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  • Query on Hindu family relationship

    Confused about marriage within relation? Looking for detailed advice regarding the correct custom? Here, find advice from our ISC experts for your question.

    I am in a relationship with my mother's cousin brother's daughter. Her paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather are real sister and brother. We truly love each other and both want to marry.But some of our family members say that according to Hindu custom we are brother-sister to each other. Is it true?
    We are Hindu Nair.Please respond to our query.
  • Answers

    6 Answers found.
  • As per the Hindu religion, you both will be considered as brother and sister only. But the relation is very distinct and not a very close relation. Your generation is the third generation and all depends on the outlook of your family and her family. So if both of you really interested and there are no other objections to your both families, you can go forward. Otherwise, you both should convince your families and then go ahead. But if you both also give importance for this relationship which is not a close relation but only a distinct relation, you may have to think of not proceeding further. As per the religion, it is not accptable nut it is your individual decision. You have to take a call marriage or valuing the religion?

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  • In many societies the marriage between the near or first cousins is not permitted due to the religious reasons and it is also scientifically opined that due to danger of getting exaggeration of hereditary diseases in the offsprings such marriages are a risky proposition. These marriages are technically known as consanguineous marriages. There number is decreasing in the western part of the globe while in middle east these are followed as a routine. In our country these are more and less prohibited and not favoured.

    In your case it is not a case of exact near cousin as the relation is slightly away from that. So you can take a call on that and only problem is to convince the parents for their religious accommodations.

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  • While considering the customs of Hindu - families, you both would be regarded as having Brother and Sister relationship and our forefathers ignored any matrimonials having any relationship with each other up to fifth generation.
    However, it was the earlier concept and in case of yours, the relationship between you and the boy for whom you are interspersed is not too close to be accepted.
    There is no harm in continuation of this relationship provided both of you free from any genetical disorder. Simply the blood - test will reveal the abnormality. There is no harm in tie up if the reports of both of you are normal.

  • In your community tradition maternal uncle is considered to be head of the family. This is because traditionally your community were following matrilineal and matriarchal system or Marumakkathaayam. (This was since discontinued theoretically , but still many family are still following the same at least in sentiments.) In such families, maternal uncle's daughter is considered akin to biological sister.
    In your case the girl is daughter of your 'one-removed uncle' only. You do not have a common grand parent. As such the marriage between you two is not legally or socially prohibited also.

    So if both you and the girl are okay for each other and both sides parents and close relatives are for the marriage, then you can go ahead.

  • 1. As far as I understand, there will be no legal hrudles in this marriage, as the relation is too distant. There is no doubt about it.

    2. However, if you are a Hindu, you face social problem (to some extent) because your girl-friend and you will be considered sister and brother. So, it may be possible that some of your relatives may object to such marriage.

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  • Yes, it is true. You both are brother and sister but through distant relatives. So, it is like, if your family wants, you can get married but if they do not, then they can give excuses for that.
    It also depends upon the way your family has maintained the relationship with that boy's family. There are still many families living together or nearby in small places. In such cases, maybe the actual could be distant but due to residing in the same house or nearby it is counted as a close relation.
    Apart from the family views, you also need to consider the scientific reasons for not getting married among relatives. It is due to hereditary problems which may become dominant if make pair with the same or similar genes. For this, you should consult a geneticist who may study your family history or will conduct pedigree analysis.


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