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  • Category: Group Discussions

    Family is not always the most important thing in life today- Do you agree or not?- Active GD.

    It gives me immense pleasure to announce another Active GD. The topic for the debate this time is 'Family is not always the most important thing in life today- Do you agree or not?'

    Most of us would not have to think twice before saying that we consider our family to be the most important thing in life. It is, I suppose, quite a natural reaction keeping our ethos and values in mind. But life is not static and we go through different situations and face different circumstances as we move ahead. Our decisions and actions are most of the time influenced and controlled by different factors including career, money, change in relationships, health and so on. If we take such changes in the situations, circumstances and factors into consideration, I don't think it would be prudent to take it for granted that it would always be possible to stick to our stand that family is the top most priority in our life. Do you agree or not? If yes why, if not why?

    Friends, this GD is being announced well knowing our moral and traditional constraints, but we expect a practical and fair discussion, keeping in mind the present conditions, to take place with no masks on.

    General guidelines for adherence -

    *Please do not post responses that are not relevant to the GD in this thread.

    *Read and understand the topic properly before coming up with arguments.

    *Please stick to the topic. Do not deviate from the main subject. It is quite natural to draw connections or make references but one must make it a point to get back to the topic of discussion. Any deviation from the main topic that is likely to affect the flow of a discussion is not advisable.

    *Do try to add on or elaborate on points already submitted instead of harping on the same point in different words time and again. It would be better if you distribute your arguments between the responses you intend to post instead of covering up all of them in one go. Please give detailed responses with valid points to support your argument.

    *Do not get personal. Each participant in a debate is free to choose his stand and though one can and has to challenge and try to disprove another's point, it should be limited to the views only and not on a personal level. Let us not discard dignity and decency for the sake of cementing a view.

    Let us have a healthy, active and fruitful discussion. The GD will close on 29 Oct '17.

    Best participants will be selected depending on the number of participants and will be awarded suitably. Other participants will also be considered for cash rewards if found eligible.

    So why wait? Read, think and start penning down your points and arguments. Let the activity begin!

    Note: The editor who is moderating a GD will have the final say (in consultation with the team) in matters of dispute (during discussion) and a point or guidance put forth as a response by the moderator need not be responded to by the participating members.
  • #612927
    I do not think that family is not always the most important thing in life. So I will speak against the motion.
    1. We exist because of our family. Without a family our existence is meaningless. So whatever we do it career, education, etc. has to contribute in some way your family. Hence family is important.
    2. No matter what we do outside the home, how much success we have in our career we need people back at home to share the success or failure. So if we do not give priority to our family then whom we will share our success or failure with. When we come back at home we will feel so lonely and see that nobody is there to pat back or hug us tightly.
    3. Had our career been the most important thing in life then during the beginning of our civilization we would have had educational institutions or business organisations flourishing first. But that is not the case. When any civilization began family was its first starting point. So everything exists because of family and not vice versa.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #612929
    4. During the get together is of any function people like to come with your families. At marriage function birthday party people invite each other's families mostly.
    5. Family becomes most important when you are sick. It is your family who takes care of you when you are sick. No matter how efficient are you at work, your boss or friends at work will not be able to take care of you as good as your family. So family always comes first.
    6. If you give more importance to you family then you always know that there is someone back at home who is worried about you when you are at work. If you don't then nobody cares whether you come home or not which is a very gruesome feeling.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #612931
    I think family is the most important thing in life. We live for our family, work for our family, we do not get the Me time because we spend most of our time for our family. We save and invest for our family. Anything and everything we do is for our family.

    We are happy when our family has no issues and sad when we have family problems. We wait for the weekend, holidays, vacations to be with our family. When we have problems we share it with our family, we trust our family.

    So, I do not agree when we say family is not the most important thing in life. Without our family we are not their. They are our biggest support and the reason for our existence. So how can we consider them to be not the most important in life.

    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #612932
    I don't agree. Family is always important. We live for our own family. My parents brought me to the world and shown the world. I married and worried about my wife with love and care. I got my children and shown them the world. This goes on repeatedly in this world. What else is important in our life than our family?

    Family is important, not only today, but forever. No life without a family. Without a family, It will be a dead life or deadly life.

    No life without Sun

  • #612933
    I agree that family is not the most important thing in life today.

    The reason is simple – in today's world, the definition of 'family' is constantly changing. When we are single, family comprises of parents and siblings. Once we get married, our spouse is included in the family. Once the children arrive, the definition of family goes through a dramatic change. The previous family that we had held so dear gets side-lined and in some instances completely outcast, and the new relationships that we build, through our marriage, become a family, and more important than our previous family.

    We so easily switch our priorities, for, in my opinion, we are the most important people in our lives. We take on added responsibilities of the new family that we start, with much zeal. And this enthusiasm comes from our own selfish needs – to have a family of our own. It is our own desires that get us to do this – so we are acting to fulfil our own desires. Our family just gives us a sense of fulfilment - we build our family for ourselves.

    Look at the number of parents being neglected. Do siblings care for each other with the same spirit as they did before they started their own families? In most cases, the answer would be no. A family is just something most people use for their own convenience. If the family is important, we would all be staying with them, pooling in all our resources and enjoying the fruits, but we choose to start our own nuclear families. What does that say about is?

    I believe that we are a selfish people and just make a show of the family to be the most important, thing. We remain the most important person in our life.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #612934
    Yes of course, Family is the most important thing that gives more pleasure to exist in this world as a human being. See if you observe that animals also shows the importance of living with their communities and the most effective thing that you observe is the relationship between the mother and her children. Likewise Father also plays a major role in looking after his children and guiding them towards the success in his journey of life.
    See if we want to enjoy in holidays we can go for watching movie and playing outdoor games but it gives more pleasure that spending our time with our family members and with cousins another family members.
    The family provides a way to share your feelings, thoughts and ideas and also your tensions. if you don't have family, you don't what is the real meaning of relationship.
    There are many more factors which says that a family is very important, if it contains the people of good manners and loving nature and educated.........

    "Life's Beauty is Inseparable from its Fragility ".

    Sohail shaik...

  • #612936
    For me family is most important in life than any thing else. Because family is the bonding between the members who exist and the daily routines are to be attended and attained at any cost and that cannot be postponed or discarded citing other responsibilities and excuses. After all every one belongs to a family and we hail from a family. How can we degrade the family in front of other issues of lesser importance. And remember a good family is the place for debate, discussion, suggestion and commutative action. And those who never cared the family and taken decisions on their own were not always successful.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #612942
    I cannot agree that we build a family for ourselves; when we were born we are born into a family, and that is not by choice and is not build by us. Later on we just add extended family. We start learning to love, by loving our family. More than 80% people live for their kids, is that because they do not like their family and is selfish?

    We know people who go outside their country to find a job and most of their earnings is send back to their family in India. Not many people like to be away from their mother land, where they were born, but we see many people leaving their land, house, family and friends and going abroad. They sacrifice everything they like just for the happiness of their family. Some people who like to study, drop their studies halfway and start working from a very early stage, it is to find an income so that his/her family can live happily. This shows the love and preference towards the family.

    Even form the ancient times, we have examples which proves, that the family which we kept close to our heart once is side lined later. For instance, a girl initially stayed with her parents until marriage and after marriage she moves out and from there onwards she is supposed to consider her husband's family as her family. That is the Indian tradition which a girl has to follow and not because she doesn't like her family. People move out of the family when they get a job, they are staying away from the family but that does not mean they do not like their family. A major part of our earnings is kept aside for our family. Isn't it? How do we earn, it is not an easy task, we are working hard and sometimes end up ruing our health. Money hard earned in that way is spend for our family. It is because we consider our family to be most important than anything else.

    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #612955
    I welcome the new Active GD announcement.

    The title statement is in negative. Hence it needs more than one reading to be clear and then to take a stand and put forth our views.

    The core statement has three segments: 'Family is NOT always ..... important'. Combining it becomes clear-"Family is not always important today". Based on that condensation, I have to state my view as a protagonist for the topic: or in other words,

    I stand in SUPPORT of the topical statement. I am Pro-Topic.
    Yes, I agree that it is quite apparent nowadays that family is not the important priority to many.

    To the regret of most old-timers, it is fast trending to become a de-facto common thing, that family will/is 'not -at -all -important'.

    Having stated my stand vis-a-vis the GD topic, I shall give my detailed views in subsequent posts. I hope to see a nice purposeful discussion ahead.

  • #612960
    First and the foremost preference I give always to my family. For me my family is everything. Without a family, I think I am a zero. The family gives us enjoyment, enthusiasm to work, it's an energy and most important like alarm it keeps us alert to think of our future so that we should not be lazy. In whole, it helps to be active and make every man /woman to get them-self employed in any way. The only thing is you should go on the right path. So when the family is having so much energy power like boost obviously family is everything for me.

  • #612964
    I agree that family is not always the most important thing in life today.
    Family usually means that nobody is left behind. Do we really care about this fact anymore? Whatever may be the reason, we are not good enough to accomplish this task of keeping everyone together. We justify ourselves with so many statements. We give various excuses and feel like we have done enough and said enough. We live in great dignity amidst such vaguely passed judgements and feel that we value our family. It is high time to question our inner self whether we really give our family top priority.

