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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Which is the best love ?

    Dear Members,
    Which is the best love out of all the three loves?
    1. Love of the Parents
    2. Love of the spouse
    3. Love of the children

    @ Don't say all the three are the best. Please grade them with justicifactions..
  • #611588
    I would say that love cannot be measured in quantity/quality, I tried to reason in my mind but I am unable to grade them. We have our siblings as well, so it's really hard to say which is Best!

  • #611589
    It is very hard to say. Like Neethu said, love cannot be measured to be given proper grades. Love of parents is different from that of love of spouse and these two are different from the love of children. I give up as I can't grade these.

    May I know from the author, how he is grading these, if he is able to grade it.

    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #611593
    I would say that it is the love of parents that is the best. Agreeing to the terms and conditions of this materialistic world, where even parents weigh the benefits they derive from a child, I still think that their love cannot be fathomed. One does grow up, get married and have children, but you always have that special feeling of security as long as your parents are alive. They are the ones on whom you can rely upon, albeit complaints and chides, because, ultimately they cannot disown you and their love for you is unfathomable. They may not like you, but they do love you.
    'He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.'- Elbert Hubbard.

  • #611600
    All the three are equally important. We get love from parents throughout our life. The love from spouse we get right from the moment she or he enters the life and remains so. The children also love their parents once they come into life. We cannot compare these three. All are equally important.

    Having said all this, I feel that apart from the above three, the best part of love is platonic love whoever is lucky to get it.

    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #611601
    Love of the parents cannot be compared or matched with any one. Love of the spouse is necessity of life and cannot be valued with money or value. And love of children is spontaneous and we get immense satisfaction. I rate the the third one as the best , then the spouse and then the parents.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #611602
    Members, especially Chitra,
    I would grade them like this -First Parents, second Spouse, Third Children. Why?

    1. Parents - You all must have heard this story. Once a boy was asked to bring his mother's heart for a bad deal. The mother obliged her son and gave him her heart. While on his way with the mother's heart in hand, the boy slipped and fell. At that time, the mother's heart in his hand asked the boy,"Son, Are you safe? Hope you were not hurt."

    2. Spouse - Most of the love between the spouses are fake for the sake of companionship. They don't last long. They get into separation when there is no adjustment between them. The love needs finance. "Kolaiyum seivaal Pathini"(A Tamil phrase which means - Even she will murder him)

    3. Children - Once the children are grown and separated after their marriage, they forget their parents and don't care or send them to old age home for care. The real love, affection, and care are not there.

    No life without Sun

  • #611615
    A very good question. Very difficult to answer. Individual's opinion differs. But the love we have towards our parents, the love we show to our wife and the love we develop towards our children is entirely different. I feel parents love is without any expectation from you. Even the children may not like them. But the parents will continue to love them. This relation has come to us by birth. The second one is the wife, she came all the way from their parents, family members and all other association, to you with only expecting a love and affection from you. She came here because of you only. If you are not there her life will be completely different. The third one is our children. The children are created by you and your wife. You never asked them whether they are interested to come to this place or not, basing on your financial position they are restricting their wishes and needs. So while thinking in these lines I am in dilemma to decide on. But as majority opinion goes I also feel Parents first, then wife and then children.
    always confident

  • #611631
    I also have similar opinion. The love of parents is supreme. Whether the children do good for them or not they will always be worried for them. My mother is 85 yrs and she always tells me to take care of my health. She always asks me - have you taken your food ? How is your health ?Why are you not going to doctor? and things like that. I sometimes feel irritated with her behavior ( because I belong to third category ! ).

    As children are deserting their parents for their own family they definitely deserve the third category. Once these two categories are finalized the place for spouse is - the second category.

    The author has put up a interesting forum thread compelling us to think hard to find out the love of these different family members to be put up in a categorical fashion.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #611640
    Based on occasions we cannot categorize or grade their love for us. Because we have seen many incidents where parents have disowned or abandoned their kids, kids have thrown out their parents and spouses have betrayed each other.

