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  • Category: Family & Life

    Misunderstanding between family members


    Facing a difficult situation about choosing higher studies options and convincing family about the decision? Looking out for advice? On this page, find suggestions from experts to overcome this difficult situation.

    I am a Bcom graduate and would like to pursue Masters , but my brother and mother want me to do CA. So how should I make them understand that CA is not my cup of tea.
    On the other hand, I have done digital marketing course by which I can work as freelancer. My interest is to do Masters on a regular basis and with that would like to work as a freelancer.
    So suggest me how would I come out of this CA crap?
  • Answers

    15 Answers found.
  • It is very important that the person studying a course should study with full interest. Otherwise he may not be able to do justice to the study. Try to make your brother to understand this fact. You tell him if you are forced to do CA, I will not pursue further education and try to get a job and I will think about my studies later on. Then if he is able to understand you both can make your mother to agree.
    Otherwise , you tell them that you will join in PG and simultaneously you will do CA also. You may have to struggle a little. But first two years you canconcentrTe more on your PG. Then basing on your interest you may complete CA or discontinue.
    Otherwise start your career as a digital marketer and then you can do your M.Com in night college or distant education system

    drrao
    always confident

  • You have to take your mother and brother in confidence with a little tact and explain them regarding your own interest. Any thing persued without passion and interest can be suicidal and success can be a distant dream. The second point behind your persuance for M.Com is because of your likeness for such studies and so despite their resistance, take up the course.
    If interested for digital marketing, you may choose the job of Free - lancer, and M.Com can be persued either by joining evening classes in a post - graduate college or complete the same through distance mode such as IGNOU or any other recognised open university.

  • Generally, in many families, the elders or male members feel pride in guiding others for their careers without considering what is the real interest and aptitude of those persons.

    In such a situation, the other person, especially when he is dependent, becomes confused and indecisive.

    You will have to take a bold step in this matter clearly telling them that you prefer to follow your aptitude and interest rather than simply going for a CA degree and earning significantly by practicing it.

    Once you show your intent to follow your interest rather than the blind financial goals, they will understand the seriousness of your thoughts in this regard.

    You have to convince them that people can only rise in career and life when they pursue their interest lines as they are able to put serious and sustained efforts there.

    I know a person who was studying along with me in class XII, science stream but had no interest in science. Somehow he just passed and joined BA and then did MA in history with gold medal and position in the university. Later he became a lecturer in the university and had a very satisfying career.

    Knowledge is power.

  • You are a B.Com graduate and have done digital marketing,now keen to sturyd M.Com on as a regular course.
    You can freelance but family wants you to do CA. Is brother or mother accountants or is there a family accountancy firm. Because generally, parents and elder siblings encourage younger ones to take up a course to help the family profession or buissness.

    If not, then analyse what are the realistic chances of empolyment with B.Com + CA and B.Com+M.Com.

    Can you analyse why you are dead against CA, a lack of interest, aptitude etc? Sometimes we don't like a course based on a pre-conviced thoughts or some sad experiences of our close friends. This many not happen to all taking that course.

    So, think whether this makes sense. If you are still unwilling to consider CA, then reason out with your brother and mother. You would be wasting crucial years trying to pursue CA which you don't like and you would likely end up being a drop out or a below average scores. So, you would rather do M.Com that you like, have a good grasp of the subject and confident that you would move on with B.Com and M.Com seeing yourself as a teacher, lecturer, a government employee in the banking, railway, private/large corporate finance institutions etc.

    If you are at logger heads and find no way out, can you consider doing M.Com in the distance mode from IGNOU/ UGC recognised university and trying your hand at work with your digital marketing as see whether this is your cup of tea?

  • Do not worry. It is very easy to convince your family members.
    1. First, tell them about your interest. They will understand that in any education interest is the most important thing. A work of without interest is not of any use.
    2. You are B.Com graduate, let see a good time and tell them the advantages and disadvantages of both the courses.
    3. Tell them that of making CA is very difficult and competitive work, and without interest it is impossible.
    4. Make a list of different opportunities and career option after Master degree and discuss with them about it.
    5. If any member of your family is in your favour or can understand you, let tell him to take your favour at the time of discussion.
    After all, they are your family member and will be convinced, there would be no problem.

    Honesty is the best policy.

  • After graduation in commerce it is common in all houses to ask us for pursuing job in banks. Pursuing higher education either pg or ca or icwa are all good suggestion but your motto should be what. You should select professional course like ca or icwa only if you plan to practicing and if you plan to work any company or bank it is enough your present b.com. after availing a job you can do your post graduation.

  • Many people in India don't believe in the earning capability of freelancers (in any field). I feel that your mother and your brother don't have much faith in the prospect of freelancing in the field of digital marketing. Like many other middle-class Indian guardians, they don't want you to take the risk. They don't want uncertainty in your future working life. This is perfectly understandable.