    Do we really pick up tissues to wipe tears of our family? If yes, how many times do we do it? Don't we really care about ourselves more than our families? Family is about being there for each other. Earlier family was not just an important thing but was considered as everything. Today it has just become a thing. It has lost its priority ranking and thrown down the list.

  • #612966
    Though I am supporting the GD topic statement, it need not be assumed that I am against the family set up. My focus fist will be to justify the GD title statement is correct.

    The other day my friend was telling me about his son who got a job in a multinational company in Mumbai. He prided that " I told him that if he gets a chance to go abroad, he should do it without worrying about the family'. Family will go on like this. But he should secure his future.".

    Please mind it that it was not just a reluctant concurrence, but a straight push. That shows the trend. It was not so earlier. When the son or daughter got a job far away, the parents used to tell them either to get a job nearby or get a transfer to their or nearest possible place.

    During the end of seventies when I joined my first job, there was a craze to go to Gulf countries. One of my elder colleagues who had some relevant experience also wanted to go abroad. He had seen a n attractive job advertisement. When he broached the subject to his wife, she curtly replied,"Fine, but then I may also take a better husband". She convinced him that as he had some reasonable salary and a reasonably reputed job, why should he go leaving family? They were married and having children. Money alone was not the mater. The children and the wife needed him to be with them as a family.
    She considered family as most important. He relented as he was convinced and they continued as a happy family.

    But what about today? The husband is working and staying at one place, the wife is working in another place, and the children are in the hostel. If we ask the will have their own reasons. But what is the core point? Are they a family in the real sense? No. They are just vacation families. I am not blaming them, because they have other priorities. Family is not important at that context.

    Proved:- family is not always important today.

  • #612968
    1. Even animals give maximum priority to their family. That is why you see dogs or cats snarling at other animals or human who try to come near their family members.
    2. I don't think family changes. Family always increases in size. When siblings grow up and marry, have kids our family becomes larger. We should respect this fact. We should always embrace this growth and look after both new and old members . Those who don't and neglect any family member using their career as a shield, don't even know what career really means.
    3. If you see the movie Baar Baar Dekho, then you will how a successful careeristic person feels that he has achieved nothing and he is a loser. This is all because he didn't give importance to his family.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #612973
    Joyshree has given a list of points. I can give a large bracket to enclose them and say yes, all these were true yesterday, but today, they are not so. Family is not important nowadays.

    In # 612629, at point no.4 she says you are invited to a function as family. I had one experience some thirty years ago. There was a ball dance. I was also invited- with a rider to come with a partner if I was to dance. Inviting family as a unit was the existing custom. That is why it becomes pertinent to discuss when such long practice customs and practices slowly change or vanish. That is why the GD has been brought up.

    Chitra in post# #612931 has a great observation "..we do not get the Me time because we spend most of our time for our family". But she failed to see what is happening because of that. People have asserted to be 'Me' always. They started questioning the rationale and wanted to 'work for self satisfaction, self esteem, have time for own entertainment wanted to have a space for self. They do not want the family to be a drag bag on them.

    SuN vide # #612932 has just stated an ideal situation which was more or less existing universally till some time ago. He has lost to see fast trending and spreading scenario now. Solo tour, solo ride, solo driving has become fashion now. There are special tour trips comprising only elder ladies, only office going women all women group etc. There are packages for tour and entertainment for senior citizen exclusively. So family has replaced as a group and unit and now it is replaced by various other partnerships and associations, for sense of belonging.

    "No life without a family. "- Changed now. The percentage of happily living bachelors, spinsters and divorces are fast increasing.

  • #612975
    I concur with Juana (#612933) when she says "And this enthusiasm comes from our own selfish needs – to have a family of our own. It is our own desires that get us to do this – so we are acting to fulfil our own desires. ". "A family is just something most people use for their own convenience.".
    This fundamental selfish causative factor was not vehemently expressed till a few decades. Those who strayed out of the family boding were treated as irresponsible, disloyal and 'matlabi''aawaara', or individualistic. Now more and more people are asserting their individuality and declaring that they are the priority and importance. The family may come somewhere in a lower order in the 'important 'list.

    I understand that in some of the western nations there are very clear laws exclusively for isolating and protecting the rights of a child as an individual, different from its own parents. If the child decides, it can leave the family and live under state protection.

    The sense of individual first-and not family first- starts from here. In the current times,family is not important, the individual only is.

  • #612978
    The family is not always the most important thing in life today- yes I agree.In this current age of increasing use of technology and social media, even parents and children sit in the same room physically but in a completely different virtual world. Some kids do not even like to accept their parents' friend requests on facebook as they feel their privacy will be intruded!
    It is true that nuclear families are growing in number, grandparents are being neglected, children are being sent to boarding schools and hostels and parents are working hard day and night to make more money for the family.
    But, if the essence of togetherness is being ignored and everyone is running after money, personal gains and priorities, the meaning of the term, 'family'has to be modified to suit the current trend.
    If we take the example of our community, ISC even we are a family and we communicate virtually.

    If the family was really the most important thing in life today, there would be fewer people working away from home, fewer kids in hostels, fewer people in old age homes and so on.
    We are together as a unit only if we sacrifice not all, but at least a few priorities of our life in order to keep the whole family together and support each other emotionally and psychologically.

    "If things go wrong, don’t go with them"

  • #612979
    I am not in agreement with the statement that Family is not always the most important thing in life today. If we are not giving importance to family, I say it is deceiving the family. In my opinion before marriage and after marriage the family is same but new members will get infused into the family and size will increase. But this thinking will differ from person to person. These days many people are getting attracted towards the worldly desires and they are becoming slaves to those aspects and neglecting the family. If you see the example of Dharmaraju, the elder of Pandavas, spoiled the family for his desire of playing dice. For him family is secondary and his game is important. But for his 4 brothers family is more important. So they simply gave away the Rajya and suffered in their lives. But for Draupadi, her character is more important than anything else. That is why she questioned the power of Dharma Raju. If Arjuna thought that why I should lose my kingdom for the ill-doings of my brother, there might have been a war among Pandavas then itself. If Dharma Raju thought that for his family is more important he might have stopped the game when he lost everything except his family members. Not even now those days also there are people who have given first priority to family and people who gave priority to other things.
    These days also there are people who sacrificed their lives for family. There are people who deceived the family for their self-gain. There are examples which can be discussed later.

    always confident

  • #612980
    There is a saying in Telugu. When you born you do not bring anything when you die you Should n't take anything, so you dedicate yourself to being happy. In between birth and death, all the things are void or vacuum. This is a Philosophy. But in real time or To implement this Philosophy is very difficult.Except for Sadhus and sanyasis. But if you introspect this philosophy some point of time you will think it might be true.Suppose in your family as One by One is dying.You are the only person remains in the family then you will not die artificially and you will die naturally in general.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #612981
    To love your family, it is not necessary you need to be with them always. The tears that we get when we hear about a small thing happened to our family shows how important they are to us. We care about our family and so does they. Sacrifice plays a vital role in any relationship. We might send our children to other places for their studies and for job, that is not because they are not important to us, but because we like to see them grow and achieve success in life. More than family no one will support us for these. It does not mean we are pushing the children to move out from the family. I recollect the thread that was posted in ISC recently, where the author mentioned about the worries both the parents and kids will have when it is time to part for studies, marriage or job. I saw many members agreeing to the thread, it shows how important family is for people and how much they care for them.

    # #612973: Family is the most important thing in life, but that does not mean we should not give importance to other things in life. First consideration and priority is always given to our family. We all need to have some Me time but still we do not bother finding time from our busy schedule for us as we care for the family more than we care for us. Me time helps us to develop our talents, like when you get time for yourselves, you can write poems or draw or paint or do whatever that you are talented of. As we give importance to our family, we keep aside our talents and start working for them and caring for them. Through my earlier post, I meant even the ME time is willingly sacrificed for the welfare of our family, and it is because family is the most important thing in life.

    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #612984
    Agree with it, not always. The answer lies in the question itself. Family is not always the most important thing in life today. It basically means that there are other things that are important sometimes in life today. The priority with family comes first always or not is dictated by the circumstances at that point of time, the maturity of the person and the thought process of individuals.

    We should thank our family for giving us what they have but if you look at it analytically every parent does the same thing give what they have to their children and support them as much as possible, our grandfathers did it, our father did it, we are doing it now for our children. There's nothing new, its a way of life, we just have to accept it and move on. It is physically, financially, emotionally and practically not feasible to always be with family and not to think of ourselves.

    We all love the emperor penguin, In the harsh winter, the mother lays the egg, gives it to the father and flies off. Even tough it knows that the chick is due, it overcomes the maternal instinct, goes off for two months to feed itself and then comes back. If the mother does not come in time, the father abandons the egg or just hatched chick to go feed for himself. These birds stay as pairs for many years, do everything for the sake of family and yet they do leave the same family when it comes self survival.

    Take for instance, the flying protocol for some VVIPS around the world, the entire family should not fly in the same aircraft. For them family is important but at this time, this juncture they have to be apart. Many birds dutifully look after their young ones but at some point of time they have to leave the nest to get food for themselves and the chicks even though family is important.

    You can videos of elephants who incidentally have the highest awareness of family, love and bonding. When a baby elephant is injured or sick, the herd hangs around for sometime, then move on, few females hang around for a couple of hours and move on, the mother after hours decides to leave the calf and go with the herd. These gentle creatures that have excellent family bonding do leave family for the sake of survival.