    So, when it comes to choosing the best love, How do you measure the love towards your parents, kids, and spouse?

    Each love is unique and no comparison can be made is what I feel and my opinion is.

  • #611643
    The number one position is definitely the parents. No doubt on that. Regarding second and third position I am not very sure. All the children are not bad. Some of them take care of their parents as per their financial condition.

    At the same time all spouses are not cheating or deserting their counterparts. There are so many ladies in India who have worked shoulder to shoulder with their husbands even in times of adversities.

    So the opinion of people differ from each other and everyone will judge from their perspective. So positioning may be according to that.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #611646
    First of all you cannot measure love. Trying to grade the 3 options given is an exercise in futility.

    Your options assume a lot of things and the lowest level of integrity.

    Orphans would never have known parents would choose between 2 and 3.
    Childless couples won't understand 3.
    Parents may not live as long as you or your spouse.

    The 'parents' as in #611602 are a couple who for the most part assumed to have a fake relationship with each other.
    The same 2 people are also 'children' of someone who grew up, married and separated, and abandoned their parents.
    The same 2 people got abandoned by their children. So the 'parents' are as bad as the 2 spouses, and as bad as the children. So how can they be put at #1 ?

    How come the assumed predictions for children not apply to the parents? Parents can also disinherit their children.

    Some parents prefer independence from their children and love the situation available in old folk's home – they do not want to pamper or interfere in their grown up children, who are also having their own kids.

    If you are a married person, how would you term your relationship with your partner? Is it a fake companionship as you described?

    There are people today who'd kill their own daughter for honor, not love. So you can't say parents' love for children is #1. If that daughter managed to escape and marry then for her the love of spouse is at #1.

    People's love for others varies from person to person, and just cannot be measured. For one it may be this, and for another it may be that, but both can be fulfilling even if it looks different from the outsider's view. Best thing is to not to compare or judge; there are many aspects one will never know. And then, don't measure love.

  • #611652
    Best love: This is the state of many adults who live with parents, spouse and children. He or she has to balance all three becuase many family arguements, harmony and breakups stem from love and how we perceive it.

    I think, in may view these keep changing depending on the age of the person and teh circumstances.

    For example a child will love the mother or father the most ( we have seen our toddlers who cry when we leave for work and come runing to hug us with joy when we return), yet the same child grows up and may look after us well or put us in an oldage home.

    A mother who loves her children, showers all her affection on her daughter who gets married and goes off to live with her husband. Yet the same mother can illtreat a daughterinlaw (someone daughter too) who comes into her house.

    A newly married lady sits at husband's house crying thinking of her mother and rushes to see her with love even if she just has a simple fever. Yet the same lady would just do things mechanincally if her mother-in-law is bed ridden.

    A son who grows up loving his parents and pledges to even give his life for them, gets married and transforms into a person who loves his wife so much that parents are forced to live apart or live in a one room home.

    So, to me the love remains the same, only the person expressing and the person receving it keep changing. Some individual cannot express their love due to circumstances and fear of offending the other. For instance, a married son would love his parents but would be worried to express it for the fear that it would sour his relationship with his wife.

    Anyone who finds the magical ideal quotent about ranking these three should be given the nobel prize. which is superior. I'm sure that the author should atleast get a TOW award.

  • #611679
    Love, though given by different people has the same essence.
    So it doesn't really matter. All love are equally divine.
    But let me be very blunt here for your sake.
    1. Love by parents- aren't offspring and parent obliged to love each other irrespective of their character? Parents shower unconditional love upon us, only because they own us.
    It is basic biology after all. Parents try their level best to save and secure their children.
    So it cannot be the best type of love for it is more of a duty.

    2. Love of/by children - just like our parents, our children are obliged to love and respect is irrespective of our character.
    Moreover love by children is clearly driven by a motive- seeking protection and providence.

    3- love by spouse on other hand is completely different. There is no relation of blood or obligation in this love. A wife's depth of love for her husband, summarizes his character.
    So it is a love that you make or break yourself.
    It is a love you deserve. So it is the best form of love according to me.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

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