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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    A conversation between a 10 year old and her mentor.

    The mentor knew this 10-year girl child since she was four years old. She had seen her grow up right in front of her eyes with all the innocence. Last few months, due to hectic work schedule, the mentor couldn't check on this 10-year-old child. Today, after many months, she met this child in a common family friend's wedding. When the child saw the mentor she came up running to her and hugged her. The mentor was very happy to see her after so long. She noticed that this kid who was once very bubbly and healthy has become very lean. So lean that her skin was hugging her bones.

    What happened in the last few months to her that she lost so much of weight? Below is the conversation between them-

    Mentor: What happened dear, you look so lean, is everything alright?
    Child: Yeah didi -(this term is used to address by the younger ones for elder sisters in Hindi), with a smile on her face.

    Mentor: You don't look fine, you have lost so much of weight. Don't be afraid, you can tell me (Now the mentor put her hands around her shoulder in an affectionate way to assure her that she could share if anything was bothering her)

    Child: Didi, I was in hospital last few days, I was not feeling well. I can't eat anything, everything that I eat, I am vomiting. I am very tensed.

    (By that time, the child's mother comes, the mentor turns to her and asks)

    Mentor: Hi Aunty, How are you? What happened to her?
    Mother (In a very worried tone): We have taken her to many hospitals and she is undergoing many treatments but we still don't know what is wrong? She is not able to eat or digest any of the food and it's been more than three months now.

    (Mentor thinks in her mind- No wonder she has lost so much of weight). Another lady comes and takes the mother away for some discussion. The mentor is still with the child.

    Child: Didi, I am very tensed about my exams. A doctor said I am falling sick because I take so much of tension. Earlier I used to hardly feel any tension about exams, but now I am very afraid of exams, what if I fail?

    Mentor: No my child, why are you afraid of failing? What will happen if you fail? Don't be afraid of exams, just give your best.

    Child: No Didi, what if I will fail? Then my dad will beat me, my parents won't talk to me for many days. Moreover, my tuition teacher keeps scolding me every day, she speaks very rudely, she says if I don't study well I will become a beggar. She also said that if I don't study well I will be a headache to my parents. I am not getting good marks in exams. I feel like I am a waste. Sometimes I feel that why did God create me? Was I born to trouble my parents? I sometimes feel like hanging myself so that everyone will be very happy.
    (She said this non-stop, her eyes were looking down on the floor)

    Mentor: My dear, first of all, don't think you are a waste. God has created you with a purpose. Your parents love you much more than anyone else. They won't be happy if you hang yourself. It will hurt them deeply. Don't worry about failing in your exams. Even if you fail, it's no big deal. We can again write the exam and clear it. Don't carry it as a burden in your heart. Don't take it to heart when your elders or parents scold you, they do it because they love you so much.

    Saying so, mentor hugged her and said, 'everyone loves you, don't think you are a failure'! By that time her mother and father comes. She waves goodbye to the mentor with a smile and a glow in her face.

    Now, this is not a fictional conversation but a real one that took place between me and that child. We may feel that the life of kids is very easy but it is not. Even they find it hard, they struggle to understand what things are. They lose all the hope when elders burst on them, even if it is for their good. They may find it hard to understand and may not be able to deal with it.

    So today, try to have a friendly conversation with your wards, let them know that you are there for them no matter what. That assurance is more than enough for them to face every struggle.
  • #612907
    It is sad that a 10-year-old should be stressed to the point of thinking to end her life for education, the very education that's supposed to help her in life. I think somewhere down the line in the last 10-15 years, we have lost touch with reality and let the education system take a highly competitive edge and become a business model. When children are caught in the middle of the merciless competition and money ventures (schools, tutors) that needs end results ( ranks, 100%, 99.99%) to justify the means ( expensive private schools, expensive tuition at odd hours) the fallout is inevitably disastrous.

    It is up to parents to slowly shun these materialistic driven school success and start to safeguarding the joy and innocence of their children. It's like the selfies, we embraced it with open arms and now after many lives being lost now we are slowly backing off it. Similarly, we have peaked in the unhealthy race for kids school success and now seeing children getting depressed and even ending their lives, we have to back off from this high-pressure school environment. As long as the attitude of the majority of parents does not change, the education system will continue to be more and more stressful for children.

  • #612914
    A deep story indeed. Children are soft by nature. They play, they enjoy and they also need the scoldings. But to a limited extent. One should never pressurize a child for anything. Teach them to understand good and bad but in a patient manner. Creating fear in the mind of a child will render them to take wrong decisions in life. Parents today are so busy in their own lives that they get very less time with their child, this makes child highly independent and they also lose some important and precious time with their father and mother. Similarly, the education system has put up the burden of studies to children today. In spite of the learning from schools, they also have to go tutions and after that, the left up time goes in some games and then off to sleep. Parents and even teachers need to imbibe good values in children. Education is also important but not with fear, its importance has to be taught with love and patience.
    Do what inspires you !!

  • #612925
    This real story do happen elsewhere and it is the fact that parents are putting lots of pressure on the children to score good marks in the exam and on the other hand children are unable to follow what is told at the school and they are forced to forgo the lessons for not understanding it properly. At the school the child cannot ask to repeat the lesson nor ask for any doubts because of fear against the teacher. This she has been building pressure by not revealing this to the parents and on the other hand parents think that the child is avoiding studies and giving priorities to other things in life. For the God sake, never put pressure on children. They do have brains to understand and grasp things if told in proper way. They only need the best attention to listen. That cozy atmosphere has to be created and for that I request the parents and the teacher to be helpful and reach out to the children.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #613042
    These days the parents more worried about their children future and many of them think that only IIT seat and MBBS seat are only the ultimate of this world.They pressurise their kids more and more. But parents should understand pressuring too much will make them burst. Every parent wants his ward to get100% score. otherwise, they will beat them and they will compare them with other people who got a better mark and almost they see that their ward will get more worried. But it is going to create many problems. recently in Hyderabad, one girl studying intermediate left from the hostel of the college with a note that the college is the reason for all problems. The police traced that girl and asked her to go with her parents. But she refused and preferred to stay in an orphanage. From this incident, the parents should understand the state of the mind of that girl. This is my sincere request to all the parents please don't be so brutal on kids.
    always confident

  • #613052
    Not just parents but I believe that the society as a whole has the responsibility towards them. Don't look down upon a child who has not fared well in their exams making fun of the child's weakness can lower the child's esteem.

    It's absolutely alright to fail in exams. The child needs to know that it's not a taboo to fail in the exam, not every can gets success in their life and not everyone who is successful has a perfect life.

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