    On the other hand, you have assessed yourself and found that it would not be possible for you to pursue CA. So, you don't want to waste years and instead pursue your M.Com as a regular student. Under these circumstances, I feel that you can enroll yourself both for CA and also for M.Com (that is possible), go to a different city (metro cities) and give all stress on M.Com. After completing M.Com go for a decent job, maybe teaching in a Government school/college. After ensuring a decent job, you can try your luck in digital marketing or in pursuing chartered accountancy. But first, ensure a good job. Jining teaching profession will give you comparatively more time to try your luck in any other field/prepare for a better alternative, during your spare time.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • Illustrate with an example. Catch hold of CA disadvantages like passing CPT is difficult. And CA graduates only have a small area to work with.
    Tell them the advantages of masters you are willing to pursue. Try to find an example of a person who suceeded with that masters.
    Your family is objecting because they feel your success is ensured by doing CA. Prove them wrong.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • Having passed B Com, CA will not be any enemy subject to you.

    Moreover, I think the family has some confidence on you that you are capable of completing CA successfully on time. Definitely that is a plus point they have on you. They also may have some other points i their mind when they want you to do CA. Is any of your family members running a CA firm? Or any of your influential relatives in the same filed?
    Now try to find a clear answer as to why you dislike CS. Is it a lack of confidence that you may not able to complete the course easily? Is it that you fear it will be a time gap of few years to complete the course and start earning?
    CA is a very good profession. It has its own vast scope. There is scope for self employment too.

    You try to compare your interest field and CA and arrive at their relative merits and demerits .
    With this sit across with your brother and mother. Let them also put up their views. Approach the matter with an open mind. Probably after the thorough discussions you may become more clear.

    You can again review your own stand . If you are still convinced that your stand is correct, convince your brother and mother politely telling tat you are not disobeying them, but feel you will fare better with your own choice of study and job. Even try the possibility and feasibility of doing M Com along with CA. So that you can settle for the one which better suits you, later.

  • You are already out of the C A trap. It is the love and respect for your family members that is catapulting you into the trap . The family members throw such tantrums just to steer you in a desired direction . Once they realize that you are adamant and will not change your decision , they may abandon you for some days or weeks but thereafter they will get back on the gentle track .
    After completing engineering , kalpana chawla's family wanted that she took up a job in India. She was not interested in job and was firmly determined to go to U S for further studies. The family members threw in the usual Indian tantrum but she did not move . she went to US and did what she wanted to do . Eventually the family accepted her and her decision .
    So stick to your decision .

  • 1. Understand source why your brother and mother asking you to do CA. Is there anyone in family already CA and earning well?
    2. Sometimes money causes to take unwilling decisions. Think in way what is more costlier CA or M.Com. It may advantage you or your family too to explain situation.
    3. If you are really sure you can get job and earning immediately after Masters then prefer that. CA can be done post masters also. But if you are unsure then spending time doing CA is good option.

    Avi
    Life Is Beautiful

  • First you have to convince you family members. Do not make fight with your family members because it can be then a prestige issue or ego problem. Rather than try to understand them that what you want to do is basically a good choice of carrier.
    CA is basically a tough course and you have to be so studious althrough the course to be succeed. Also you are not interested in that course.
    And it is reported that If any student is not interested in a course, there is lesser chance to be succeed. So, what you want to study you have to be interested in that first.
    One of my friend was good in drawing, but his parents forced him to study engineering. In the middle of the course, he left it. Then he appeared in the entrance exam for admission in govt art college. He was selected and studied that course. Then he studied commercial art. Now a day he is working in a ad agency in a good position with a handsome salary.
    So, try to convince your brother and mother. Do not fight with them but clearly say them that you don't have any interest in CA.

  • First of all, believe this that your family members have your best interests at heart. Whatever they are suggesting is coming out of their own personal experience & understanding of the current scenario. However, your own idea of what is best for you, also deserves proper deliberation.

    If you have already tried convincing your family members, I suggest you discuss the matter with one of your teachers (whom you are comfortable with) and let him or her convince your family.

    I really appreciate that you are clear enough of your own capabilities and confident to take up the responsibility for your decision. I am sure you will do wonders in your career. I wish you all the best.

    "If you want to make real progress, you must give up all ideas of personal attainment".

  • Many times, we think that we are sure about our choice and interest but believe me, in most of the cases, parents know us better than us. If your mather is asking for CA, she has trust in you that you will be able to complete the CA successfully. We know that the career of CA is far better than a Post Graduate in Commerce, although the field is same but degree matters.
    Regarding your capabilities, if you can go for M.Com, there is no question of interest as the main content of the course is similar in both the cases.
    I would like to suggest you try your efforts in CA and this will definitely help you reach heights in the future.
    Another point of working as a freelancing work, you have not mentioned about the financial condition of your family. As per my views, if it is not the requirement, please do not indulge yourself in earning while studying because it will cause the distraction. I know, there are many examples of successful people earned while studying but it is a matter of requirement. If you want to support your family financially, do focus on your studies, secure good rank and have a successful job. Then you will be able to support them in a stable manner.

    Padmini

    Living & Learning- simultaneous processes!

  • It happens with all of us. Our elders are supposed to take decisions about our career and they don't look if we have an interest in the field that they have chosen for us.

    One thing I would ask from you that what is the reason you don't want to do CA, any specific reason if you have then you should discuss with your mother and brother.

    Also I should tell you that doing M. COM won't give you better opportunity of job than doing CA, may be thats the reason they are compelling you not to do MCOM.

    Now the question is why your interest is not in CA that has to be found out within yourself. Analyse it and let your mother and brother know. But mind you the reason should be good enough. Even then too they dont convince then you will have to find out someone who can convince them on your behalf.

    Sanjeev

    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide


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