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  • Category: Indian Law

    I want divorce but my wife intentionally is not ready to give me divorce


    Suffering torture from spouse and want to file for a divorce? Want to know how to get the divorce? On this ask epxert page yo can check out repsonses to this query abd decide how to provceed for filing for a divorce.

    I want divorce but my wife intentionally is not ready to give me divorce.
    I have been tortured by my wife from 7 years. I am disturbed and want to commit suicide at one point. She says that I will never give you divorce intentionally. Lots of times she has also told me that she will make a fake police case against me. What I do now?
    Can you suggest how to get divorce? She will harass me on silent basis.
  • Answers

    9 Answers found.
  • Many gents are suffering like this. But this society always thinks that the male is at fault even though there is no fault of him and even though the problem is with the other party. But We can't help. The general impression is that a man will harass the women. Some ladies take this as an advantage and behave as they like. I know a lady who used to beat her husband if he is not giving her the desired money.
    You are mentioning that you are being tortured by her. Do you have any proofs for that. Are you staying togetherDid you make any recordings when she was telling that she will make fake cases against you. Do you have any children? Unless otherwise, we know all these points we may not be able to suggest you properly. I feel it is better to have a discussion with her openly why she id behaving with you. What is the reason for such behaviour. Go to a person who is close to her and know you also well. Explain the facts and ask that person to explain the same and see that she will accept your proposal. If still, she is reluctant, you should go to a good Lawyer and make him send a notice to her and proceed legally for the divorce.

    drrao
    always confident

  • In your case when you want a divorce but your wife refuses from divorce intentionally, you will have to file a separate petition in Court under Article 13 of Hindu Marriage Act for Contested Divorce where you can seek the divorce on the special ground provided in this Article.

    Grounds for Divorce under this Article are:
    1. Adultery after marriage
    2. Cruelty to you or your family
    3. Converted her religion
    4. Suffering from any incurable mental disorder
    5. Suffering from leprosy or any other communicable disease
    6. Presumption of death i.e. missing from last 7 years or more
    7. Child marriage
    8. No resumption of cohabitation for last 1 year or more
    9. getting maintenance from husband but not cohabiting with him from last 1 year or more.

    You will have to prove any one of the ground in the Court. You will have to file a petition in family court and prove the ground. Upon examination of the petition, if the court satisfied will summon the other party. The court will also give a suggestion of mediation. on failing of mediation, examination and cross-examination of witnesses and evidence will be done during the case hearing. After the final argument divorce will be granted. So, you can file for a Contested Divorce, if your wife doesn't want a divorce.

  • For taking a divorce one has to approach the court of law or family court of law in one's area with some valid reason for divorce and there are lawyers available who take up these cases and help the aggrieved persons in this regard as many legal aspects are there in such cases. But before that let us try to understand the situation from a logical and rational point of view and try to think of some other recourses as legal recourse is always the last one in such circumstances. If you can prove in the court that she is really torturing you then court can give a verdict in your favour. There are many other issues like children as with whom they will stay and financial and property distribution between the couple and this is all very complicated but in extreme situation there is no other way except going for all this hassle.

    Marriage is a contract between the two persons for understanding and having a faith in each other for the life time. It is not a child's play that you throw and break a toy and get another one. There should be mutual respect and concern and also sacrifice in this relationship and without these elements no marriage will be a successful one. It is very clear that as the boy is from some background marries a girl from some other background then it is natural that there will be differences between them in various matters when they start to live together. To accommodate each others shortcomings and deficiencies is the main thing in the married life and most of the couples are today living happily because they were capable to live together in an amicable and adjusting manner. It is a give and take relationship and both the members have to sacrifice for each other.

    You have to recollect how all this started and what were the events which fuelled the wrath of your wife towards you. Was it only from her side or you also did something that made her so much angry and hostile that she is not able to control herself and is now revenging in such a torturous manner. You have told your part of the story to us but the parts if any omitted by you are also important to understand the whole thing in a holistic manner. I leave those things up to you to join them honestly from start to end and see how much responsible you are for her aggression and how much is attributable to her. Please try to find out whether it started just after the marriage or a significant gap because that will decide the things in proper perspective to find out the role of your wife in bringing this critical condition.

    Love and affection are the only things which can bind people together and if it is missing in your case then the only recourse will be go for divorce. In that case you must discuss with the lawyer about the aspect of property distribution, her jewellery, her marriage time gifts, your paternal property etc because in divorce cases all these will be discussed in details as both of you will have to live separately with the resources which are available with you today jointly. The question of keeping children will also come in the discussions and decisions.

    Women are by nature kind and soft hearted and if she is doing these things under some compulsions or due to some other reasons then resolving those reasons would be a better approach rather than divorcing her. If you hate her then I can't say much but if you still love her then make an eleventh hour try to woo her back in your life and things could be same again as earlier. It is worth trying a truce in this situation rather than going for separation which is always the last recourse.

