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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Do we still value our relationships?

    Has the value of relationships decreased today? Do we give the same importance to relationships as it was earlier? Has relationships lost its value in the present scenario where people are finding it difficult to manage time? Many questions arise when we give it a serious thought. Let us discuss the topic covering the various related angles.

    We human beings need to communicate with each other to spread our thoughts and share our views. Without communication, nothing can be achieved. Without communication, we will be like dumb jokers. Speechless and nothing to say.

    We need to express, define and share ourselves, we need to speak to be heard among individuals, among masses. With speaking and sharing, we maintain relationships with people. Some become our close friends, some become random friends and some may be just friends or mere acquaintances. Most importantly, we have our blood relations since the day we are born. Some of us maintain those relationships, while some of us remain very reserved and again, some of us have an attitude of 'Tit for Tat'. If the other person makes an effort to meet us, we will also meet them and keep maintaining the relation same way.

    Are we still valuing our old relationships; the way our parents have maintained them always, the way our elders cherish every relationship and value them? What we have been noticing these days, as we are getting more educated and more aware, is that, we are losing our valuable relationships and some of us do not give much importance to them. Like I said, some play a tit for tat game. We have become so busy and occupied, that we do not even find time for our friends. Life has become such a hustle bustle.

    Are we forgetting the importance of relations in life with the passing time? What are your opinions on this?
  • #609794
    What I understand from my personal life so far that we are living under the illusion that we are the most important and required person in the relation and also in the society. But the system of living in this earth already planned and whether we are there are not , our presence is not at all required and felt by others . In that circumstances giving too much credence to relations and importance is the foolish thing. Those who are elders at the home have the feeling that the entire family should be before then and prosper in front of their eyes. But again in this competition world , nothing comes ready made and one has to toil to reach the goal. Now the present day children are exposed to their parents only and very rarely they go to the blood relations house and thus over a period of time even that would be stopped.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #609798
    All of us value our relationships in life, be it a friend, spouse, family member, blood relatives, colleagues at work etc. What some of us don't realize is the fact that all relationships are ultimately based on a give-take basis and cannot be maintained at the same ideal levels that everyone wants.

    Many factors influence the relationships we have - time, place, distance, changing traditions, new commitments, new circumstances, having to prioritize these individuals and the changes in both parties concerned.

    It is humanly impossible to have all relationships going at the same tempo and idealism. We have to have a core group of individuals whose relationships we should cherish. By the law of averages, we would be making additions and subtractions. The second group is opportunistic relationships which many of us cannot do it, I neither groom or shun such relationships, just allow time to take its course. No point in wasting time trying to mend these.

  • #609809
    @#609794 .. Agree with you Mohan Sir... As per the present scenario, children are not exposed to their family and relatives and so this bonding is fading away slowly.

    #609798 Natarajan: It is not only about tempo of the relationships, it is about the importance and essence of it. Values that I talked about in terms of meeting each other or interacting at times. We help each other at times only when needed. Everybody is dependent in this world.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #609812
    The human being is a social animal. He on his own can't-do everything. He requires somebody else also with him for fulfilling his ambitions. Even after death also we require minimum 4 people to carry us to the burial ground. Some people say no we can go in the van. But even for the van, we require a driver. The individual we died can't drive the vehicle. So we have to have some relations and we have to maintain them
    There are some relations which will come to us by virtue of our birth. The father, mother, brother and sister etc., will come to you by birth. We marry. Then our family become, wife, husband and children. In addition to that, we will be having friends during our education, we will have colleagues where we are working. Some of them will become your friends. It is our duty to maintain good relations with them. Give and take policy is one way. Another way is if we help him today, we may get help from somebody else on the day of requirement. Keeping this in mind, we should always maintain good relations. If somebody is not good with you, leave him. No problem. You can have other contacts. But to help somebody doesn't think of give and take policy.

    always confident

  • #609813
    Our priorities change with time. Comparing ourselves with how our parents functioned is not practical. They lived in a different time, had different challenges and pressures.

    I can compare myself, with myself. I have not changed in the way I function or deal with people. I have maintained friendships for years. Yes, people move on and I don't blame them. They perhaps find other people, with whom they are more comfortable and compatible or chose to distance themselves from me, for reasons best known to them. I do not close communication channels unless of course the other person is vile and my being around them affects my mental health. In that case, I do not hesitate to cut off ties or distance myself. I do not want to be surrounded by negative people because it can play havoc in your life.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #609876
    #609813 Juana Mam : I do not think Practicality has much to deal with our relationships with people around us. I agree that we should be practical in life and avoid people who are negative and selfish. But being practical does not mean that we should be separate and away from the people who love us. Also, its us who do not try to make an effort to meet the people, even if it is our friends or relatives. Moving on is a different thing, my concern here was for meeting and maintaining relations with people we already know.
    Whether we are adopting that quality from our parents, it is completely dependent on us and our own thoughts.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #610020

    I don't think we can deny the fact that we have become too materialistic today. We have started looking at everything, including relationships, based on the benefits, monitory or otherwise, we derive. I think the value of relationships have started to decline from the time we started pondering over the need to maintain a relationship. Lack of time, busy/ conflicting schedules, nuclear families, dispersal to different areas etc might have contributed to the decline in relations but I feel the most important factor that contributed is our tendency to measure relations and trying to ask why we need to maintain a relation. Our priorities have changed which might be inevitable but then whether we have become too official with our relations is a point that need to be given a thought. Reciprocation was not considered very important in maintaining relations in the earlier days and visiting our friends or near and dear ones was almost a routine affair; I would come whenever I can and you must also try and visit as and when possible was the unwritten rule. But now we have started keeping a tag on our visitors and make it a point, mostly as a formality, to make a return visit. So values are indeed on the the decrease. Having turned to a nuclear family system, we have started withdrawing ourselves into a world of our own and relationships have become need based. I don't think the relation between parents and children or between siblings or between friends or neighbors are the same as they used to be; it might have changed gradually with time and day to day requirements and may be that is the need of the hour. But I sincerely feel that such an erosion in the values are the cause of many problems in the society today.

    'He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.'- Elbert Hubbard.

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