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  • Can I marry a girl who is supposed to be a cousin

    Do you have a query regarding marriage among cousins? Want to know if such a marriage is the right way forward? You can scroll through tihs Ask Expert page for advice regarding this question.

    I belong to Hindu family and I accidentally met a girl in our office. Then we started liking each other. In our caste there are so many subfamilies, in that only few families can marry each other and some other families become brother- sister.
    Recently I came to know that, the girl whom I liked belongs to subfamily in our caste, who is supposed to be my cousin sister. According to subfamily other than this subfamily relation, we are no where connected or familiar to each other.
    Can I marry her?
    Is this brother sister marriage avoided only to avoid genetic disorders?
    If I marry her we may become the bad example of brother-sister relationship in this society.
    Need advice.
  • Answers

    9 Answers found.
  • There are many aspects to this relationship and let us understand it in details. Traditionally in Hindu society marriage between close relations like sister or cousin was not thought as ethical. But in many Hindu tribes itself, it is allowed. So, it depends on the traditions of the tribe to which you belong and as mentioned by you in your case it might not be considered a good thing. You are also having apprehensions about it that what the society would say about this.
    The legal position in this matter is that as per the Special Marriage Act 1954, marriage in close relations is illegal. It is mentioned that relationship extending to three generations in mother side and five generations in father side, known as Sapinda relationships, are restricted for the Hindu marriages in the eyes of law in our country.
    Another aspect in this matter is that though some medical research is already going in the field of effect on offsprings in close marriages and there are some concerns that some of the children might get some hereditary diseases in this type of relationships. This is still a matter of investigation so one need not to consider it a prime factor in this issue.
    As regards the social aspect, yes, it is true that if it is not a common thing in your society then people would comment and criticise on it and it might affect the marriage of your children in future as some of them would spread this message and many others would avoid to have relationship in your future family. But these things are always there when you take a bold move. So, I think that it should not be such a deterrent in this case.
    You have to consider these factors before taking a decision in this matter and marrying with your cousin.

    Knowledge is power.

  • Cousin in English has a wide meaning. As for as your question concerned you can marry a girl who is a daughter of your mother's brother or father's sister (either elder or younger) without any question. It is a right relationship only. Provided you, if you are following, get compared the horoscope match etc., As for as relation concerned she is right relation to you for marriage. Marrying a girl of this type will bring a harmony in your family as she will understand your house formalities and procedures well than any one.
    If the girl is a daughter of your father's brother or mother's sister,it is not advisable to marry her as the girl is related to you as your sister.

  • As per the Special Marriage Act, 1954 marriage in close relations is not allowed. There is a term called Sapinda. As per that if the relationship is within the three generations in the mother side and five generations in the father side, the marriages will come under this special Act.
    Even in Hindu religion based on the caste of the persons, there are different practices in different castes. In Telugu Hindu, it is allowed that a boy can marry his father's sister's daughter but not the mother's sister's daughter. But in some other places marrying the mother's sister's daughter is allowed. This all depends on family practices. So you can see the practices in your family.
    If the relation is not a very close relationship and if there is no blood relation there may not be any problem in marrying the girl. It will never set a bad example. If you both like each other and if you feel you both can go together you can go ahead. You can also take the opinion of your parents and the girl's parents and you can decide based on the conditions.
    Genetical problems can't be ruled out. Medically people say the chances of getting genetic problems are high in close relations marriage. But in your case, this is not a very near relation and in such case, there may not be much problem in your case.
    I don't think your marriage with this girl will not bring any problems for your sisters and brothers in getting good matches from them. You are marrying the same religion and same caste marriage. The relation is not very close and you need not think about that aspect.

    always confident

  • The gotra system was created so that the ancestors of a person could be known. According to experts, thousands of years ago, all his disciples took initiation with sages and sages. Mutual marriage etc. was prohibited between them. Their descendants also upheld this tradition. These disciples belonged to different castes but their gotra was determined according to the name of their guru. Traditional marriage systems prohibit marriage in a gotra. Still, in many areas of the country, a gotra does not get married, but in 1955 the Hindu Marriage Act was created and all the old customary laws were changed.
    All want the law to be interpreted accordingly. These people also want to explain that for their convenience. But the law can only be interpreted to a certain extent by someone, not after it. After knowing everything, if someone wants to disobey the law, then he should be ready to face the consequences. The reality is that the Hindu marriages act prohibited marriages in separated marriages and restricted relationships. But at the same time, it has also been given that such a marriage can be done if the tradition allows it. But in such a situation, when someone calls marriage valid according to tradition, then one has to prove that tradition. Now you might want to know what are sapinda and restricted relationships? The Hindu Marriage Act itself defines spontaneous and restricted relationships.
    Secondary relation-
    About any person, the spindle relationship will be called the descendants of up to three generations in the mother's line and the descendants of up to five generations in the father's line. The row will be counted upward concerning the person concerned and the person concerned will be considered the first generation. Two persons will be called each other if one person is the ancestor of the other in a row or they both have the same ancestor in the relationship.
    We can see here that a man's maternal uncle's daughter will have a strong relationship because the man's maternal grandfather and the woman's grandfather will be the same person. Similarly, there will be a separate relationship with the daughter of the aunt because the grandfather of the man will be the maternal grandfather of the woman. We will thus calculate up to three generations in the mother's relationship and up to five generations in the father's relationship to identify the Sapind.

