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  • What is more important in life, career or marriage?

    Do you want to know if career is more important than marriage or vice versa? Looking out for all types of persepctives to both? Scroll through this Ask Expert page and get answers for all your queries.

    My cousin sister is 36 years old. She is doing MD from AIIMS, New Delhi. Now she is planning to do further career-related studies. She is not serious about marriage. Sometimes, she thinks about it. She gives much importance to her career. Career & money is all in all in our life. What do you think? Please share your view.
  • Answers

    8 Answers found.
  • By the way, the most important is your happy life, how you remain happy, yet both career and marriage have their place, but first, make your desired career and then think about marriage because after marriage your routine changes, your responsibilities will increase and you don't get much time to study from you and after marriage, the study on it completely Paying attention to your career is a bit difficult, whereas there is no responsibility on you before marriage. You can also focus your studies completely like you and make a good career.

    There is such a point in everyone's life when after marriage it seems that not only our marriage but all things related to us have also changed. Pre-wedding shoots on social media, wedding photos, honeymoon photos, and everything related to marriage only. Well, this is good for people who get a partner of their choice. But for those people who do not get a good life partner even after going through all these social customs, it is not less of a burden for them. It is not necessary that you can make your life happy only by getting married. You can be happy even without marriage, it's completely her choice.

    Marriage is part of life, not life
    Most of us think that the purpose of life is to get married and settle down and have children. As soon as we start thinking about a good friend or good partner, our society starts reminding us that now is the right time to get married.

    Think about your dreams
    It is better to always think about marriage than to think about your dreams which you have seen since childhood. Start living your life. It is claimed that you will be more relaxed.

    Your husband and marriage are not only your identity
    If you think that by being called someone's wife, you will get respect and protection in society, then you are thinking wrong. Marriage just adds some dimension to your life. In society, you have to create respect for yourself.

    Nothing but age is just a number
    A girl should get married in her twenties and have children before 30 years, only then your life will be considered complete, it is totally wrong to think. It should be tied up with someone only when you are confident about spending your whole life with it.

    Everybody only talks about marriage. It is not that there is no life without marriage. You decide about your marriage only when you find the right time and the right person then only think about marriage.

  • Your cousin sister is persuing her M.D . and that would not be her ultimate destination. May be she would like to have some more qualifications of her choice suiting to her needs. Qualifications alone would not satisfy the medical professionals, they would like to serve ailing patients with full dedication so that they are effectively diagnosed and get cured ultimately under their care.
    Some medical professionals are so immersed in their activities such as frequent references of medical journals, investingating the case history of the patients, referring to medical texts in course of treatment of patients etc that they find it hard to have any marriage alliance.
    Fulfilling their ambition and earning of name and fame are their ultimate choice sometimes unless there is some interference from their parental sides or from their close relatives and well wishers. While involved in their profession with such passions, they would not like to relinquish this attachment.
    May be they would to like have some break in such rhythm approaching to forty - five and then they can think of their marriage.
    Your cousin sister has undertaken a path of serving the distressed humanity. If she feels fine with such a profession, she must be supported for this cause and let her decide her goal. Interfering unnecessarily would cause severe setback to both her physical and mental health.
    Hence your role should be proactive. If she is married forcefully, there will be total doom of her ambition.
    Let her enjoy the existing environment and in due course definitely she would like to have a match with a boy of coherent mentality. You may wait till she asks you to find a suitable match for her.

  • Career and money are not alone in our lives. At the same time marriage and children are also not ultimate. A person who devoted her 36 years in her life for studying and getting qualified should utilise her speciality for the betterment of needy and then only she will have the satisfaction. Now if you force her to marry and start her family life, whatever she learned will never be useful to society. So she should think of doing something for society.

    At the same time if she is completely in service she will never enjoy her life. If she neglects her personal life during her old age there will not be anybody with her to take care of her. So she can't completely go away with family live. So she has to marry and have laid at least. So she should try to balance both. She should choose a path which will give her satisfaction both in her professional life as well as personal life

    Let her complete her MD. Then she can start practising. During this, she can be in the lookout for a suitable doctor in the field and likes to marry a girl in the medical profession. Then if the thoughts and other issues match she can marry that person. Then both of them can lead a happy life and serve the people together. They can complement each other. One can understand the problems in their profession and will never have any issues. If possible both of them can start a common clinic and do the practice.

    Their family life will also be good. So after some time, she may slowly concentrate more on her personal life and some time for the patients. I feel this is the best way one should do justice to both the issues. She has to think in these lines and start pursuing a career as well as personal life also.

    always confident

  • You should have started a thread in the discussion forum instead.

    Career is more important than marriage is a standard answer. When someone is well-established in her/his life then only she/he should think about marriage. It also takes some months/years in finding a good life partner for marriage. Marriage is a socially and legally certified bond between two people but both of them should keep in their mind that marriage brings a lot of responsibilities for both of them which includes extra expenditure. They should mentally be prepared for accepting the challenges in a new phase of their lives. They should understand that mutual understanding, tolerance, ignoring shortcomings, assisting and standing shoulder to shoulder by each other are indispensable qualities for a successful and happy married life. After marriage, they become parents of their babies also which brings them some more responsibilities.

