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  • Category: Parenting

    How to convince my students who don't concentrate on study

    Want to motivate students to focus on studies and career above love life? Looking out for how to do so? Check out this page for tips and loads of advice to get students on track to study.

    I'm a teacher and there is a good girl student in my School/class. But for the last few weeks she is consistently weak in her study and doesn't concentrate in her study. After a long observation I found that she has been distracted by some boy in the class by sending love letters and messages.
    I have spoken to her calmly that 'this is not a proper time for love affair and all. You are in study period and you have to make your career first'. Then she surrendered herself that she further does not want to get involved in such things. And asked me to guide her to keep away from such problems.
    Can you suggest me how to convince her and how to bring her in a right way of career?
  • Answers

    13 Answers found.
  • First of all, I would deeply appreciate your concern that you are showing towards your student. The tender age is the age which has lot distractions, psychological, physical and hormonal changes which will show affect on the child's outcome. You need to be very patient to guide her in the positive direction. Do not expect results very quickly. Guide her in a loving and patient manner.

    Show her examples of great and successful people who achieved great heights by dedication and hard work. Tell her the importance of education and also state the importance of being independent in future both financially and mentally. Also recognize her skills and interests so that you can tune her in that direction which will have bright future. Also convey the message that everything will have its time and this is the age of career and not love or marriage. Once she attains the point where she is confident, independent and sustainable by self then she can decide to love or marry a guy. Make her understand this. Give her weekly targets in terms of home work such as power point presentation or small projects or extra curricular activities such as designing (if she has that skill), arts, crafts etc. All these tasks keep her busy and occupied which will sway her away from distractions.

    Also gently talk to the boy who is doing that and make him understand the same. Note that you must halt his behavior before it gets worse. Make that boy to concentrate on studies and his career.

    You must concentrate on both sides of the coin, not only the girl but the boy also. Both are your students. With patience and consistent followups you will definitely succeed in what you are wishing for and also you will be the person who have created bright students.

    Wishing you very best.

    Thank You
    Dr. V. Shashikanth

  • Since this is an anonymous question, we do not know the gender of the teacher. We don't know the class also.
    I would first suggest that if you are a male teacher, please do not try and resolve this on your own. Bring it to the notice of your prinicipal or the vice prinicpal and involve a feamle colleague also.

    You never know when and how things backfire, despite your honorable intentions and desire to help the student. Please allow some time to pass. It is good that she has volunteered to stay away for these issues. Do not try to counsel the boy or the girl alone. You can certainly try doing it with the help of another colleague. IF there is a career counselor at your school, you can involve them also.

    Initially try to focus on the importance of education, a good job and decent salary and the difficulties people face to achieve this. Then once they are the right age, they can think of these activities. Keep them occupied with talent/skill development, grooming for improvement in education to deviate their attention. Whatever is planned it should be over a period of time with regular assessments.

    Being a teacher, it is difficult not to get personally involved in such issues, but you need to tread carefully

  • I presume the girl is in her early teens.
    I also presume that you are a parent apart from a teacher also. That is why you are worried or much concerned.
    It is a positive signal that the girls has listened to you.
    Now, for some days do not open the topic at all, as she had agreed to listen to you and take your guidance.

    Observe her remotely and see if she has kept her words and improving. If you see that tell her that you are happy that she listened to you and has improved, fro her own sake.
    But you need not make it a big fuss if there is not much improvement. Tell her that you are concerned about her academics and not interested to interfere with her personal affair, which is her parents' concern. But as you are her well wisher you are just trying to help and guide her.
    Convince her that these kind of attractions and affinity are just natural and if she interacts and mingles with more people her outlook will be broader and she will find that the world has man better people than the present boy. Convince her that she can continue with the boy as another of her friends or classmates, and need not give any special attention. As her knowledge and experience are now limited, her choice is also limited .
    You should draw her to more healthy group activities where she can get involved and slowly forget her infatuation to the particular boy.
    Do not follow her like a spy, but only as a teacher and coach interested in the development and progress of a promising trainee. Praise her in the class for her achievements and tell her that she is slowing down now, but should be back with her efforts and results. Encourage her and convince her that she can do many wonders.