    Restricted Relationships
    Apart from shaping relationships, the Hindu Marriage Act prohibits certain relationships.
    1- if there is an ancestor of another.
    2- If there is an ancestor or wife or husband of the same Vansh.
    3- If the other's brother, or father or mother's brother, or grandfather or grandmother's brother's wife.
    4- If there are two siblings, uncle-niece, aunt-nephew, or siblings, or two siblings, or two sisters.

  • While recalling up special Hindu Marriage Act enacted in 1954, close relationship contracting to marriage is to be avoided. The close relationship of the duo is known as Sapinda relationship. This will include three generations from mother's side and for the father's side it is calculated up to below five generations.
    Even if you ignore this point, there is also the psychological angle which will hover within the mind of couples that their relationship is illegal due to their relationship of brother and sister.
    Then again the couples will have the psychological stress in adjusting with the people of their own societies where they will have to face the comments of the societies very frequently making their relationship tensed.
    The other point relates to genetics which states that any disease prevailing in either of the couples are further aggravated due to the marriage of the close relationship.
    In order to avoid any health complications both of you may get your blood tested to know your health conditions apart from other tests as suggested by your doctor. Ensure that both of you are free from mental diseases, diabetes, tuberculosis, kidney and liver problems etc.
    Take the opinion of the specialist how such a relationship is going to affect your issues in relation to their health - both physical and mental one.
    If no abnormality is detected through the pathological tests and other tests recommended by the specialists and if both of you are matured enough to tolerate the odd remarks of the societies, both of you can go ahead for the culmination of marriage.
    You must ensure that there is no objection from your parental side and the same thing is applicable to your fiancé.

  • Right from the beginning, there has been a custom in Hindu family that marriage between the same gotra is prohibited. If both of you are cousin then definitely will be belonging to the same gotra. So, it is restricted but in every family situation not like that.
    Moreover, as per the Hindu marriage act 1954, the near relationship is not allowed. In other words, it is called a sapinda relationship in which three generations from mother's side and five generations from father's side comes under this marriage. This kind of marriage is not allowed.
    From the biological point of view, generally born baby from close relationship having more chances of a biological problem. So, marriage between close relationship is restricted. In a tribal society, such kind of marriage is allowed.
    You should take advice from family member too, regarding this marriage.

  • Sapindas is a term which restricts cousin marriages in Hinduism and according to Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 it is up to third generation of mother and fifth generation of father, as it's also easily knowledgeable that who were the ancestors up to 5th generation from father's side and who were ancestors up to 3rd generation from mother's side.

    Now you have to see if you or the girl have any relationship from father's side up to fifth generation or mother's side up to 3rd generation, then according to Hindu marriage act you can't marry.

    As far as society is concerned you will have to see it. If such marriages are not considered as bad you can do easily but if your society does not allow you then it all depends on you. It's entirely a family matter , so it's better you should talk to your parents also. If your family does not allow you, then you can't expect from other people that they will accept your marriage. However, if legally you are entitled to marry then see what you have to choose- your marriage with a girl who do you like or refrain. from marriage because of fear of society.

  • I would suggest that you take the help of your (both sides) parents.
    First you discuss the matter with your parents. If it is a prohibited relationship legally or by community/family tradition or by normal societal values, then they will tell you not to proceed with the matter. If so you can discus the matter with the girl and as two mature adults you can accept the same and remove the intention of marriage. But you can continue to be two good friends or family friends.

    However if it is not that much close relationship and marriage can be conducted then parents will tell that. In that case only other matters will come to be considered. That you can convince them by having all the facts and data and details.

    It is better to have a marriage with full consent and agreement of both side families. Alter all marriage is taken a extension of families by alliance.

  • Such type of marriages are against the rules of Hindu tradition. Vedic culture opposed such activities. In addition, it becomes sin so that many adverse things would be happened in future generations. Samething is being preached in Puranas also.

    I believe in a positive attitude. I like those who criticize me.

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