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  • Category: Marriage

    How to convince my boyfriend for our marriage


    Is your boyfriend no longer agreeable to marrying you? Get some suggestions through the answers at this Ask Expert page on how to deal with the discord between you and your boyfriend and resolve the dilemma.

    I am in love since the last six years. I informed my parents recently about this and they are not ready to accept our marriage. Now my boyfriend has changed his attitude. He says that if my parents not accepting us, then it is better to stop our love here. Actually what my parents are saying is that there is nobody to take of us both and they would not bother about me anymore. So my boyfriend is scared that if we get married without our parents' acceptance, then my parents would supposedly kill me. So only if my parents are in full agreement for our marriage, then he will marry me otherwise he will not do so.

    I don't know what I should do. I cannot give my life to somebody else as I love him very much. So how to convince him? Please give me guidance.
  • Answers

    8 Answers found.
  • I wonder what you were doing all these six years of your love. You had not understood each other .You do not know how dependable your boyfriend is. It seems both you and your boy- friends are not mature enough to face life in its seriousness.

    The ground fact is that : your parents do not approve the marriage. Your boyfriend is not courageous enough to marry you against the opposition and risks. You seem to have ignored the boy's parents. Have you checked what will be their attitude in this? If they are also against the marriage, is it not better to part as good friends now itself?

    What have you planned about the life after marriage? Have you either or both a job or steady income for a normal life ahead? Do you have some true friends and well wishers who will stand by you if you decide to get married? But here again your boyfriend should have courage and confidence to go ahead. He cannot be weak and diffident and wavering.

    I do not think your parents will take up any nonsensical extreme steps like what your boyfriend is afraid. Do you have some real reason to think so?

    So as far as my suggestion is concerned, I would suggest that you better say good bye land part as friends; unless your boyfriend shows courage and you are sure that he will stand by you and marry you what may come. I doubt that. In case you decide to go ahead with marriage please consult and involve some real friends and well wishers to doubly ensure your boyfriend's dependability and reliability.

  • I think you and your boy friend don't understand each other properly. Both of you should sit and discuss in detail all the points. You have talked about the attitude of your parents. Then what is the attitude of his parents. Are they ready to accept you as their daughter in law.
    What is the financial position of your boy friend. Can you manage financially without the support of your parents and his parents. You both should discuss this point also.

    I don't hope that any patent will killl his own children. They may be angry for sometime. Later on they will become normal and be good with their children.

    From the information you have given what I am thinking is your boy friend is also not seriously trying to marry you. Already it is 6 years you are in love. But even today there is no clear understanding between both of you.

    So have a serious discussion with your boy friend and still he is not changing his stand but be apart as friends and look for another guy to marry.

    drrao
    always confident

  • Love is based on mutual understanding and sacrifice. It is not an infatuation of younger minds. If your love is based on these premises then there is no problem in taking a bold step in this direction.

    Parents have their own ways of thinking and they have to care for their future life as well as how the society will take it. They will never agree with their offsprings if they are going against their wishes.

    Your boy friend is apprehended about your parents. In fact he should only bother for his parents whether they are agreeing to this match. If yes, he should go ahead with it.

    You have to assess your boy friend in totality and only take this matter further if he is fully reliable and can take care of you after the marriage.

    Do not take it otherwise but the love of a boy differs from the love of a girl in many ways and many times it is found that the love of the boy may not have that much sincerity, devotion and dedication as that of the girl. It is inherent in nature and one must be alert on this aspect. If you have any tinge of doubt in the boldness or confidence of the boy then it will be the best course to give a full stop to this relationship.

    True love does not bother for anything and is not afraid of the worldly fears. Both of you have to sit together and take a diligent decision in the matter considering all the pros and cons. One thing which is to be understood clearly is that after this marriage if the parents (boy's and your's both) desert you then you should not feel bad about it and you should not go to them for any financial or emotional help.

    Knowledge is power.

  • You have to be practical rather than sentimental. Control yourself and keep a tab on emotions. Life is not to be decided in the shadow of plutonic love. There are other considerations as well.

    You have to see whether you can manage your life without the support of your parents. Then the question comes that whether your boy friend is capable of taking care of you if his parents also do not accept this relationship.

    Think of your future and take a prudent decision.

    This is not the age for such indulgences. One has to concentrate for making ones career and when one becomes self dependent then the question of marriage is to be considered nay be with the same boy friend if he is able to wait for you. If his love is true, he will.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • First, you need to understand is it the case of true love. Not just from your side but from your boyfriend's side too. It is because true love never gives up. It is fine that your boyfriend wants to get married to you only with your parents' permission. In fact, it is a nice gesture. However, thinking that they may kill you is a little too much. It does take place in certain families but living in such doubts without any considerable proof is nonsense.