    Knowledge is power.

  • Marriage is an important decision in life and divorce is a bigger decision, so do not make any decision in haste. The relationship that you have given for 7 years may give you some more time to make your relationship stronger. Both the responsibility and feelings of both husband and wife are important in a marriage relationship only then the relationship becomes strong. So before making any decision, do these things -

    After all, what is the problem - Prudence and patience are very important in a relationship like marriage, so before taking any decision, it is definitely the main problem to think about, talk to your wife and think about her wishes from her point of view. It may be that the matter is not so big and some solution to your problem is found so that your relationship will not be broken.

    Talk with family - Marriage is not only a relation between two people but it is also of two families and if more people are connected in this relationship, then talk to your family members before taking any decision. Apart from family, you can also take advice from other special people in your life.

    Give the relationship a little time - Many times we make hasty decisions and later regrets just leave, so give time to your relationship, give your spouses some time and try to understand them. Maybe you can improve the situation or the partner can improve himself according to you.

    If the situation is out of control - Divorce is a big decision for anyone, then if you have made sure that you want to end this relationship, you should contact a good lawyer who will give you details about the entire judicial process related to divorce.

    Normally these cases are settled under the family court and the first attempt of the court will also be to ensure that your relationship is protected. For this, the Family Court also provides you a family counseling with a counselor who helps you find solutions through interaction with you and your partner.

    The final decision is that of the husband and wife, if your wife is not wanting to divorce you, then you can file a petition under Section 13. But keep in mind that the legal process is very complicated and it will take a long time. Another important thing is that the financial burden falls on the husband in these kinds of cases of divorce, then be prepared for it as well. If possible, handle this matter according to the mutual agreement

  • Marriage is not a child's game. Whenever want played or whenever want broke. It is a life long relationship. To maintain this relationship, understanding and sacrifice both are compulsory. In this relationship, boys and girls both come from different background so definitely difference would be there. You should try to adjust in all possible way. You try to make understand her with love and affection. You try to know the reason why she behaves rudely. Even after all possible trying, she doesn't understand then you should consult from judiciary dept.
    Your matter will be solved in the family court of law. You will have to file a petition in court under article 13 where you have to prove your cause behind giving divorce. But, you must know that the legal process is not easy. It is time-taking as well as an expensive process. As far as possible, you should try to solve at home with the help of family and relatives. Always keep in mind that hasty decision always gives regret.

  • Though you are suffering from severe stress because of inhumane behavior of your wife and your decision to offer her divorce is not being materialized because of her obstinate attitude. Instead of being sentimental, you need to take a firm step so as to resolve this issue on your favour. You may try the following points in the normalisation of your existing relationship-
    1) You may take the help of a clinical psychologist who would conduct several sessions to find out the root cause of her abnormal behavior. You will have to extend your help to both your wife and the psycologist in finding out the real cause of her peculiar behaviour. This will certainly produce positive results if you have the patience.
    2) You have not indicated anything regarding the status of your issues. If you don't have any so far despite your married life, that might be one of worrying factors for her. Sort out this problem with the consultation of gynecologist so that she conceives with the proper follow ups.
    3) If you are a busy worker having no time for frequent talking or you don't go for outings at all, make it a point to consider these issues. These steps are vital in the restoration of the normal relationship.
    4) Mind it divorce is not only the solution which will lessen your worries in future rather it will aggravate your problems in future. It may disrupt your working in the office apart from loosing your interest in all the normal activities. Hence take every step to strengthen your ties to your level best.

  • There are problems in the life of many married people due to various conflicts and confrontations between the couple. It does not mean that one would simply go for divorce or have suicidal tendencies. Life is a journey where we have to solve the problems and resolve the differences and should not take a negative or escapist route. You have not mentioned when you did get married and how many children you have and whether you are living in a joint family or separately. Whether only you are working or your wife is also doing a job. All those things will have a bearing on this case and its subsequent status.

    During various Psychology and Management courses we had studied that for solving a problem the root cause is to be found out and if we can address that root cause then problem may end. What is, in your case, do you think could be the root cause? Is it your initial control and dictatorship on her that has brought this situation of revolt and revenge? Are the troubling in-laws have made her so aggrieved and irritating? Are you not giving her financial support and she is deprived of the basic money that a housewife should get? Is she like that from day one and you are now repenting for your decision to marry her? Was it an arranged marriage or love marriage? If you analyse these questions yourself then you will get some ideas to repair this relationship which has gone very bad and you are now complaining that she is torturing you.