    In case her attention decreases again and she goes down in tests etc, then inform her parents only the academic part and only if you feel confiding with them about you do it very discretely and careful way making it as a general trend and he girl is also part of the general trend.

  • Your concern for the students progress in education is to be appreciated. I congratulate you for that and advise you to be more cautious in the dealing. As a well wisher of a female student you are advising her to be away from distractions and she accepted for that. Now for some time keep watching her. If you have noticed any positive change, it is good and you can continue guiding her.
    Your post is not indicated anything about the class she is studying and your gender. A word of caution is be observing the boy who has written letters to this girl. He may try to twist the whole affair against you and that girl. This societywill hear more than what they see. So my advise is inform the parents of the boy about his activities and caution them that he is not in a proper way and should take care of them.
    Further keep postings the happenings and your actions to your boss or the principal of the institute so that if any untoward twist the whole issue takes place you will not be at a problem.
    Another suggestion is to keep posting the developments with the parents of the girl also and advise them not to scold her but keep a strict vigilance .

    always confident

  • If you have a genuine concern for your beloved student, you can ask her her regarding the progress of her studies and you can ask her a number of questions relating to her studies. Watch how she is responding your queries. Her answers itself would indicate her inclination towards her recent assignments.
    In case, even if you see her involvement with the boy, you have to be a little bit polite to highlight the consequences of such illicit relationships. You have to repeat the bad consequences she might face with such relationships. Her entire progress with respect to her duty would be stagnant because of such relationships. Her parents may not tolerate such companionship and ultimately, this would lead to disintegration of the family relationship. Her entire career will be spoilt.
    May be your constant preaching would bring some positive result and she will be back in her main - stream. However, you need to take care of not disclosing this development before her parents at this stage. She may say a good bye to such a relationship.

  • This is a problem of teenage and is to be dealt in a delicate manner.
    The girl should be taken to a psychological counsellor who can slowly change her attitude towards these distractions. It takes time but it works.
    You can also try to tell the girl about the effect of these indulgences in her studies and career. You can create fear in her mind that you will be informing her patents regarding this. The only problem in this is that sometimes some students take their teachers lightly and ignore their good advice.

    So better option will be to inform her parents who can arrange a good counsellor for her.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • The first thing as a teacher what you have to do is to inform the parents as there is an involvement of a boy. Do not try to do anything on your own. Involve as many teachers as possible. Regarding improving her studies, keep watching her progress on regular basis and try to curtail any absenteeism on her part. Things will settle once she comes out of her infatuation.

    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • This is an infatuation which often forces a person to start such behaviour and this is quite common at this juncture of age.

    I suggest to take the parents in the loop before planning for any reformative step. Teacher alone may not be successful in this delicate task.

    The girl is to be approached in privacy and should be explained all pros and cons of her attraction to opposite sex. Once dangers of such a probable relationship and it's effect on her carrier is explained she may start apprehending her infatuation.

    Consistent counselling will be required gradually for a significant period of time before improvement in the object is seen. The help of a professional psychologist may also be required if situation does not come to normalcy by the efforts of parent-teacher combination.

    Knowledge is power.

  • I think the best way to motivate people is through by making them see the consequences of their actions. If they don't study they have to work on poor jobs and earn worst way. So those are some of the implications of their actions. And as a teacher you have to show that to the students. You can see that it can be really hard to concentrate for every student due to lot of distractions. So you have to pick their distractions and show them the way out of it. That seems to be something many teachers are doing.

    Also some of the motivations videos and the books help a lot. Also putting them into the work you get to teach them a lot of things. And we have lot of stuff to learn from in due process. I have seen some of the teachers teaching through those ways.

