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  • What are the steps to be taken if a spouse doesn't agree for a divorce or to live together?

    Are you facing issues with your spouse regarding a choice between living together or breaking the relationship? Are you looking for possible solutions, legally or otherwise? Check out this thread for detailed responses touching upon the various factors involved in the issue and for possible solutions.

    I got married in Jun 2018. It was an arranged marriage. We used to pick up fights on small issues but compromised later. After one year of our marriage, I left my wife at her parent's house and went to Saudi Arabia on a job. The problems started from there. She wanted my full salary and I shouldn't be asking the details of the expenses and savings from her. I had to use only that portion of my salary that was allotted to me by her.

    She was not willing to stay with my family. Then I argued lot and spoke harshly to her family. After two years I returned home but they are neither sending my wife with me nor is allowing me to meet her.

    At last her father asked me to file a divorce case and said that they won't object. I replied that I am not interested to file the case and told them to proceed if they wish to do so. This happened about 4 months before. But till date, they haven't moved for divorce and is still not allowing me to meet her. There is no contact with her.

    I don't know what to do. I apologized for any unintended mistake on my part but they are not ready to hear me.

    What should I do now? Can anyone give some suggestions, please?
  • Answers

    5 Answers found.
  • It seems the other side are subject to some serious misunderstanding or victim of your wrong acts, or they have some specific agenda.
    First of all make up your mind as to whether you want this relationship to continue. Whether you really and sincerely love her as your wife. If so, first try to contact her directly. But ensure that you talk decently, affectionately and in a peaceful way. Do not provoke her nor get provoked. Convince her that you really love her and want to continue the relationship afresh amending anything wrong from your side. If that fails, engage some real mature well wishers from your side to talk to them in a decent and peaceful atmosphere. Let them find what is the real issue behind the problem.

    If they find that your wife has no affection or love to you as husband and she has no interest to continue this relationship, without any valid cause from you, then it is better to consent for mutual divorce. Let some well wishers from both side be involved so that the case does not drag and does not get complicated by accusations and counter accusations. But if they get to know the real reasons and if it is rectifiable rectify that and try to rebuild the relationship afresh with all sincerity.

    Once you are sure that they do not want the relationship, then stop sending any amount to her. Then they will file a case.
    As of now form their not going for a case
    and not want to continue the relationship means they want to exploit the situation and have a specific agenda. If so do not fall a victim to that. Then you can take legal ways for restoration of your conjugal rights .But here you should be careful to get the advice of a real good lawyer.
    But before all that please self retrospect yourself and find whether you were a good husband and behaviour was good and proper from your side.

    If some issues do not get rectified by medicine, then surgery is the best solution. But be careful not t land in more complications.

  • In your case, this seems to be a tricky situation making you perplexed which could be the best way to restore normalcy in your conjugal life. Keeping your emotions in yourself is not going to solve your present situation but instead go ahead with the frank discussions with your wife asking her what could be beneficial for both of you under the current circumstances.
    However, go on the positive notes showing your inclinations towards her. You might say sorry for the trifle quarrels that occurred in the past originated from your end. Now you would like to start the relationship afresh and ask her to join this campaign to make the alliance successful. May be such cordial talks would help to rethink for the normalisation of the relationship. One more important thing what can be done at the present juncture that your talk should proceed in an atmosphere when the parent of your wife is not present otherwise it might create dislocation in normalisation of the relationship. Be tactful and cordial to her while you are negotiating with her.
    If nothing is coming out in your favour, it would better to break off the relationship since there is no point of continuation of this strained relationship. Ask her to suit a file for the divorce from her end. Allow her to have the retrospection of the current developments. If nothing is working as per expectations, you may go in for a lawyer to resolve this issue by offering a divorce from your end.
    It appears that the parents of your wife is having some issues in their mind lingering the strained relationships. This aspect has also to discussed before the lawyer making your separation case strong. You would certainly have a bright congenial life ahead once you are separated from her with the sustained efforts of the lawyer.

  • This is a classical case of spouse forcing the other partner to initiate divorce and take advantage of legal process in the matter. It is well known that divorce cases run for a quite long time and each of the partner tries to convince the court that it is the fault of other one who has asked for the divorce.
    From the details of your case it is very clear that your wife and her parents have become one composite party to trap you in the divorce proceedings and to get a good amount from you in the name of maintenance of your divorce wife. I would suggest you to consult a good lawyer in this matter and consider all the pros and cons of the case in case you are willing to initiate the divorce case or wait for the other party to initiate it.
    Please note that once the divorce case is over you will have to shell out a good amount to them and your financial condition will destabilize because of that regular expenditure.
    What I will suggest to you is that please try to contact them and convince them that there are always differences between the couple in this world but it doesn't mean that they would separate out. If they do not agree and understand your good words then do not initiate any divorce case against your wife and simply wait for the opportune moment when she initiates case against you and then you can give a correct statement in the court by telling that you have never ill treated her but she due to her own reasons is doing so and quitting. You also tell the court that as you are not forcing divorce on her, you will not be able to financially give her any support money every month after that separation.
    Keep patience and do not apologise for no fault of yours.
    If this situations is there because of your bad behaviour or cruelty on her then the story becomes totally different and my humble submission would be to apologise and promise that such things would not be repeated in future and then bring her back in your life.
    Please consider all the factors and pros and cons of the situation before going to take any concrete action in the matter.

    Knowledge is power.

  • This is a clear case that our in-laws and your wife want your money but not you. Leaving your wife with her parents and going out of the country is a mistake committed by you. You might have taken her with you or you might have left her with your parents. Now I am hearing many cases in which the parents are not giving proper suggestions to their daughter. Her parents should tell her that she should be with you but not with you. But they are not doing that. That means they want to get good money from you. That is why they are not allowing her to talk to you.
    The best way is to file a case against your in-laws saying that they are not sending your wife to you. Otherwise, you can send a legal notice to your wife asking her to come and live with you immediately. I know a person who is facing a similar situation in Hyderabad. He filed a case against his wife saying that she is not coming to live with him and she should come and stay with him. You can meet a good lawyer and explain the case. He will tell you about this option also. But one thing you should remember is that court cases will go on for a long time and if there is any out of the court settlement there that will be fast.
    When the court asks her why she is not going to you, she has to tell her reasons and your lawyer will counter those points. Please keep in mind that you should commit any amount to her to settle the matter. That will increase their hopes and they may increase their demand. Let her spell the amount and then you can decide. If you are asking her to come to you and if she refuses in the court, you will have an upper hand.

    always confident

  • It is good to note here that in those days, that is before 20 years, the marriage was easy and divorce was difficult. But now the situation is reversed marriage is very difficult and divorce is easy. The main reasons are
    1.Great expectations: Both boys and girls are with very great expectations about their forthcoming spouse. With that they are laying conditions to their parents or they themselves seeking persons with such expectations. This leads to late in their marriages and thereby the child birth is made at their later ages with which they made to suffer more and more.
    2. Lack of patience and understanding from the other's side is the second reason. Both the couples should understand the situation on that the other did or doing that. Everything they expect from other immediately without giving time margin.
    3.The couple are expecting from each other as of the other couples but without seeing their situations.
    4. Lack of elder's presence or advice or consulting. Many couple presently living purely secular family. They do not want visitors or relatives. With that action of theirs, relatives or friends hesitate to visit them.

    In the taken up case the couple both of them should come for counselling with elderly people of both sides.
    This matter should be taken to their family elders first rather than to court of law.
    No court or judge gives verdict for divorce or separation simply. Most of the judges of family courts try to solve the issues and merge them again to the wedlock life.

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