    The concept that family is important is a relative one, take of example a traditional family next door sort of girl, when she falls in love, one fine day, she decides to leave the family that has given her everything for many years in exchange for the promises given by a stranger she's know for a few months. Here again the human mind that has grown up loving the family always, puts it aside at that particular juncture for herself, her ambition, her desire.

    If you visit the airports by any chance, there are many young guys happily chatting and proudly stating that I've got a placement in US, the same guy comes back after few years, gets married and flies off in a few days only to come back every few years or he may not come back at all. Here's a boy, who grew up loving his father as the best person ever, his hero for many years, enjoyed the pampering done by his mother,sisters, used up the money of his father or brother of education and yet when he got the first chance to fly to a foreign land, he enthusiastically does it, does it again and again. In return for the family that always loved him, he gets some gifts, send money to them.

    The loving all obedient son who never said no to his mother all the years suddenly transforms into a cold calculated man who sides with his wife and ignores the very mother he loved so much, he ignores her so much that he does'nt mind sending her to an oldage home. A different son in the same setting, spurlges money on gifts for his wife and in-law but never gives money enough for his parents to spend.

    You just have to read the papers these days, to see brother's who grew up bonding as family, fighting for their share of property, there are humans who even plot and go ahead with taking the life of family member they loved (brother,wife or husband).

    So friends, in relative terms family' ALWAYS' 'DOES NOT' become important. In testing times for survival, for money, for desire, for power, for status, for peace of mind, humans have put themselves ahead of the family. It may sound harsh but in real sense, if you look at it unemotionally, it's not that bad.

  • #612985
    I really do not understand one thing how you put money as a Priority I will give one example If X- PERSON daily salary lets say 10 thousand rupees. X got a call from their family someone is Injured or Serious and he/she has been Hospitalized.When the call came X came to office. If X leave the office he will lose ten thousand rupees In General A person thinks he will take a leave and go to the hospital even on loss of pay. Is there any person who thinks that what happens will happen I will be in office after the Office hours are over then only I will go to the hospital and save ten thousand rupees.Now, what is your priority money or family? So you have given priority to the family but not money.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #612986
    #612984.The family is not always the most important thing today may stand good in some cases. But there are people who sacrificed his life for the welfare of his family.
    I will tell you my own experience. My father was 16 years old. He was studying Intermediate 2nd year. His father(My Grandfather) was a school teacher. My father was having two younger brothers. This was all happened in the 1950s. My father was studying in Rajahmundry and the family was in a village at a distance of 35Kms. My father got married in his inter 1st year and my mother was staying with his father as only marriage was performed. My grandfather expired. So the entire responsibility of the family has fallen on the shoulders of my father. Two brothers studying in high school, mother and debts in the village. Everything has come on to the head of my father. My mother's father told him please continue your studies. I will give you all the expenses for your studies. My daughter will be with me till you complete your studies and get a job. Let your father's brother take care of your mother and brothers for one year so that you can complete your studies. Then you can go for a job. Those days very good jobs are available even for Intermediate passouts. My father told him that his father's brother will treat my family members properly and they will be in difficulties. So he said that he is not interested in that proposal. In the nearby village in a small private company for a small salary, he joined there. He has managed the family. Both of his brothers completed their education and joined government service as teachers. But my father suffered his entire life with that small job. Both the brothers got married and they have set up their own families. My father has given more importance to his family than his career. He continued in the same job for 60 years.At the same time, his brother thought that he is separate from the family and his family is only his wife and children. Here you have to see the difference in perspective of both the people who are born to same parents. So whether the family is important are not again depends on the individual. today my father is 84 years and very happy with good health.

    always confident

  • #612987
    The responses, against the motion, provide fodder for me to substantiate my stand that we are the most important people in our lives.

    Joyshree in her responses 612927/29 has highlighted why she thinks family is important.

    1. She feels family is important to success and failure can be shared with them. She also states that family helps avoid loneliness and to receive a pat and hug when we most need them. These reasons just indicate that the family is needed to get something in return. We need a family to support us, in every which way. In all this, aren't we the most important persons in our life? We seek family, so our emotional health is maintained. It is a selfish reason because we want the family to meet your own emotional needs.
    2. Joyshree mentions civilizations and the lack of educational institutions and business organisations. Madam, you need to read through Hindu mythology to understand the educational system present in our country, in ancient times. It was called 'Gurukula'. And if you were to read through recorded history, you'll find the mention of 'Nalanda University', which dates back to the 5th century AD. We also had a flourishing trade and people would travel to distant lands. There is a big Indian community in Malaysia and Africa that shows that we were always inclined towards business. So, all this thrashes your view that earlier civilizations lacked education and business acumen and focused only on family.
    3. People remained with families for selfish reasons, to sustain themselves – because the family property was there and the convenience of living in a joint family. Today, anyone who is capable of fending for themselves moves out of the family fold, making their own niche.
    4. Falling back on the family when we are sick again highlights that we are using them for our own personal gain. Giving importance to family so we have someone to worry about us amounts to the barter system. If the family is the most important thing in your life, then why do your examples reflect how you stand to gain from it? Does that not automatically make you the most important person in your life?


    You illustrated the plight of people who go overseas for the happiness of their family. Did you mean money? You do bring in money into the equation. Which makes me ask whether the family is important because of money?

    It also brings me to the point that I made, about we being the most important people in our lives. Isn't the family (parents, siblings, spouse and children) of someone working abroad being selfish? They value money more than their family member. They allow the individual to go overseas, and live in difficult conditions, away from the motherland, so they can live a life of comfort. They become financially secure and live off the earnings and blood and sweat of that person. Is this love and preference towards family? I think it is more a love towards money.

    People sacrifice family for the sake of money. They make themselves most important, which is why they do not care about the individual who is away from them, in a foreign land. You cited 80% of parents to be living with their children. I do not know the source of your data. But, have you counted the percentage of individuals who live off someone working overseas? The ratio would be askew because the number of people who live off someone would be higher than those working abroad. This ratio would also highlight the huge number of people who put themselves ahead of their family member.

    Also, the people who work overseas live a good life. Many do not want to return, many do not visit their aged parents. Many stay on, for they know they earn more abroad than they would in their homeland. It is a selfish reason. Some may send money home, but are we equating family with money?

    Also, all this talk of the motherland is so fake. What do NRIs do for the motherland? What have they done for the country, other than sending money to their own families? There are just a handful of philanthropists who do something for their motherland. Everyone is abroad for their own selves - to better their own lives.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #612990
    If you go through the recent advertisements, then you will see a lot of products are promoting that their product is very important for the entire family. Be it a certain e-commerce brand which is showing that during Diwali this is the brand that bring the whole family together or chocolate brand which shows how we can enhance love between brothers and sisters or a television brand, home appliances brands, and lots more.
    So if you are working for any such brand when you are also promoting the family is important even today. These brands are attracting more customers by proving that they give more importance to family. giving priority to your family is still relevant today.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #612991
    we exist because we are God's creation, we could not and cannot decide on which family, we will be born into but biological parent/s have that choice.
    If we have a career we can at least come home with success or failure, imagine without a career, we would be a failure both outside and inside our home. If we need a career, it needs time, dedications and sacrifices at times unless family is way rich that one can imagine.
    If you look at our ancient civilisations, we were often grouped based on our work (career) warrior,merchant etc.
    Having a party or having a home need important basic things, family, bonding and resources. We cannot host a wedding or birthday party with only love and affection, We need resources ( money) to pay for the venue,food, decorations etc. Falling sick is most unfortunate, but a person who has a career/job would be far better to pay for the medical bills of his family than a person without a job.

  • #612992
    Family is not important because of money. You are just twisting my sentence. Without money will we be able to take proper care of our family? No, because for food, for medicines for everything you need money. I was referring to the sacrifices people make in life for their family.

    By saying family is the most important thing, it does not mean you have to sit with your family 24/7. It is the care, the love the support the family members exchange makes family the most important thing in life.

    'I am referring to your sentence ' They value money more than their family member. ' Are we sending our children to different places for their studies, because we value money? No, we are ready to spend our hard earned money for our kids, as we live for them. Like Mr. Venkiteswaran Sir mentioned in his earlier post (about a husband and wife), the wife didn't want the husband to go abroad. And he listened to her as he had a decent job already. What if people find it difficult to get a job, they will have to move out, even though the family members are not ready to send them. At the airports, you can see many people crying when they see their loved ones going abroad. Unemployment is still a problem in India.

    'You cited 80% of parents to be living with their children.' I have no where mentioned it and I have no idea why you are twisting my sentence. My sentence was very clear 'More than 80% people live for their kids'. You can go back to the thread and read it again.

