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  • Category: Marriage

    Legality of marriage with a second cousin and related issues


    Unsure about the legality of marriage with a second cousin and looking for advice on convincing your parents? Find out the law related to Sapinda vis-a-vis marriage between second cousins from the mother's side and if acceptable by law how to convince one's parents.

    I am in love with my second cousin from the matrilineal side. I think we are out of sapinda because our common ancestor is our grandmother's mother. Is that correct? I would like to know how I can convince my parents. Would you please guide me with some suggestions for this?
  • Answers

    5 Answers found.
  • Your and her grandmother's mother. Your grandmother and her grandmother. Her mother and your mother. So the common ancestor is more than 3 generations from your mother side. That means your relationship will not come under Sapinda relationship. That way there will not be any problem legally.
    But your relationship will be like a brother and sister relation which is not actually suitable for marriage. In our family, such marriages are not allowed. It all depends on the family practices. Convincing family members will be a big issue in your case. Old parents may not accept the same easily.
    What are the relations your two families have is also a point of discussion. If the families are not very near and there are no close relations you can convince your family easily. Otherwise, it is very difficult.
    You have to take a call. Whether to be away from family or whether to forget that girl. Please have a detailed discussion with the partner and then come to a conclusion. You can marry her if you are ready to be away from your parents for some time. As time passes parents may become normal and they may take you into their fold. This also depends on other factors like financial position and family relations.

    drrao
    always confident

  • According to Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, Sapinda relationship is said to be existing there if the individuals are linked to each other extending as far as the third generation (inclusive) in the line of ascent through mother, and the fifth generation (inclusive) in the line of ascent through father. It is obvious that the line is to be traced upwards in each case from the person concerned counting him as first generation.
    So in your case you are legally out of that relationship and can go for that marriage. The only thing is you have also to honour the traditions and conventions being followed in your society and if you do not obey that you might will have to hear criticism from your own relatives and family members.
    Your parents might not bother for the Sapinda classifications and the legal requirements but they would not agree for the marriage in a close elation to avoid the social wrath. So, you may not be able to explain and convince them about this if they are already dead against it. So what is the way out? Only way is to go ahead in the matter boldly and take a decision based on your feelings towards the girl and acceptance by her parents. What are the views of her parents on this relationship? If they are also against it then your problems simply increase.
    Marriage is a lifetime decision and one has to be very careful before taking the decision in this regard. One has to check oneself about the relationship whether it is the infatuation of the young minds or is a matured love. If it is infatuation then please reconsider your thinking in the matter. If it is a serious love affair then there is no need to be afraid of anything. At the most your parents might disown you and do not entitle you in a share in their property and wealth and you should be prepared for that. You must be financially independent before taking a decision in this regard. Remember after the marriage the girl would be dependent on you if she is not in a job. That would be an added responsibly on you.
    Considering all these points one has to take a conscious decision in this regard and should not simply flow with the emotions and sentiments.

    Knowledge is power.

  • Though both of you are not covered under the sapinda relationship but the fact is you would not go beyond the social acceptance prevailing in your society. It would not be a fair decision to boycott the existing laws especially when both of you come under the relationship of brother and sister, though this relationship is not the close one.
    Let us examine how you will be affected with the culmination of this marriage. If either of you or both of you are of the view that it is an offence in going through such a deal. Even if someone is not pointing out the same, this type of sentiment would hurt you both in going ahead of the relationship. In that case, you might be taking a decision of dropping of this alliance.
    The another aspect is to consider the merits of such a companionship such as the attachment of the girl with you and her deep passion for you. She is the lady to be relied upon under the crucial circumstances. There is no symptom of her infatuation where there is no review of your personalities and traits. If she is devoid of such type of infatuation, you might go ahead for the marriage settlement.
    Though remaining on the job for the girl would not be necessary if your financial health is not going to impact the upbringing of the kids after your marriage. The entire family including your kids are enjoying all sorts of comforts, I would not recommend for a job for the girl once she accepts the marriage proposal.
    Be practical and come out of minor struggles affecting you in your final settlement. If needed, you may approach a marriage councillor for resolving the issues which are not clear to you. Hope he would resolve your doubts pertaining to marriage.

  • As mentioned above, your relationship doesn't come under sapinda relation so you are legally free for making a alliance. But, you have to look once towards society that whether this relationship is acceptable or not. As your relationship is somehow brother and sister relationship which are not acceptable to our society. That is one matter. Another point is as, you did not mention about your financial status? Both of you are working or not as it is very important point in today's world. If you are economic independent then you can handle your own situation. Otherwise, your future life would be hell. You should consult your family member in this regard. You should not take decision hurriedly. Marriage is done in life once. So, you should be careful before taking any decision. Oftentimes, It has been seen that love is just body attraction and after marriage boy don't want to take any responsibility especially giving birth of baby. So, be careful and select mature life partner.

  • Thank you dignitaries for all your valuable opinions.Although I would like to mention ,I am the girl and I can only see the answers here addressing to the boy,eventhough I haven't mentioned about the gender anywhere in the question.


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