  • Do her parents know about it? I appreciate your talking and explaining her the right thing to do but I think in such cases parents are the best persons who can talk to her and guide her. Please call a meeting with her parents and tell them everything and ask them to talk to her. Ask them to be cautious about her at home while doing the same at school. There is nothing much abnormal about it as this is the age where such distractions happen. As you said it was not she who started it but there were some boys who sent her love messages. You also need to find out those mischief maker boys and warn or punish them. Talk to school principal so that she can issue warnings to all the boys to prevent this kind of situation in future. Explain to the victim that there are chances that boys will come out with such mischiefs and she should not give importance to it and inform such things immediately to the teacher.

    I think you and her parents together can handle the situation and bring her on the right track.

  • Probably you are a female teacher as the girl opened in front of you . you can help the girl as she knows at some level that she is getting sidetracked by this kinky affair. But how can you help her ? How would you have helped yourself if you were in her shoes?
    What is teenage love ? It is just infatuation . you look into someones eyes and see dilated pupils and a ravishing emotion on the face .you assume that he loves you and you fall in love with anything that makes you feel better about yourself . The guy is just a mirror that is showing her psyche a better or lovable image of herself and so she is loving the guy . Help the girl love herself and this kinky love affair will subside or lose strength .
    The love we witness nowadays is not love but a soothing balm for the inferiority complex that is churning inside everybody's psyche.
    How can you help the girl love herself and boost her self image ? Read some applied psychology especially about cognitive behavior therapy and make her aware of the symptoms of a complication called "obsessive love disorder" .
    If applied psychology seems like a far fetched solution , take the advice of oprah winfrey . She is a widely known talk show host and she once gave a simple tip for improving one's self image .The tip was - Before going to sleep take a piece of paper and write ten things you like about yourself and ten things that went well that day . In some weeks the self image will improve and the pangs of love will weaken . The love may not vanish but it will become manageable and stop curtailing normal functioning .
    Do not tell the girl to get away from the boy. It won't work as this trick has failed zillions of times in our cosmos. Trying to stop a person in love or infatuation is like trying to stop a train at full speed by standing on the tracks . you will fail like millions of others who are unaware of the dynamics of the human psyche . Tell her to manage her relationship with the boy if possible so that it does not hurt her career . Tell her that it is normal to feel this way in this age and it will vanish gradually if it is not true love . once she accepts the emotions they will get out of her psyche and get integrated with her main personality . If she starts hating herself for loving or looking for diversions like focusing on career , job or money etc , she will suppress the parts of her that are craving for love and appreciaition . once suppressed , the problem may be solved temporarily but not for ever .

  • The first and the foremost thing is that the teacher must understand that it's the biological & psychological processes that distracts the child.

    Attraction for the opposite sex is a very normal & natural phenomenon after a certain age. The more we try to suppress it, the more excruciating it becomes for the child. It's the flow of energy, which if resisted, would burst in anger, hate or violence.

    Instead, we need to make the child understand that it's perfectly okay. We need to teach them how to balance things. Understanding is the only solution.

    Any form of learning is part of education. Only books, exams, results, doesn't define education. Life is garden & the child is the flower, let him / her flourish in a healthy way (with understanding & learning).

    "If you want to make real progress, you must give up all ideas of personal attainment".

  • Unfortunately, the bitter truth is, this IS the age to fall in love, but not to get married. This is an instinct that can't be negated with something as uninteresting an alternative, as career, about which even the meaning is not clear to those young minds. At the same time, we adults have known and realized the importance of it too harshly.
    But I truly appreciate your concerned nature, that you did take the trouble to talk to her personally. You can try the following, if that suits your own idea:
    Tell her, that if she doesn't concentrate now, and neglect her studies, the results will bring even worse situations for her.
    Her parents might transfer her to some other school, will get disappointed with her and will lose faith in her.
    And the boy because of whom she is neglecting her studies, will start neglecting her soon, as soon her marks deteriorate. That will be a situation which will be much difficult to come out of.
    To keep a balance, she should study and keep her emotions under control, so that she loses nothing and even if she is serious about the relationship, that can slowly get steady with it, only when she studies well.

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