    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #612993
    Madam Juana I would just like to point out that you have misunderstood or might have overlooked what I said. I clearly mentioned that civilization started with the family. Please go through the ancient history first and then come and debate. in the Social Sciences classes and in ancient history classes it is taught that's first humans learned to gather their food, sew thier own clothes, started living in a group, make a family and then they started earning a living or or learn something in Gurukul as you said. The start of a civilization did not mark any Gurukul or the barter systems from where we have the current business organisations. So please get your facts right or please read the sentences that are posted by the authors carefully and then find out the mistakes.
    Another point regarding the brands promoting importance of family, lots of people enjoy discounts in hotels, restaurants, while travelling because they are with their families.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #613009
    We have a problem with children staying in hostel and studying or when the children has to part their parents for studies. During olden days also, when joint family system was there, this was the practice, the kids used to stay with the Guru and study. Then why when it comes to the present scenario, people are saying because family is not most important parents are parting their children for studies. I do not understand the logic.

    When we talk about love, most of us say Mother's love can't be compared, which is true There was a recent thread in ISC also regarding the same. We have seen how the hen is protecting the chicks from eagle. The hen is ready to sacrifice her life for her kids, so is most of the mothers. Mother is also a part of the family and for her, the family is most important. But people debate as if in a family the members are selfish and everyone builds a family for their selfish needs. We have heard stories of parents donating organs to their kids or spouse donating organs. This is all because for them family is most important and so is the life of each member in the family.

    We know the likes and dislikes of our family members. We consult with our family on every important decision, we share our emotions, secrets everything with our family. So do they. Even when we buy a car, we check whether the full family can fit into it depending on the number of family members. When we built a house we consider the family members and accordingly design the number of rooms. We know our family better and there is no one who knows us better than our family. By saying family is most important does not mean we have no rights to think about ourselves. We are also a part of the family, why not think about ourselves? I don't find anything wrong in it as long as you are not doing anything against your family. People spend a major portions of their savings to build a house; this is for their family too and not for a single person to stay alone. During the construction phase, they design and color each rooms as per the taste of each individual in the house. Even when people have lot of debts, they still find some money to buy food for their family. Is this all not done because they consider their family to be the most important one?

    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #613011
    It depends on Person to Person, for Example, I want to give an example of two celebrities Narendra Modi the Prime minister of India he left his wife even he left his mother and family members for the sake of status. Now I want to tell one more person name called Raganath Film actor, poet, and a great intellectual who died because of loneliness after his wife was dead. To generalize the things is not possible on this issue, This GD is itself an absurd.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #613022
    #612932: Nice thoughts about family sir, you/we love the family which that you/we come from and the family which we have created. But love, care,worry, marriage, the words you have used are great but they alone cannot help you or me to feed them, to pay for their education, to pay for trips, to pay for the house etc.

    God created man but he also gave us mandatory needs and social needs that need money, many of us don't have family money that we can use forever, to earn money (even for our mandatory needs) is difficult for a middle-class person as these days jobs are difficult and competition is high. Further on to earn money honestly is even more difficult, So in order to meet the needs of our loved ones now and their needs for the near future, sometimes we need to put our job and career ahead of them.

    Come every day Family gives us breakfast, our careers pay for the same breakfast.

  • #613026
    Shaik mohammed sohail(#612934) has confused himself between community living and living as a family. Man, is a social animal. He lives as a community. He will have partner or partners. He may live in a homogeneous group. He may change the group also depending on what homogeneity he chooses..
    When we say today family is not important does not mean that man or woman will live in exclusivity without socialising or pairing or grouping. The group or the base unit shifts from 'family'. We can very clearly deduct this from the newer legislations and mandatory matters in our day to day life.
    Even in our country, the family concept with a male head of family and all others as members of that family has started changing. The new ration cards are issued in the name of the senior most women. It is not at all compulsory to have the name of father in a child's school records. Marriage is not mandatory and r 'living-in' is accepted. There is no limit prescribed for how many times to get married and get divorced. As the popular joke, 'My children' and 'your children' can or may not live with 'us' and 'our children'. Concept of family changed, family became not that important. There are pre-nuptial conditions about how the partners have to conduct when they live together or part. It is how 'I ' feel that is important now.

    I think, Mohan(#612936).also missed the real sense and intent of GD topic. What he says is indisputable er...till some decades ago. I also agree that people like Mohan, myself and many peers may also feel the same. But what is happening today? That is what the GD title says and ask us if we agree.

  • #613033
    It is true that family was a centre and priority having an umbilicus like connection to us . That is what the posts of gsadhiks #612960,still rely on. But they should observe the society around them to see that those were old times. The present time does not think family as important.
    Reena Upadhyaya vide #612964 has attempted to say that she agrees with the GD topic statement. I hope to see more validating points from her supporting her view.

    Vide post #612978,'ar' leads us to a very interesting but crucial situation .in modern life." She says" Some kids do not even like to accept their parents' friend requests on facebook as they feel their privacy will be intruded!". What I am concerned is, the situation has come to such a state that parents have to'request' via FB and social media to their children to make them 'friends'. From the old expression of 'friends and family' the word 'family' has been struck down.

    When she adds "If the family was really the most important thing in life today, there would be fewer people working away from home, fewer kids in hostels, fewer people in old age homes and so on." It is but stating in different words what I had already highlighted in the last para in my post #612966. The reason is the sense of sacrifice, which was the binding factor of a family is lost.

    Proved- family is no more the most important for any one in the family.

  • #613035
    Family according to one class of people is whole father, mother, brother s, sisters, wife/husband, sons, daughter but according to another class only wife/husband and their own children. The entire taste is only based on the family (here any class we can consider). If there is no family of either class the total life is immaterial as for whom one need to live or earn? According to me the first one is important to any as the real meaning of life and its purpose lies there.

  • #613046
    I appreciate Dr DR.N.V. Srinivasa Rao for using the examples from Mahabharata.That shows his wider perspective in knowledge.
    However,it is not very clear from Dr Rao's post #612979 which side he is standing.Though he started saying that he is "not in agreement with the statement that Family is not always the most important" , towards end he places one leg each in opposite courts. Does it not prove and extend my view when he says" Not even now those days also there are people who have given first priority to family and people who gave priority to other thin"?
    But then what to infer when he concludes with "These days also there are people who sacrificed their lives for family. There are people who deceived the family for their self-gain." ? I infer that Dr Rao also is convinced that 'family is not important' has started from early days also. I can say that now it has gained more strength and support, to be the commanding and prominent state of affairs.

    However when he comes to #612986, he sounds regretful that his father has sacrificed for the sake of family. That is why present people go in their own pursuits not giving family the top priority
    Natrajan has come with fine and apt examples. He could get the crux of the matter by a careful segregation of the phrasing (as I had done in my entry post) and could straightaway accept the topic line.
    With a smile of appreciation let me say that I feel he had (unaware of ) poached on my stock of justifications, which I had kept s deferred to use towards conclusion. Now I have to hunt for some better points!

    Chitra(#612992) gives a relevant point when she says that to show family is important one need not sit with the family 24 x7. That goes with my notion also. Experienced couples can vouch that some separation gives more affection and cementing to their relationship. I also agree with those who say that compelling reasons make them give family a lesser priority at times. But we get to see there are more who even when there are alternative solutions, still leave the family and go for satisfying their own individual aims and aspirations.
    Either way practically 'family is not always the most important thing in life today'

  • #613050
    On discussing about the GD Topic - Family is not always most important in life today, the first thing I want to put forward is 'What is a family?' . A family is a group of people who stay together with a bond in between. The bond between them is cordial as it binds the near and dear ones together. Like a child is bonded with his father, mother and grand parents. Later on that child will become a man who will be bonded with his wife and children.
    Now, if the bond between a child and his parents is considered then it is an inseparable one. The child is the best gift a family can have and at the same time the parents are the 'visible gods' for a child. The parents devote their time, money and life for the growth and development of a child. The love, affection, warmth that exist in between is inexplicable and probably the best in this world.
    Similarly, the bond between husband and wife is a cordial bond which has been developed by togetherness. Living under a same roof for years and realising each other's requirements and mentality another bond develops. Yes, clashes are there, difference of opinion is also a common event, but at the same time they know that they can't live without one another. They are just the reciprocals and one is incomplete without the other. More attachment comes with an issue between them. Life revolves around that child and his studies, his need his wantings become their need and their wanting.
    So, a family is the most important attachment because we live for our family. An old man and woman live depending on their son and daughter. Those persons with practically no abilities wish to spend a little time with their son. Once they were his ground on which he learnt to walk and run. Today the son is the stick, holding which they will walk the remaining miles of their life.
    There can't be anything more important than family, because what we are today, it is the endless contribution of our family.

  • #613057
    #613046: Sorry sir, if I've taken off your thoughts and examples earlier. The words 'Not' and 'always', most common are key in MCQ multiple choice question related to medical exams in India and abroad. We were drilled about this, whenever we see such catchwords be careful to choose the right answers. Apologies sir, I'm sure you will have much better examples than I have listed out.

  • #613064
    "Family is not always the most important thing in life today''. I fully agree. Only I would like to say that this is not a recent trend. This trend has been witnessed for thousands of years. People who are little bit different, people who are creative, people who are career-conscious and people who are conquerors, don't give much importance on family. This trend could be seen even in the ages of Veda.

    Before substantiating my position, let us start with the word 'family'. What is family? Nowadays family is defined as a social unit of two or more persons related by blood, marriage, or adoption and having a shared commitment to the mutual relationship. But this definition has become very narrow. In earlier days, parents, grandparents, cousins were considered part of immediate family-members. Over the years, the definition of family has narrowed down.