    Do not take a hasty decision in the matter and see whether the relationship can be re-established. That would be the best course of action. Do not make it a prestige issue. The relationship in a married life is to give respect to each other and no ego should come in between. You should go for divorce only if the present situation is not at all conducive for you to continue. That is an extreme decision. If you finally decide for it then you can take help of a lawyer and lodge a court case against your wife and can get divorce but court car takes time and you will have to spend money for it and there are so many issues related to settlement of property and cash between you because even if you get divorce court after going through the details of your earnings and assets will give something significant to your wife to sustain herself. Legal processes are complicated and take a good opinion from an experienced lawyer in this matter.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • After reading your short query, I am of the intention that you are tortured mentally and thus would not like to reconcile with your partner and thus would like to approach diverse and as your wife is not ready to give you divorce, it can be a contested divorce i.e. when only one of the parties want a divorce on the ground of Cruelty (mental cruelty), Mental Disorder or adultery, etc.

    Documents you need to keep ready for a contested divorce:
    1. Present address proof of Husband & Wife
    2. Marriage photographs of the couple
    3. Marriage certificate
    4. Any proof or evidence supporting the reason under which divorce you want divorce like cruelty, adultery, desertion, lunacy, leprosy, the presumption of death, conversion to another religion, rape, sodomy or bestiality, etc.)
    5. Your Professional and Financial proofs(Husband & Wife)

    List of things that men should take care of before filing for a divorce:
    1. Separate all your joint accounts and credit cards - separate all your joint accounts in the bank and either cancel or change the password of your debit and credit cards.
    2. Maintain all the proof of communication - It is very essential as this will help you to get your divorce in a more poise manner which normally is not done by men.
    3. Do not indulge in any relationships until your divorce is complete - It is very essential to have a good image in court and thus being away from any relationship( It means with the opposite sex and not family members) will help to get a suppportive order from the court.
    4. Do not abuse - Even if your partner provokes you, do not indulge in any sort of abuse whether mental or physical at all costs as it can harm the proceedings and verdict from the court.
    5. Go for a good divorce lawyer - A good lawyer will help you with the divorce proceeding without dragging the case but will also protect your rights during divorce and get a reduction in the alimony that one will have to pay.
    6. Custody of Children - This is the most important as you both need to make a firm decision on this point. It can be sole or joint custody. The court normally gives more importance to the welfare of the child and to the parent who can bring up the child in a better way.
    7. Alimony - You need to discuss this point with your lawyer about the alimony amount(monthly or lump sum) that you will have to pay to your wife & children.
    8. Property - Be informed that if you'll have any residential property in joint name, then your wife will get 75% share and you will get only 25% share in the property i.e your wife will keep her 50% part and will also get half of her husband share that is from your share. She will also get an equal share in other properties like mutual funds, some business ventures, etc if any.

    Where one needs to file their divorce petition: One needs to file their divorce petition at the family court that falls under the jurisdiction of your matrimonial home i.e. the place where you stay at present or last lived as a married couple after your marriage or at the family court at the place where the marriage had taken place.

    The procedure for a contested divorce:
    1. Petition preparing for Divorce
    2. Filing of the Petition for Divorce in court
    3. Screening of the Petition by Court during the first hearing by the filing party
    4. Court asking the opposite side party to appear in Court
    5. Direction for mediation(counseling) for an amicable solution by the court
    6. Recording of evidence and hearing of issues, cross-examination, witnesses presentation, etc.
    7. Final arguments by both the parties before the judge and the judge pronounce the decision
    8. The final verdict by the Court with a limitation to file for appeal is 3 months from the date of the order or else, this will be treated as the final decision.

    After going through all the above point, do sit in a silent place, think again and again before taking this step as once it is moved, it can be very tedious, lengthy, physically and mentally disturbing, but if you are steady, willing and sure, do follow the procedure.

    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • It's sad to know that you have been tortured metally and physically for 7 years and you have been tortured to the level that you had decided to commit suicide once in the past.

    Divorce is easy if it's done through mutual consent otherwise it's not easy although there is a provision in our law to file a case if there is a situation when a partner is not willing to take divorce.

    The divorce in which either of the partner is not ready to accept divorce is contested divirce. In such cases there are few grounds on the basis of which petition can be filed. These are:

    # On the basis of the adultery : According to this if any of the partner is having a sort of physical relationship outside then in this situation a petition can be filed for divorce.

    # On the basis of the cruelty: In many of the cases it is seen that husband becomes violent and physically abuses his wife . It is sufficient to file a petition for divorce. Although it's very rare that wife physically abuses her husband but if she does then one can apply for the divorce. Cruelty is the sufficient on the basis of which divorce can be filed.

    # On the basis of Conversion: If either of the partner converts in to another religion without the consent of his/her partner then his/her partner can file a case for the divorce in family court or the district court.

    # On the basis of Mental and physical disorder: If your spouse is suffering from a mental disorder in which curing time is indefinite or suffering from a disease which is incurable and can spread through contact. Then the victim partner can suit a file for a divorce if she/he wish.

    In your case you need to take help of an advocate to prove that you are suffering mentally or physically from your spouse. If any one of the above points are related to you then it would be easy for you to get the divorce from her.

    Sanjeev

    " The two most important days in your life are the day when you are born and the day you find out why? "
    – Mark Twain


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