    As far as your cousin is concerned she has already crossed the age of marriage. She is no more a girl, rather she is a woman, and every minute of the clock is pushing her towards oldness of "an old woman". Her beauty and charm will gradually start decaying.

    Marriage should be solemnized at the right time and the right age to live a happy married life. Marriage is not merely for s--x. It's normal in a pre-marital relationship. Marriage is the matter of commitment between a couple, between parents and their children, between them and two families and relatives. Indeed your cousin is a well-educated lady, but socially, she is still in the primary section.
    She is a matured woman who does not need our or your suggestions. It's her life and she has freedom to decide what is best for her and we have no right to suggest what she should do and what she shouldn't do.

  • Career and marriage are the two faces of the same coin. They may not be seeing each other but when the coin rolls both go ahead. So, this problem is to be seen in light of the purpose of our life and the limit of our aspirations and personal life. It is said that a balanced life is the best way of living in this world and any type of extreme is a thing which might give a temporary satisfaction and pride but in long run it could become a matter for repenting and repenting late in our life has no use as it does not give us an opportunity to correct our mistakes.

    Career is most important thing in our lives and we aspire for the best to acquire the success and associated glory in our life. Everyone yearns for that. We do a lot of hard work to achieve that success and make a career finally to settle in. While pursuing these career goals sometimes when we look back then we find that our personal life has stagnated and is standing much back in comparison to our success and we are in a fix as what to do at this stage and how to assemble the personal life back parts of which are not being seen anywhere nearby. Nature has made us to have a balanced life and we due to our higher consciousness level make it in a different way and try to neglect the natural demands. Result is disastrous and though we get something in our lives but we also terribly lose something which is equally important.

    So, what I would suggest is keep the career at the number one agenda in ones life but do not ignore the other equally important matters and we have to learn to coexist for various demands in our lives. For those who have decided not to marry, the course of action would be different but those who want to raise a family should go for it early in the life. Delay in going for that will delay many personal things in life. One has to raise the children in time and do their schooling before getting retirement. Delay in our life in any aspect is going to be a setback later whether it is a carer related delay or personal life management delay. Making a great carer does not mean that person will forget about ones personal life.

    Knowledge is power.

  • Around us, we can see examples of any choice and alternatives.
    Many women are having both career and family life and success in both. It is after all a personal choice.

    In men also, some people remain as bachelors by choice but excel in their carer or responsibilities. The same applies to women also. Religions permit men and women to remain unmarried and be in the service of God and/or fellow humans.

    But for an average ordinary human being belonging to the vast majority, family life is a basic social, personal, biological, and psychological need. There is an invisible but well followed pre-set format for our lives. While all the other living things follow the naturally set pre-formatted lives it is only the humans who dare to change that and formulate their format of life.

    In the case of your cousin, there are many living examples of women in the medical profession doing excellent service in their profession as well as leading a normal family life. We see many couples both in the same medical profession. That way they can understand and adapt to the unique needs of their professional requirements and also adjust it accordingly to suit and support their personal family life too.

    In the daily newspaper, I read I get to see news reports with photos of many women who got Doctorates and other academic achievements or some achievements in their profession. In their details, I usually get to read 'she is the wife of so and so." So it is clear that if one will then one can continue with career and family life provided one may need to adapt and adjust suitably to conduct both smoothly. In such cases, one can see that each supports the other.

    In modern-day life, there are many facilities which make our life far easier than the early generations. So, one can have different worlds at the same time.

    To bring out a medical doctor, not only the individual or parents spend money and time, but even the society (government) spends a lot of resources. So such personnel definitely should remain in their career to pay back the society and fellow humans what he/she gained from them.

    However medical profession has its stress and pressures and a doctor needs a soothing family to stand by and give a cushion effect to refresh and energize. The best practical way is to marry a person in the medical profession. That way they can be partners supporting not only in life but even in their career also.

    To summarise, in short, I suggest your cousin can have both a career and family life that way. She need not forsake one for the other.

  • In our society women are not the primary bread earners for the family though they are free to make a career if they wish to do so. Women have more responsibility towards family in the sense that they have to take care of the children and help them to grow up in an affectionate environment. So, a woman has to consider raising a family at an opportune time otherwise at later age having children and taking care of them becomes a difficult task. Everything in our lives have a time for it and we cannot delay that indefinitely. I would say that one has to keep a balance in this regard and though career making is also an important thing but a timely marriage is not an impediment for a successful career. I know some women medical doctors who got married while doing MBBS itself and did their degree successfully along with the family life. It is not that if one is following a career line one cannot go for marriage. These two things are not against each other. They are in fact two sides of a coin only and can coexist.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • It depends on person to person. For some people career, money are more important than the family life so they chose study even they are at the age of being getting married.

    As your cousin is already 36 years so theoretically she should have been married by now but if she is not interested in the marriage then she might be having some personal reasons for not doing it. And she may not be willing it to share among the people.

    In India this is an issue that when a female doesn't marry at the higher age society starts looking at her strangely but that's not a culture in the foreign countries where people don't Marry in their life but adopt kids if they wish to extend their family or start living in a live-in relationships.

    I would say that if your cousin is not marrying then there must be reason for it and it's not essential that she has to share it with anyone.

    For me happy family life is always important than the career because you cannot buy happiness with the money.


    " The two most important days in your life are the day when you are born and the day you find out why? "
    – Mark Twain

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