    Even if we start from the definition of family, we will understand that the narrowing down of the definition itself signifies that people, with the passage of time, don't want to remain attached with the family-members. They are not giving much importance with the concept of family. Day by day family is losing importance. That is the case of common men. This tendency is more prominent among creative people or those who are extremely conscious about career progression.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #613076
    I agree that the family is not always the most important in life and would like to concur with the point raised by Partha Sir that it is not a recent trend it was always there, though the family is important but not most important because of our priorities that we have chosen to lead our life.
    For an instance - a person who has choosen army as a career can't say that his priority is family because he have already given that priority to the nation by joining the army and hence the most important thing for him is the duty for the Nation.
    If you go by the concept of Hinduism which says "Vasudev Kutumbkam" that entire world is my family then you will not face any problem of prioritizing your blood-related family over other matters because then the whole world becomes your family.
    It's our selfish thinking that made us limited to just a single unit of family related by blood otherwise you can have a family even with strangers not related by blood for eg - an adopted child also get the same amount of love from parents as if he is a blood-related child if parents don't have narrow-mindedness.
    It is about choosing priority even in other real life situations other than selecting a career, our conditions lead us to consider whether the family should be at utmost important or not at that particular point of time.
    We love our family but that doesn't mean we need to keep it always in the most important position and thus hinder our decision making capability, because to achieve things in life to be someone who we want to be we sometimes need to stay away from our family it's a social understanding and doesn't mean that a person is ambitious and is not giving time to family. It's because of that person's individual identity as one single unit and that single unit is important too other than the whole family being one unit or entity.
    You can get a family like feeling even with strangers if priorities are clearly set if you have affection for each other but sometimes even a family related by blood is not able to understand the plight through which you are going but still have a false sense of being a connected and joint family and this false sense leads to things honour killing, and killing in the name of family's respect. These horrific family lovers say that they did such horrific crimes for the sake of family and justifies themselves by saying family comes first and family is important.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #613077
    In my opinion family is the most important thing in life and so I go with it. The origin of any individual starts with family. We grow both physically and mentally with the help of our family, we develop love, affection and our concern and attachment to the loved ones with the help of our family. If family is not the important thing for what an individual has to lead his/her life in this world? If it is not so he/ she has to spend a meaning less life on this earth. God has created human beings in this world to enjoy the pleasures and sorrows through the family and their relationships. The meaning of the life is to enjoy the pleaures, feelings, sharing your love, affection, concern, sorrow, bad and good moments with your family. The live example to show tha family is the most important thing in life is how the individuals of Western countries get desrted, deluded, secluded and leading hopeless life eventhough lots of money is there with them. This is the reason why people of western countries love and aspire the culture of family relationship and their bonding nurtured in India.

  • #613086
    I do not agree. Family is the most important thing in the life. We do everything for our family. Every person want a happy family so that he want to get a good carrier, want money to sustain a comfortable life, etc.
    In present scenario family means husband, wife and children. Most of the people do not want to live with their parents. They want to live with only with their wives and children. But ultimately family is the most important thing the most important gift of the life given to everyone by the god.

    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #613092
    If family is not the important thing then to which thing we give more preference? Because of world changing or the priorities are changing we should not move to the wrong side of the life. Anybody who is doing some injustice to the family every body in the society talk bad about them. By going to the wrong side what is the end result? We have to see will it make our life better or not? You are saying all our relationships in a family are opportunistic or selfish and then can we say that the everlasting love shown by our parents on us is that type? Whether you love them or not or whether you care them or not they always think about your safety and prosperity. Because of world is like that can we discard family concept and go with some other priority?

  • #613093
    Putting self interest first or prioritizing one thing over other doesn't means discarding the former one its just that giving more importance to one thing over other and the whole debate is regarding giving importance.
    Anyone giving preference to career or anything else over family doesn't discard his/her family it is just giving a little extra space and extra time to what you consider more important at that particular point of time while family and friends remaining at the place as it is they were earlier.
    In some cases even whole family abandon a person just because that person desires a little different from what he/she have for eg- Ummul Kher 14, her parents disowned her because she wanted to study beyond Class 8. but her sheer merit and determination took her ahead as she went on to get admission in a prestigious Delhi University college and later entered JNU for her master's. And cracked the civil services exam in her first attempt.
    she has received 16 fractures and eight surgeries due to her disease.She got all India rank 420. She now hopes to get IAS under disability quota.
    If Ummal Kher would have given most importance to her family she would not have been able to achieve what she achieved. So sometime its better to give priority to other things also and be practical.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #613094
    Similar to your examples some of my close relatives who got opportunity to go abroad have shown priority to their families and rejected the offers. Some of them after going abroad stayed for sometime and returned back to India because their inclination towards their families. Most of the professional people who are going abroad are taking their families along with them and are living happily. They are also taking their parents if they are interested to stay abroad and so many of them are enjoying their life abroad. So many of the professionals doing their jobs peacefully as they are staying with their families.

  • #613095
    Here are some quick points as why giving importance to family is still important today.
    1. There is the reason why people say, Money can't buy happiness. It is because no matter how you succeed in your career and how much money you have you cannot buy love, affection, trust, respect of people that you get from a loving family.
    2. If you closely you look at people who are highly successful in their career, you will see that somewhere they have definitely thanked their family for being a constant support to them. The reason is that without giving priority to their family they would not have succeeded this much.
    3. If you do not have a loving family or you do not give priority to your family then when you die nobody is there to share your assets and debts. if you do not give importance to your family, why would they share your loss and gain when you leave this world point.
    4. When you misbehave publicly, then then people often ask you that whether your family has taught you any decorum. When you are known a good conduct people say that your conduct shows how well upbringing you had by your family. So technically it is your family that is your first teacher. How can you neglect your first teacher in your life?
    5. Big corporate houses have eventually understood how being the family is important to deliver good performance. Hence most of them has started the concept of work from home. They lies your answer whether family is still important today.
    6. There is a popular story in Bengal which goes like this, a ferryman was unknowingly ferrying goddess Parvati. When goddess Parvati revealed her identity and asked him to pray for a boon, he asked her to bless his child with food and health. So you see deep down we all always know and give most importance to our family.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #613107
    You are born on this earth just because of your parents. And if those two, mother and father decide that they do not like to continue as a family what will be your faith. A new born child, helpless and unable to move lie in a place and weep continuously till some body else come for help. If these new comers are keen on keeping You, you become part of another parents. That again leads to the beginning of another family. You stick to it, perhaps till you can stand on your own legs. After certain stage you may leave that family only when you wanted build up another one of yours. Naturally as part of pulling on the life you ought to have found out a job. Together with both these events your concentration goes to strengthening the family. Because without that you feel you are useless. Those without a family might be thinking occasionally what for they are living. Many go on making money and after a certain stage think about building a family. It is just because of the above thought. Thus, in short, comes back into family living. Otherwise some may go to accept a life of a Sanyasin.
    Gold Member ISC

  • #613112
    Continuing from my previous response, I would like to state that the concept of family has been shrinking over the years. Nowadays, we are following the concept of nuclear family where even the husband's parents are not considered family members. As a result of this shrinking concept of family members, in ordinary families, husband, wife and child/children become excessively dependent on one another (other family members).

    If we think minutely, we will understand that this excessive dependence is causing more harm than good. In case of emergency, people do not have any support system because the family has shrunk. So, the nuclear family system has to some extent causing hindrances to individual growth. The day today problems of life are taking too much time and efforts. As a result, a person (male of female alike) cannot pursue his/her dream wholeheartedly.

    So, many people who are career-oriented are deciding against marriage and having family. This is solely for the purpose of progress in career and in life. They don't want to get involved in the mundane activities relating to the family.

    Ms. Joyshree has stated in one of her responses:" "Even animals give maximum priority to their family". I completely disagree with her. There is no concept of family in animals, although some animals remain in groups. So, we should not bring animals in the present discussion.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #613115
    In the present world family is not the most important thing.

    Think a few years back, how many of us would wish to settle out of our country living our family, There were only less number of people who were residing out of the family. But now people residing out of the family has increased and people residing with family has decreased. As the demand for money increased, the priority for the family has become less.

    In today's age how many people are taking care of their parents. In most of the families Parents are considered as burden. Are there any old age homes some 30 years back? Even Though it exists, only a countable number exists. But now each town has an old age home because money has become more important than parents, who gave their children a family.

    This is not our fault. Increase in demand for money changed us this way. To fulfill the needs for our life both men and women are working. And hardly they have a time to spend with each other and their kids. Kids are grown in creeches, they don't get the bonding and love of parents as we got. We spend most of the time in computers, mobiles and other entertainment, and speak less to our family.

    Yes,there exists a family bonding even today but the priority is not given to the family.

