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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Children venturing to foreign countries for studies wont come back as promised ?

    I had been to one of my friend's house where in the old people are living and pulling on their life just by watching the videos and images sent to them by their children about their grand children progress in life. What they annoyed that their children who went for higher studies and promised to return were never done so and in fact they no only got married and had children and they are enjoying every bit of foreign life, totally forgetting the well being of parents and their welfare. Why children wont repent for their mistakes ?
  • #605142
    There is nothing here to repent or blame or feel guilty.

    My grandmother used to say " Life is like a flywheel". We have control moving one half, the other half goes by itself. The first half we live for ourselves, the second half we are compelled to live for our children. This was like that even for our parents and grandparents and great-great-grandparents time also. It is same for next generations also.

    Only very rare case someone live or get to live for their parents. Parents adjust, accommodate and re arrange their wish, need, hopes, aspirations and lifestyle in a way to be of help to children's welfare. Eventhough they may secretly wish that their children are with them, they will also understand the realities.

    In the case quoted in the thread, the elder parents wanted only the welfare of their children. So they sent them abroad. Those children also felt happy and they tried to keep their parents happy in someway they thought apt and feasibly optimum. Now they themselves have become parents and their priority is their own children. We cannot blame them. That is the traditional inherent sentiment.

    The reason for all this is the change in life style and needs and sources. Earlier it was sufficient if all the children stayed in same place, in the same occupation, same agriculture, etc. It was okay that a few hands earned and fed all others, because the main need was food. All in the family lived jointly under the same roof. Now needs have increased multitude. Each one wants to or has to earn and the sources are not sufficient in one place. So migration happens. This leads to separation and even desperation as in the present thread case.

    At least the modern facilities help in being 'connected'. I will say that blessed are those who get to stay together as a big family under one roof or at lest in close proximity.

  • #605145
    When we are in the middle age we want our children to come up in their life and become rich in their life. we encourage them to go to other countries . There these people will get accustomed to their life style and they feel comfortable there. Slowly their life style will change. They will become parents. Their children will become citizens of that country. They will not be ready to move from there. Here we will become old and start thinking about our children and grand children. But we are the reasons for their going there. So we have to blame ourselves for today,'s position.
    always confident

  • #605153
    Wow! Mr. Venkiteshwaran, you have explained it very nicely. It couldn't have been better said. It's just circle of life. People stay in foreign countries because there the facilities are better. It does not mean that they don't care about their parents, they do but they are also trying to provide better opportunities for their children. Even if they would have stayed in India, they would have gotten married and would have got a job and would have been busy in their life here as well. Even when kids live in the same country, they hardly meet their parents once or twice a year so it's no different than living in foreign countries.
    Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.

  • #605189
    Once the children have gone to greener pastures it is a difficult proposition for them to come back. Parents have to manage by themselves on the mercy of servants or relatives.

    It is a catch 22 situation. We want to send them to foreign lands for their welfare and rich life but at the same time we wish they could be with us.

    This has now become a very general problem of a large number of families as day by day students are trying to get jobs outside the country.

    Knowledge is power.

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