    If your boyfriend loves you, is he trying hard enough to carry forward this relationship? Just giving up and leaving everything on time by saying that he will marry you only after your parents accept is not the right thing to do. Is he trying hard and coming up with solutions to solve the problem? Is he frequently seeing them and making every possible effort to try to convince them? If no then there may be two possible reasons. First one is that he is too egoistic and remembers ego and love are two poles apart. The second reason is that he may have given up.

    Thus, you need to seriously consider your decision of getting married to him. A relationship can work only if both the partners are in love with each and are truly committed to each other. It does not matter what sort of difficulties come in their way. They will tackle everything and still remain with each other.

    Even after six long years of relationship if your boyfriend is not able to support you completely and take the next step of getting married, you need to seriously think about his intentions. It is high time that you do not let your feelings come in the way. As I have mentioned earlier that a relationship only works when both the partners love each other. Thus, only your feelings are not going to get counted. You have to see the commitment from his side too.

  • If both of parties involved in a relationship are not having the same feeling, there's no point in going ahead. Even if you marry under such circumstances, things will come out to be disastrous in the long run.
    From your description, what is evident is that, your boyfriend is giving you lame excuses and wants to wash his hands off from the responsibility of marrying you. This is hurting, resentful. But that is the bitter truth.
    From your words again, we didn't find anything unusual from your parent's side. Rather they sound to be more reasonable than your boyfriend. Where is the issue of killing coming into the picture? Your parents are only concerned about your future, as their experience can see things what you cannot.
    Your boyfriend is only taking advantage of your innocence and scaring you with some funny ideas.
    For you, I understand, what you are going through. Hence, the best way to test the water is allowing some time to pass through. That will at least test the attitude of your boyfriend.

    On the other hand, let me explain, what will happen, even if your boyfriend gets convinced by some or other way. Your married life will be hell.
    If you are still unable to come out of it, ask your boyfriend not to contact you for some days. Though it will be really tough from your side, that is the only way you can find out, if your boyfriend needs you anymore.
    Continue this for at least a month. Once you can see things with clarity, making the right decision will become easier for you. But forget the idea of convincing anyone for marriage, Neither your parents, nor your boyfriend needs to be convinced. They have already made their decisions. It is you who needs to rethink the entire issue and take the right step towards your life.

  • Stay Positive and stay good with health. Being in love for six years is really a mutual understanding between you and your boyfriend. You must have understood your boyfriend for all these years when both of you were in love. I hope you both are educated, and must be up to age of marrying each other with each of your parents blessings. Stay positive.

    Find where the problem is with your boyfriend, not all parents accept a love marriage that much easily, even though parents accept their child's wish. If you force your parents about your love matter, they might reject it again and again. Talk to your boy friend and if you both are graduate try to find a job, earn for atleast three months, keep in touch with your boy friend and try to convenience your boy friend. Stand and show that a woman can do anything apart from love. Achieve something in this short period of time and if you still studying concentrate on you education, score good marks and earn a job. If already you are in job, be patience convenience your boy friend first. If your boy friend is not listening give it some time and calm yourself. Focus on other activities apart from your love life for a while, discuss to your parents and listen
    to your parents what they want you to be in future. All parents think of their child own wish,health,happy life.
    Every time you talk about your boy friend that will make them anger. Try to work hard in your career or education achieve in this short span of time, that a news should reach your boyfriend. That will make him that you will be the best partner for him than anyone. After achieving bring this matter to your parents and tell them that marriage will not affect in any way of their respect in the society. Don't fall for traps. Idealize every moment you have, for achievement. Implement in your life.
    If your boyfriend still does not agree, than take time to think what was wrong in the past and give a try to change it, still if can't think a better way and try and ask him questions know the truth. Be strong, Be confident, Pray god well and things will also change good on your side.

  • It's very strange that after a long relationship of 6 years your boyfriend is ready to leave you. First of all, you need to analyse it that does he love you or not in reality?.

    If he really loves you then I must say you should try to convince your parents. I believe your parents will bow down when you will force them to allow you to marry him. If they don't get convinced then you will have to take a bold decision to elope and marry him if he agrees. Take your boyfriend in confidence before taking the step of leaving your home so that you may not repent afterwards if your boyfriend doesn't accept you.

    If you analyse that your boyfriend doesn't love you but was doing time pass then you should stop your relationship here.

    Sanjeev

    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide


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