  • #613118
    In my first post, I have given my opinion that family is the first priority always and I tried to say that family is always the same but the size will increase.But the concept will change from person to person. Dharmaja thought that his game is more important than family. But his brothers thought family is more important. Like this, the views of persons will differ. This is my opinion.
    If you alone go to a movie, you may enjoy the movie by simply seeing the movie. But if you go with your family for the same movie your happiness and enjoyment you can share with the family there itself. This will give you more happiness than when you go alone.
    The very existence of us in this universe is family. Your parents gave birth to you and they have taken care of you. You grow elder and marry. An addition to your family. Then you will have your child another addition to your family. The size will increase. The very purpose of earning is not alone for your existence. Primarily it is for your family. So our very existence will go with family only. So always we should feel that our family is important than all things always.

    always confident

  • #613120
    Nice views put forth by #613095.
    1.for a family to be functional, love, affection, trust alone isn't enough, it needs money that's the harsh reality.One more has to focus on the career so that the family can be sustained and then continue loving.
    2.If we carefully analyze highly successful people, somewhere down the line, they would have put family aside, focussed on the career, taken the bull by the horns and then reached the position to thank the family for their constant support for their success.
    3.God has created each of us different, everybody wishes for a loving family, some don't have it, some have it. To have a career and a loving family is ideal but all of us can't be winners some have to live alone at least they have their careers. After their demise, the society gets a chance to share their wealth or sadly it's grabbed later on by the same so-called family members who rejected or left them solitary in the first place.
    4.There are many members of loving families in high position misbehaving in public. There are shining examples of people who don't have a family being model citizens. The same public often sees young children and toddlers used for begging and the same public ask 'what sort of parents, can't they work and earn money to feed their children instead of cruelly making them beg for money'.
    5. Big corporate houses are like people standing on the stage, they have to do whatever it takes to safeguarding their image. Ask any working mother or pregnant mother the reason for work from home is to have publicity, retain their staff and to tick the box that 'we (corporates) value our employees work vs life balance;'. The harsh reality is, behind closed doors the same corporates would be cursing such a policy as it's not worth the money they pay as salary).
    7.The ferrying man is a clever person, he's asked for food and health for his child, as he knows both need money and I would say, he got 2 for 1.

    None of us in this thread are or should go away with the thoughts that Family is not important at all. It is just that at some point in time we, in our family (at least 1each) need to think of ourselves to have a career, earn money so that we can always have our family and helps them to be better.

  • #613124
    There is no doubt that family is a very important thing for all of us and that is the nucleus of our activities. Generally speaking we are for our family and family is behind us in times of need.

    Unfortunately the modern life and its hectic schedules with cut throat competitions everywhere are changing this inter relationship between the family members. The reason is very simple that in an effort of making ones career and to fulfill ones ambitions a person sometimes neglects his family though he may occasionally repent later for that.

    So due to the challenges of modern life and ambitions to reach the top in minimum possible time many people are not giving sufficient time to their families which is some times affecting the delicate connection between the family members and that particular person. So it is not that people do not care their families, it is basically the toll the modern life style is putting on them.

    In general it is true that people like their families but there are exceptions where some people due to some childhood psychological incidents do not like their families and sometimes desert them and go to unknown areas not to return for ever. These are the aberrations sitting deep in the subconscious minds of such people.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #613138
    I am not agree with the sentence " Family is not always the most important thing in life today". This is because , No One can get success in life with support of family . I have seen a large number of examples where people gets success with the help of family in modern world
    Phagu Mahato
    Success occurs when opportunity and preparation meet.

  • #613141

    You are talking about now a days people are giving importance to money but not family. You gave a few examples and you are telling that you have proved that family is not the important thing today. Suppose a father has son and who got an attractive job in a foreign country. Father feel proud because his son has attained a good position and the son will feel happy because he was able to achieve the aspirations of his father. So the son shifts to foreign country with his family is it a selfish move ? Does the father think his son deserted them? Many of the people who got job in foreign countries are staying with their families following the same traditions and culture as like in India. Any human is naturally selfish in that he wants to earn more so that he can keep his family happy and comfortable. He is working hard to make his family members happy. He forget all his hard work and feels elated as he put his family in good position. He desires his family members to attain good position. Similarly the better half also if possible give a hand to put the family in a good condition. So both of them are thinking for the welfare and good of family only. Then you and what Juana talking selfish motives behind were not clear.

    Then talking about priority, if some one earning more money means they are not giving priority to family is not at all proper. In above one of the thread Mr.Bhushan (#612985, #613011) gave good examples for misconception of priority of money and family what you are talking about.

  • #613145
    I wrote a Poem in Telugu regarding family the poem is like this

    samsaram ante rendu manusula samaharam
    lothu ga alochisthe kani anthuchikadu dhani saraam
    samasaram lo ni saramu thelisinapude kalguthundi sukhaharam
    lekopothe avuthundhi adhi nisaramu.

    Meaning in English.

    A family is nothing but understanding of between two hearts ( A married Couple in this context)
    If you introspect deeply(about the family) then only you know the superfluity of a family
    If you understand the superfluity of a family then only you live happily
    Otherwise, a family will become fruitless or vain.

    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #613146
    A person who is working hard and try to earn more means, is he not giving importance to his family over career? No, not at all. He is working hard to earn more money to make his family more happy and comfortable. If suppose he becomes lazy and not working hard and makes his family struggle for food means he is not giving importance for the family.

  • #613163
    First of all we need to understand what a family is. In olden days, many people lived together in a big or joint family. However, with the evolution of nuclear families, the concept of a family is completely changed. Since the heading of the GD mentions about the present days, we can presume that the family we are supposed to discuss about is of a nuclear family.

    Now coming to the main issue i.e. 'whether family is always the most important thing in one's life or not'. Here we need to divide our life in three different stages and the importance of the family varies with every stage.
    As a teenager, one's life is solely dependent on their parents for all of their basic needs. I won't say that there are no exceptions, but they are very few in numbers and need not be taken into consideration. Therefore, at this stage, the importance of family (parents) remains inevitable.

    The next or the middle stage is the most critical one. The child has grown up, completed education and now searching for a suitable career. In order to get it and to achieve the desired goal, he/she sets out leaving everything behind. No hurdle, even love, affection and care of parents can stop him/her. It is not that he/she completely neglects his/her parents but devotes most of the time in developing the career. Generally, this stage continues from the age of 20-22 years to 25-30 years and it is here that his/her priorities are often more than family bonds. And this is where one compels to think that career and achievements in life are more important in comparison to family.

    Now at the third stage, the child is well- established (Let's presume so) and happy thinking that he/she has achieved something in life and wishes to settle down. He/she gets married and raises a family. Here again, he/she becomes responsible towards the family and devotes himself/herself for the cause of the family; for the spouse and kids and the importance of family returns in full fledged.

    Thus the cycle goes on. In every man's life there is a time when the family is very important and at other time, it is not so.
    Therefore, in my opinion; it is absolutely futile to conclude that one has no importance of family before career. Since out of the three stages, he/she feels the need and importance of the family in most part of life, I must say that barring a few years, family is always important in one's life. And even is those few years, he/she is always at the beck and call of his parents, i.e. the family.

    Every day is a new day for learning something new.

  • #613176
    A family is very important part of our life, without family we tend to be nothing. When we don't have a family, we try to make our friends or neighbors as our family and convince ourselves that they are our family. There is no doubt that family is very important and it comes first in our life if not always at least preferably most of the time. So as the title says "Family is not ALWAYS the most important thing in life today", I do agree that in certain circumstances we have to let go of our family and won't be able to give them the utmost priority. It could be our helplessness or circumstances. Had the title been Family is not the most important thing in life today I wouldn't have supported it as they are important, but since it says NOT ALWAYS, we cannot deny that fact.

    Let me take a scenario for an example if the boss has organized an emergency meeting where you are required but at the same time, you have promised your family to spend some time with them. What would you choose? You will have let go the promised time with your family and attend the emergency meeting. As spending time with family can always take a back seat but not urgent meetings.

    Here the important thing is not family, it has taken a back seat due to priorities. So like this, there are many circumstances where you cannot give due importance to the family. The above example is just a small incident.

  • #613188
    If family is priority then nothing can stand between an individual and his family. Choosing career, money or other things as an excuse to move away from family itself shows that at least at that point of time when other things are given more importance, family has been thrown down from priority list from number one to much below.

    A person may very well argue that they moved away from family because the need of the hour was to earn more or get further education so that they could improve their way of living and in turn give their family a better living. Whatever may be the reason, things might have been done for the family, but still at that point of time, family isn't the top priority.

    Moving away from family to earn more means money is given more importance. Staying away from family to get better education means career is given more importance. Thus, instead of giving false justifications, it is better to accept the truth.

  • #613191
    I agree with the correct points raised by Nomita in the above thread that the discussion should go on along with the present context of nuclear families. Many members on the back drop of combined families confusing with their discussions that the entire family relationships are worsened, selfishness, priority to individuality is given, family becomes last priority etc. In the present nuclear family situation also the priority given is first family only.

  • #613193
    Humans around the world (in general) are born into a family, nurtured and once they can spread their wings, they fly out, become independent, face the world, equip themselves and often start a family of their own. This is the practice in many countries barring a few examples where people decide to remain single or are unfortunate to be orphans. During these times family support is there at hand and is valuable but we live in a world that is harsh to put it mildly, once has to experience challenges, learn to be independent, have socially acceptable means to give back to the families they've come from and the families they created for themselves. Hence, in the pursuit to achieve these their are times where family takes a backseat to let opportunities, careers and ambitions to move upfront to be successful and happy.

