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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Group Discussion : Should there be simple marriages with less cost or only registered ones.

    Of late celebrating the marriage of daughter has become big challenge for the parents and especially to the father. Right from childhood he has been spending on the daughter for nurturing and also for her best education. Once the education is over, the next task would be to get her married with right groom. Again marriage means it is question of lakhs of rupees spending even though the celebrations would be normal and minimal. The parent is battered with loans and borrowings for the marriage. Should there be simple marriages in future with minimum expenses or even registered marriages would be preference ? Discuss.
  • #608790
    I would say that it's not parents who should take up the cost bearing of their children's marriage. Earlier girls were not educated so parents had to start saving or borrowing for their daughter's marriage and since all the expense was borne by the bride's side it got burdened on them and it would take sometimes even years for the parents to recover from that debt.

    Instead, why don't we children spend on the marriage expense which can be shared by the groom and the bride and not by the families? Our parents have already done their best by educating us and have made us capable enough to earn. Simple marriages with minimum expenses or lavish marriages or registered marriage, its the choice of the people who are getting married. If the couple comes forward to bear the expense or if at all required they can take the loan in their names and later on repay it in their own sweet time instead of the parents taking up the loan for marriage expense.

  • #608793
    Neethu you raised a good point here. When the daughter starts earning , the father wont even enjoy the benefit and tries to see alliance for her. If the daughter herself can manage the marriage expenses of her, then could be turning point for the future generation to follow.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #608795
    A good thread by Mohan.A very good suggestion by Neethu. A welcome suggestion. Earlier days bride groom used to take dowry. Recently the trend changed. Many of the parents are not looking for a Dowry. Girls also changed their ways. They are not dimply telling Ok to the words of others. They are also having their views. This is a welcome trend. Coming to expenses both sides expenses will be there. For Bride's side it may be a little more. If parents are not able perform the marriage with out loans,the suggestion given by Neethu will really work.
    The decision of spending for marriages has to be taken by the both the parties involved. An important point to note is no one should take loans for the marriage expenses. By both the sons got married. Both are arranged marriages only. No dowry. I have spent money from reserves for both the functions. I have not taken any loan. So the method of marriage should be decided by both the parties involved.

    always confident

  • #608796
    I also agree with Neethu, when we have started earning, we should obviously help our parents in our marriage so that they do not have to face any sort of financial issues that time. Our parents already do a lot since our childhood, our nourishing and everything even till our college. But after that we the children should understand and feel our responsibilities towards marriage or other things. Marriages are going to be simple or registered ones or highly luxurious that is on the thought of the person.
    Yes, in middle class family it gets tough to do marriage with less money and parents have to take up loans for that but if we children take up the responsibilities, parents will not get burdened at that time.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #608797
    This is a problem or rather say a menace in our society. Even the most educated and highly rational people are trapped in this net.

    Those who have money have full rights and privileges to perform the marriage in their houses with all fun and glory as it is also called pomp and show. What about those middle class and below middle class citizens who can not afford this type of expenses but due to social and peer pressure are forced to take loan or stretch themselves to unwanted limits.

    This is very unfortunate that we are not able to come out of this black hole.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #608799
    When I tried to hand over my first salary to my father, he firmly refused to accept it. This continues even after 28 years. So, I will try to follow my father in this regard. I won't accept my daughter's income when she would start earning. There is nothing like male-female here. This is only a matter of principle.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #608811
    Should simplicity needed only in marriages?

    Mahatma Gandhi asked us all t have simple life (and high thinking).
    People who have the wherewithal and who want to put up a show of their wealth and status spend millions in celebrating birthdays of their pets. Those who have the capacity splash do not spare any occasion to celebrate. While many ordinary people open 'bottles' to celebrate, amply rich people spend money in any way to celebrate any occasion.To dictate simplicity only marriage is just typecasting. resorted to by media.

    Marriage registration is mandatory and a legal requirements to establish and decide on various rights, duties and liabilities. If someone wills marriage can be concluded just by registering a marriage by complying with required formalities. But how many -including the bride - are willing to make it so simple? Each one in the family of both bride and groom will have their own aims, wish and interest in a marriage in the family. So the spend expands from the number of invitation card printed to the required capacity marriage hall , diner and party , then honeymoon etc. Nowadays marriages are made as packaged events.

    When rich people spend the not-so-rich also want to imitate at least in a scaled down version. After all in what way they are inferior to the rich? All are equal i modern world. Individual lenders and credit institutions are there to lend for such purposes. So everybody is able to spend a lot on such events.

    Even the most simple nowadays needs at least a few videographers to flash all those events in FB (live or otherwise)and other social media.

    I am sure marriages will be more splashy and flashy in future. Unlike in the early days,the ease and frequency of divorce can, in future, give chances of celebrating more than one marriage in one's life and would help making them better than the previous ones.

    Marriage event managing may become the most rewarding business in future. Guest may be entertained with lucky dips in reward for the 'likes' or some similar popularity measures. No way to see simple marriages.

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