youngsters rush into some relationship without thinking anything or not having any idea about future, and then later having all doubts and confusion? That shows a lack of confidence, a lack of forethought and analytical and rational mind .

    I would first suggest that both of you test and evaluate yourself, how deep, sincere and solid your mutual love is. The better solution will be to discuss all pros and cons and part as friends, if possible. Then follow what your parents say and comply.
    Otherwise be sure that you are sincerely and solidly, truly, in love and have a real idea of how your future life will be. Be financially independent. Convince parents of both sides. Get their blessings and co-operation and marry.

    After trying this if it is not possible, take help of well wishers and go ahead with a civil marriage. But always stay mutually supportive and affectionate.

  • By the way you are 23 years old girl and knows the intricacies of life and challenges if you marry a Brahmin boy and then face the onslaught from both sides. There is nothing in the world which can be achieved without frank and free discussions. Please discuss this important issue with your parents and especially the mother. Some times the elders also respect the catch 22 situation of the children and they do cooperate. Your mother has the capacity to change her attitude and even convince others to agree with her. So have a free talk with her and also advise your lover to have a free talk with his parents also so that this love would be changed to arranged marriage.

    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • You both are adult. And that means you have right to take the decision of your life. The thing with most of the people these days is that they don't stand up for themselves. Instead they expect parents to accept their choices. If your bond is good and you have confidence on each other. In such case you have to meet both sides parents. And here you have to convince each other.

    For boys side, you have to tell them why you are a good match for their son. And you have to give them that reassurance that everything will work out good. If they find that confidence in two of you. Then things can go smooth in that case.

    For girls side, you have to convince parents about the settled guy and your guy's position. You have to give them assurance that you two are in compatibility with each other. And finance is something you can take care of yourselves.

    If both of you are on financial stability side as a working person. There should not be much of an issue from parents side. It should happen smoothly.

  • Its up to you, decide what to leave and which one to take up as a grown up. As authors mentioned, you are a adult and you only have every right to make your own decision. I think in this case of where you don't want to lose your mother's love and also your love, you have to stay strong . Loving is one thing that any born human beings gets nowadays, its only gets life when the both lovers start living their life together and to attain that you first tell this to your parents. You have to be polite and explanatory on your request that with him you life will be very happy and all. This will stop your parents from seeking a groom for you.

    If at all they neglect and go ahead in search of groom then you have to stay strong with your decision that no marriage than the loved one. Patience is the main key to attain your result, where your parents has to think that you are really serious and then they will melt and your goal may be achieved. And same applies to the boy side.

    Some times peace is better than being Right!!!

  • Sometimes, it becomes difficult to choose the right path because of sheer confusion. You have indicated your intense love for your mother and in no way, you would like to hurt her sentiment.
    Now let me explain how you can take your mother in confidence so that her decision goes in your favour. To start with, be frank to your mother and apprise her of sincere willingness to enter into contract with the marriage with the Brahmin - boy. Since there is a great attachment between you and your mother, so your honest interpretation of all the positive qualities of your fiancé would compel her to change her stance. She can be informed regarding the income and qualification of the boy and more importantly, she must know how intensely you love the boy. In case, she is in dilemma because of the different cast status, you have to cite a few examples where the couples having different castes are leading their matrimonial lives successfully. It may take sometime for your mother to change her old perception but I am sure, you are to get her blessings so that the marriage takes place with the consent of your family - members. You need not be over sentimental and never loose your patience.

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