  • #613207
    Mr. Partha, let me clarify that nowhere in my argument have I mentioned that animals move or roam in families. They might or might not, that's not the point of this GD. If you hurt a sibling or child of a dog or a cat or a monkey or other animals, then they will come forward and protect their family in whichever way possible. Herein we can draw it's significance with our GD.
    I hope I could make you understand the point. Moving on, some authors have spoken about selfishness regarding giving priority to the family. I am happy that knowingly or unknowingly they are giving points against the motion. Whatever be the cause of your selfishness to be bonded to a family, be it money, or companionship, family becomes the first priority even for those selfish persons.
    It is true that, a lot of people are moving to another state or country for a better job or career. But does that mean that they don't consider family over career. Giving priority to family doesn't always mean that you have to stick to your family night and day. I think that's not the issue given as a GD topic. If you consider the life of an unskilled labor, then mostly he travels across states for employment. But that's simply because he needs the amount of money to suffice the basic needs of the entire family. The improvement in career is not his motto. He wants the survival of his family. So you see many times people move out of the family for the betterment of the family. So here also family becomes the most important factor.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #613208
    Nobody here has said that family is not important, it is important and everybody accept the fact that because of this entity called family we have survived for this long and grown up as a civilization but that doesn't make it the most important thing as the topics talks about.
    It's not always the most important thing, there are other things which become most important for us during various phases of our life as explained in various previous comments. Such as career, job, marriage, education of children. Time to time our priorities keep shifting from one thing to other and these things become most important. So its impractical for any human being to keep family at utmost importance and spoil all other happiness from his/her life for eg- sometimes our happiness is against our family's wishes and desires and in such situation if we compromise just because we keep family as the most important or have a false believe that family is the most important thing for us thing than our unfulfilled desires remains as regret for lifelong and we can't love our family as much as earlier.
    So it's not a bad thing to be selfish sometimes and giving other things a little importance too this will also be in favor of our family because if we stay happy we could make our family happy but if we ourselves are not happy then how can we make others happy? so little selfishness( a better word is prioritizing things is not bad as many people may take selfishness in a negative way), although the family remains important in our live but not most important.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #613212
    #613207, Whether we are working hard to earn more, whether we are taking more care about children to educate and succeed them in their life what for we are doing? The basic reason for all these is to make the family more happy and more comfortable. So the priority for what you are doing for all these is family. So how can you say the priority that the person is given for children or job or something? The purpose for what we do at any stage is to make our family happy. So family is the most important thing whatever things we do.

  • #613218
    As per my thinking, family is the most important thing in life. We need family to survive. Family keeps us intact to various things like our tradition and culture. Without family, we will not be able to realize the value of both these things. Family makes us good human beings.
    Though there are many factors like career and education that creates little differences. For the career and future, the son or daughter will might have to move or go to distant place. But the love and bonding is never lost. The significance of a family exists with and inside every human being.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #613219
    Why do people take life insurance? On their death, the nominee will get a lump sum money that can be used by them to live even in the absence of the policyholder. In 90% cases, the nominee will be a family member. We are investing our hard-earned money while we are alive, just to make sure that our family is safe even after our death. In this thread, I could see some members commenting that people are selfish. Is it because there are selfish that they take policy for their families? No, because family is most important, they plan in advance for their family.

    Be it, joint family or nuclear family, that is not the point here. According to us are we considering family as the most important thing in our life is the question? Just because someone is leading a nuclear family, does not mean he is not giving importance to his family. Maybe he values his family more and wants his family to live happily without the issues of a joint family and hence he has moved out.

    Partha #613112 "So, many people who are career-oriented are deciding against marriage and having a family." This is your sentence in the above post. My reply is, it is their personal decision and interest. Even though they are not married, they still have a family. There are people who do not marry just for the sake of their family. When the responsibility is in their head, like getting the sisters married off, providing the fund for the studies of the younger ones, looking after parents and grandparents; some people are so indulged in it and live for the family that they do not even think of having another family of their own. Can we say there are no people like that? They are not getting married because they consider their family to be more important than the pleasures and happiness of a married life.

    Sruthi #613115 A few years back the population was not so much and the unemployment rate was also not this bad. We know today things are getting expensive, so money and job are required to take care of the family whom we considered to be the most important thing in life. Hence some people are forced to move out to other countries. Do you mean that a person has to stay with his family lifelong, and just roam around until he gets a job in his country and also ends up taking a job that pays you the least and is not even in accordance with your qualifications just to prove himself that for him his family is more important?

    Demand for money has increased, but why? It is because people want money to take care of their family by meeting the rising expenses and also they want to provide the luxurious lifestyle to their family. There is nothing wrong it. You love your family and you want them to get the best in everything. Will anyone just give away the money they earn to someone whom they do not consider to be important? No. This proves that family is important to them and hence people are saving and spending for their family.

    "And hardly they have time to spend with each other and their kids. " We need to change as the situations changes. Earlier parents didn't have to pay school fees as most of the kids were sent to government schools or were given minimal education. Even lunch was provided in schools. Also, children in those days didn't have proper clothes or facilities like now. But now in order to provide a good education for the children, both the parents have to work. No doubt the kids are getting more facilities than olden times because there is money now. Even though things are expensive, parents get all required things for their kids. So there will be lack of time, but that does not mean the family is not most important to them. It is very important and hence the wife is also going to work so that her kids can be well educated. Weekends they take the kids out to the park or beach, they are spending time with their kids. Earlier when there were 11 children for a couple and when they lived in a joint family with many others and their kids. Do you think they had the time to spend with each of their kid separately? No, I don't think so. Now as the number of kids has reduced to 2-3, parents have more time to spend with their kids.

    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #613226
    I would like to state a few words by Marco Rubio, "If the family breaks down, the society breaks down".
    The foundation stone of any society is a family, but what do we see today is a really different story and the picture of a family.
    Nowadays, there are cases of divorce and single-parent families, blended families involving remarriages, two-career families where both parents work outside and leave the kids at daycare, mobile families in cases of families of soldiers and army officers. Hence, we need to direct our discussion towards this new definition of " a family" which has such varying dynamics in the context of age, sex, marital status, culture, ethnicity, social responsibilities, career and so forth.
    Family values are changing and parents are not thinking twice before going for a divorce or a shift to a remote area.The psychological impact it has on the kids and the spouse cannot be easily understood until we are in the same shoes as them.Hence, I would say that yes, the modern family is really not considering family to the most important thing in life nowadays.Not to forget the cases of gay and lesbian families which are also arising in some parts of the world.

    "If things go wrong, don’t go with them"

  • #613230
    As per the GD reviews are 50 :50 as some say family is not important and some say its important. There was review only if we are with family it doesn't mean we like or else not. Yes that was right family liking will be always there even if your away.
    Solider who are away from their family will always be missing their family so much. But according to me every man needs a family to share his sorrow's and happiness.

  • #613231
    We see in Newspapers that a Mother left her child in Garbage, We see a mother doing abortions for not able to feed the child. We also see Mother reluctant to give milk to the born child as she thinks that she loses her beauty or Father raped her daughter or Father kill the whole family for some other reason as brother killed her own brother and sister for assets issue these are the things occur in rare and we should not to generalize these things and tell that family is not important.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #613236
    It is almost 48 hours since I posted my view last in this GD. As was expected some more members have entered the discussion pitching in their views and those who already were in the arena have elaborated their views and also tried to bring in more points.
    (Let me start with my response to #613057: Natarajan, nothing to apologise, my remark was actually a compliment to you.)

    Many participants who oppose the GD have actually mistaken about the GD topic line. The topic does not question the family as a system, not does it say that family was not essential. Seein many responses it appears that the GD is against the family and as such.
    The folowing argument gives that doubt:
    "There can't be anything more important than family, because what we are today, it is the endless contribution of our family."(Srijita Dey 613050).
    Similarly Ramakrishna Kambhampati in #613077 reminds us that : "...people of western countries love and aspire the culture of family relationship and their bonding nurtured in India. Quite right, till now. It is very regretful to see that probably the last remaining place of cohesive family life system also is moving towards collapse.
    " That ,means family as the basic unity of social living is almost gone ad individual is the unit now.
    Echoing the essence, but explaining it bett is ,ParthaKansabank in i #613064;"But this definition(of family) has become very narrow. In earlier days, parents, grandparents, cousins were considered part of immediate family-members. Over the years, the definition of family has narrowed ".Almost on the lines of Partha Kansabanik's discussion,Nomita Mitra traces the evolution of the shrinking expanse of the family, which was joint but has come to be nuclear now.
    Stressing the same vide #613076 neelam joshi really lends strength to our side points while saying "It's because of that person's individual identity as one single unit and that single unit is important too other than molecule mass reducing to atom. Further split will be really damaging.

    Sruti Gopalakrishnan ( #61311) on a compromise view has really condensed the matter in a single line." there exists a family bonding even today but the priority is not given to the family."

    Phagu Mhatao(613138) asserts point blank that "there exists a family bonding even today but the priority is not given to the family." That only adds to my point to prove the modern trend .

    Probably one strong point to counter the protagonists is made by by Chitra observing "Why do people take life insurance?.......... investing our hard-earned money while we are alive, just to make sure that our family is safe even after our death. ".My applause to her in bringing that point.I do not want t counter that argument.

    That was all a good fare in this discussion.
    So I trust that putting my own justifications and taking and analysing the points buy the opposing side, I have made it clear that today, family is not always the utmost important.

