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  • How we can handle this situtaion

    Are you facing difficulty in convincing parents and siblings for an intercaste love marriage? Interested in finding techniques to resolve this situation? Sccroll through this page for responses from experts.

    I am in love with my brother's friend. When we came into relationship they were not talking to each other. Now we have decided to get married and need to convince my brother for this. My boyfriend forgot all fight and will try to talk with brother nicely. Now they have again become best friends.
    We are in realtionship since 5 yrs now. Now the problem is - my boyfriend is getting scared to talk with my brother because both are childhood friends.
    His cast and mine is totally different. I am maratha and he is jai bhim which is lower than my cast as per our families.
    His family and my family are orthodox and are against of love marriage because they think what people and society will say.
    He tried to speak with his sister and mother. They denied because they don't like my brother. He can't speak to his dad because he is a heart patient. Even he tried to speak with brother indirectly and asked my brother that I want marry your sister. My brother said no.
    I spoke with my mother but she is against of intercaste and love marriage.
    I tried to spoke with brother indirectly. He is against because of caste but I did not yet tell his name to my brother.
    One plus is there: that my brother told if a guy is genuine I will speak with our family but not having assurity whether my brother will accept his best friend as my would be my husband.
    We are in big problem guys. Need help. Everyday we are feeling like no way out is coming and we shud die now because me and my boyfriend can't hurt our families. We want them to be happy in our marriages. Can you give some better resolution since we can't to marriage without their permission.
  • Answers

    2 Answers found.
  • Both the families are orthodox and may not endorse your marriage. The boy asked indirectly your brother about marrying you but your brother did not accept. Their family did not accept his proposal and your family did not accept your proposal. The boy's father is a heart patient. This is a sensitive point and how he reacts if both of you go away from the family.
    By reading the entire episode I am feeling that convincing your families and getting married is not an easy task. It may take a long time and there is no guarantee that after a long time also they will accept. Before going ahead what I suggest is that both of you sit together for some time and discuss all the facts in detail. How far both of you are ready to leave your families, come out and get married. If you both feel that you both are ready for that, it is good you can think of all possible ways.
    As a final try, you can contact your brother and tell him the truth and inform him that both of you are in a relationship and want to get married. You can tell him that both of you are ready to leave the families and marry. He may get convinced and try to help you.
    If he is not ready to accept, only one option is left that is both of you has to go away and get married. Slowly the mindset of the family members may change and accept you both. But it will happen after a long time and you should get ready for staying alone for a long time.

    always confident

  • This kind of situation is very serious in terms of long-term relationships. You cannot go against the family if you wish their blessing for your future married life. One has to take all into confidence but the current situation and inter cast issue is the main problem here. I think, both the family needs to think and give their decision based on what they want not what society will say. There is no other option except convincing elders. Do not hurt the egos of family members as you will be then part of the new family and all will be in the same society.

    Dr. Paresh B. Gujarati.
    Mechanical Engineer.
    'I'mprovement always begins with 'I'.

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