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    Need clarification for getting married

    Have a query about getting married? Searching for marriage related advice online? Here, on this page find advice from experts to your dilemma.

    I need clarification for getting married with close relation as my own sister got married with unknown person. My parents suggest going to get married with her daughter. I am not interested to marry her for future genetics problems. Can you provide suggestion for my life?
  • Answers

    7 Answers found.
  • In our society marrying sister's daughter is a general phenomena. But many doctors advise against it. They say that that may lead to genetic problems and scientifically true also. So it is always advisable to go for new known family for marriage than close relation.
    But I have seen many cases where the person marrying the sister's daughter.My elder sister married my mother's cousin brother. It is a love marriage.They have one daughter and one son. Both of them are perfectly alright. Her daughter married one of my own brothers.Again a love marriage. They are doing good. They have a daughter and she is very active, perfectly normal in all respects. So It depends on our destiny.
    Any how what I feel is if your parents insist also if you personally don't want to marry your sister's daughter, you better coveney your opinion to them and go for an outside known family.
    All the best to you.

    always confident

  • In many societies and close knit social dwellings marrying with relatives and even cousins and sisters is permitted. So reproduction of newborns is outcome of mixing of more and less similiar genes and the health of newborns is also affected if there is a problem with the genes of any one of the parents.
    On the other hand marrying outside the community gives a chance of mixing of unknown genes and there may not be those defects which are being apprehended within the close group.
    There are many medical studies which point out to more cases of health problems in babies born out of consanguineous marriages in comparison to the marriages between unknown or far off communities.
    In view of this it is advisable not to marry in too near relation and go slightly away from it even in other communities.

    Knowledge is power.

  • As your parents suggest going to get married with her daughter. As you are not interested to marry her for future genetics problems. Getting married among the same relations are not actually safe genetically. This is considered as 'inbreeding'. Genetically inbreeding will reduce the continuity of generations.The off-springs will low qualities and future genetics problems. As there are certain groups of communities which almost became extinct because they married only from among such groups alone. If same blood running through their bodies then there is a good chance that the child born to them will be having many physical and mental problems.

  • In some societies marrying within relation is allowed while in others it is not. This is more and less as per the cultural as well as traditional satire in that particular community or society.
    As per medical science there is a risk of getting heriditarily transmitted weak genes for reducing immunity towards certain diseases.
    Still people are not considering those threats and going on as per their traditions.
    Once you are aware of those adverse things which may eventually show up in future you can refuse the proposals for marriage within relation and opt out for a better alternative by selecting a girl of your choice outside your closely related circle.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • "I am not interested to marry her"- if you are solid and convinced of this stand , then the issue is closed. You need not marry someone you are not interested in. You have to convince your parents with polite firmness.

    However if your dislike is only because of " future genetics problems." then I have to say, .well.. there are some ifs and buts. If you do not have opposition to the marriage to your relative girl barring this one point, then you may consider the following parameters and come to a decision:

    1. Marrying such a relative is permitted and accepted in the community or sub community you belong to.
    2. The girls and her parents do not have any known issues of health problems and are keeping normal health.
    3. Your side grandparents and the parents of your brother-in-law also did /do not have any serious health issues which can contribute to hereditary related health issues.
    4. Both sides (parents and well wishers from your side and the girl's side) do not have objection to the marriage and actually welcome it.
    5. The girls also is ready to marry you.

    Then, if all other parameters in selecting a marriage partner are okay for you in this regard, then you may better proceed with this marriage with the relative girl.

    The main issue with consanguineous marriages-marriage with close relatives – is that there is one or more common ancestry. In that case the heredity factor probability is more. However if the factors are good then the probability of good is more, and if the factors are not good then that will have more probability. Heredity can influence mental and physical state of a person. However no one can exactly predict about this. Moreover, in the present case, there is one more ancestry which can contribute to heredity- (in this case) the girl's father's side. Even it can take dominance.

    Now what is the guarantee that if you marry a non-relative there will not be any health issues? Actually in a marriage with a non-relative, mostly we do not enquire nor get go beyond the boy & girl and to some extent their parents. We do not and cannot conduct detailed enquiries about the health status of the grandparents etc. If the marriage is so-called 'love-marriage', then mostly the knowledge gets limited to the boy and girl only.

    Hence on a logical and practical analysis, I will quote that a 'known devil is better than an unknown devil". In your case you know the ancestry and antecedents of your parents, grandparents which means you know a better part of the girl's ancestry also.

    So if the 5 points I mentioned above are okay, then you may accept this marriage. Keep faith in the elders' wisdom, keep faith in God ( if you are a believer) that everything will be positive and good.

    Best wishes.

  • Science says you are correct. Marriage within the relationship has real probability of birth of deformed (both mentally and physically) children. You try to make your parents understand. If they don't believe you, take them to a proper counsellor with convincing ability.
    Even if they don't understand, put your foot down and reject the proposal. Be rest assured that you are on the right side in respect of this issue.

    Come on, have a fight. Don't shoot and scoot.

  • Other than genetic issues, there are many things to be checked before marriage. First is your choice and girl's choice for marriage, are you both compatible for that?
    Genetic problems are not certain, they may appear and they may not depending upon the genetic constitution of both the families and it is just like many other uncertain problems occur after marriage.
    So, it is like, if you like the girl and she also have some feeling for you, you should not think much about genetic issues. The medical sciences is very much advanced now days and there are methods to diagnose the genetic problems even before the birth of the child. There is nothing to worry.


    Living & Learning- simultaneous processes!

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