  • #613240
    In my previous two responses, I tried to state that many career-oriented people don't want to take the burden of raising their family. They are so career-conscious that they also cut the contact with the existing family-members. They are workaholic and career-minded.

    Now I am going to mention the names of some great people (both men and women) who remained bachelor/spinster throughout their life. They consciously took this decision to dedicate their lives for the service of the society. Some of these greats are:-
    1. George Eastman
    2. Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
    3. Sir Issac Newton
    4. Voltaire
    5. Blaise Pascal
    6. Ludwig van Beethoven
    7. Leonardo da Vinci
    8. Atal Bihari Vajpayee
    9. Ratan Tata
    10. Dr. Homi J. Bhabha
    11. Anna Hazare
    12. M. Visvesvaraya
    13. Dr. Ram Manohar Lohia
    14. George Bernard Shaw
    15. Diane Keaton
    16. Oprah Winfrey
    17. Coco Chanel
    18. Susan B. Anthony
    19. Dr. Condoleezza Rice
    20. Jane Austen
    21. Lata Mangeshkar
    22. J. Jayalalitha
    23. Mamata Banerjee
    24. Kiran Desai
    25. Ekta Kapoor

    These men and women need no introduction. They are known because of their work; they are known for their contribution to the society, art, culture and literature. They have been so engrossed in their work that they never felt the need to have family. They remained alone so that their creativity, genius is not restricted/obstructed by mundane family life.

    I will end my present response with some of the quotes of some of these great men and women.
    (a) Anthon St. Maarten: "Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience."
    (b) William Makepeace Thackeray: "If a man's character is to be abused, say what you will, there's nobody like a relative to do the business."
    (c) Diane Keaton: "I don't think that because I'm not married it's made my life any less. That old-maid myth is garbage.''

    These quotes clearly indicate the views of these great people on family life.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #613251
    My discussion and dissection till now was to establish that the GD topic line is a fact, in existence today.
    However a discussion or debate will not be complete and fair unless we find the reasons for the situation and also suggesting some ways for remedy or redressal.

    Some of the participants have traced the thinning of the family size and expanse gradually and ending up as individual. That shows that this is not of ne day's sudden happening.
    In his post 613145, Bhushan talks about family or 'samsaaram'. That gives me a lead. I had heard many elders and religious speakers mentioning about 'Samsaara chakra' and praying for the release from the 'Samsaara saagara' or the unfathomable ocean called family.

    As per the ancient Hindu traditional division of one's life into four'Aasramaa' or stages, the third and fourth are Vaanaprastha and Sanyaasa respectively. The third stage is the preparation for renouncing all attachments including family and the fourth is the actual renouncing. So it can be seen that 'family' becomes important only in the first two stages namely. The difference now is that in modern days people tend to get detached from family even during Brahmacharya and Gruhastha. Stages also. Is it for this that they say modern life is very fast?
    As stated by a participant earlier, the trend was from early days too.

  • #613252
    So, what makes the present day people give less importance or no importance to family? For this we have to know what was the family giving an individual or how was the family beneficial?
    1. Previously family gave a sense of safety-Then the dangers were only from near and physical sources a united family could be a safety guard.. However modern dangers are multi pronged and multi dimensional. A small family is not a guarantee., and many times it makes the person more vulnerable. Individual defence and strategy are needed. So family is not that inevitable now, when you start on your own.

    2. Family was an underlying reference for generally judging one's character and training in values. In those times, family name and lineage were influencing factors in a person's entry for a job, higher education and marriage proposal. Now, a detailed background of a person can be obtained from his/her social media footprints and messages.

    3. Family was main source of income – Job opportunities and wages and salaries were less in early days. It was only the elder one or two males who were earning. Hence to stretch the income and source to optimum, people were staying as a family by sharing of space, food and efforts. In the current days, job opportunities are much, wages are far better and higher, availability of consumption items are sufficient.. As there are alternatives in everything from income to consumption and saving, one compelling necessity factor to be a family is removed.

    4. Children's education and character building –The LKG UKG and pre school system were not there early. Little children had to be kept under the care of the women of the house(as they were not employed ) or with the grandparents. The initial teaching of alphabets and character building by storytelling and reinforcing values was done by the elder family members. Transport facilities, especially the individually used two wheelers , hostel or paying guest facilities were not there and this prevented many from going out for higher education.This necessitated the continuance of a well knit family.

    5. Now, every facility is available, and youth and teens who want to be free birds and also want to go for various specialisation stay away from the family. As that habit comes from very early stages, they become self dependent and do not feel the necessity of a family always with them. The same trend continues in their adult life also.

    6. The reason for nuclear family is not just the attitude of the youngsters alone. The elder parents also willingly contribute to that. In the present day when health and longevity has increased much, the retired parents or senior citizen also have the energy and need for exploration, freedom, entertainment and enjoyment. Thus re-enacting the vaanaprastha in a modern way the elders also go out on tours, pilgrimage and also stay separate accommodation.

    7. In India, there was a concept of 'Hindu Undivided Family. This was given a separate entity and preference in treatment of existence, ownership and taxation. This helped as a binding force of continuance and sticking to family. However the decline of family business and moving towards corporate entity and easiness of functionality given to those entities by new rules and facilities saw UHF decline causing ith that decline of many families.

    8. For all and every reason for which family was given first and utmost importance started crumbling one by one when more modern and convenient alternatives came. Thus the omni entity family started getting replaced by separate groups and units or dispensation for each of such purposes. Such modern nova families known in different names as club, association, social media groups, trade unions, or employee associataions, senir citizen group, women's neighbourhood groups, Residents associations, religious groups, and many more to imagine. came into being taking the space of a single family. This gave the individuals a relief from the monotony of the familiarity of the same family and gave variety and lessened the burden of liabilities and duties.

    9. Various loans, scholarships, aids and incentives saw that there was no dependence on exclusive 'family' funding and not much importance to family. A lot of things which were taken care of exclusively by family became available and procured by money. Money could erase a major part of family's importance.

    10. Modern communication and conveyance facilities and conveniences obviated the necessity of family members physically staying at a place. Instead of meeting being at the same home, video calls/chats could bring same effect on real time. Online facilities, even for medical assistance and other needs, which could be even controlled by remote or by voice and gesture commands also helped not to feel the absence of a family as such.

    11. After and apart from all these reasons, importance to family was ignored or refused by the sheer selfish, self seeking individuals too.

  • #613254
    According to your arguments the key points what you mentioned are
    1. #612966, Because of career or job at present family priority is lost. Family priority for an individual stands at the lowest order.
    2. #612973, Family is not important today. Family set up was lost completely. Individuals becoming more and living happily.
    3.#612975, A family is just something most people use for their own convenience. Individuals become selfish and individuals becoming more important and the importance to the family is in last order.
    4. #613026, Family relationships are not there but illegal relationships becoming more.
    5. . #613033, family is no more the most important for any one in the family..
    6. #613046, But we get to see there are more who even when there are alternative solutions, still leave the family and go for satisfying their own individual aims and aspirations.
    7. Mostly Quotes of members who supported for the GD statement and your assertion. You gave a concession for Chitra for a giving a good point.

    You arguments mainly rotates on the back ground of old traditions of combined family and in comparison with present relationships and bonding between the family members. Your view at present individuals are becoming more and families are becoming sparse. Selfish attitudes are becoming more in family members. Individuals are becoming selfish and they are working for their happiness and enjoyment. So your arguments mainly focusing worsening situation of families and complete deterioration of families and only individuals are existing.

    If family is not important for what sake an individual work hard and earn money? Is it for his selfish needs and enjoyment he earn money? He/She feels elated if their earnings keep their family in a good and happy position? Mother and father don't they think if their children must be well educated and well settled in their life? For that don't they give priority? In any family whatever they are doing is for the sake and welfare of the family only? If their children attains high position, father don't he feel proud? Then where is priority to individuals, selfishness, full filling own aspirations, self enjoyment etc. Even the daily wage laborers also with their hard earning through their hard work making their children study in Convent schools to see their future is not like them? Is it not giving priority to family? In some of the responses your sayings indicate even at loss in earning if individuals cling to the family only to be considered as priority to family otherwise not. The main problem you are raising is individuals going abroad is the set back for family relations. But how many of them going abroad only single individuals leaving their families. It is very less percentage what the problem you are highlighting. At present as the attitude of the countries of the world changing because of that the migrations of Indians surely become less and less year by year. Students who got job abroad are usually go single individuals and if they got married afterwards they are staying along with their family. In my previous thread itself I mentioned that such hyped family relationships what you mentioned in your above responses are are sporadic and not in general. Even some times the best friends you may thought also may cheat you but your family members always at back of you. Even those who are for the motion also mentioning family is undoubtedly the important thing with few exceptional times its priority changes.

  • #613258
    In recent times, in Maa Telugu Channel we have watched a 70 days "Big Boss" Reality show. In which 14 contestants mostly from cine field were involved. If they have to win the competition they have to stay till the 7o th day. Initially all of them started happily. Every week candidates will be eliminated basing on the votes they got from viewers. But in the first week itself one of the competitor who is a popular comedy actor (Sampu) got saddened and maddened just by thinking about his family members. He appealed the organizers to send him away from the show. The rule for the competitors is, if any one try to leave by themselves from the show they have to pay fine. Even then by showing negative attitude he tried to get away from the show to meet his family. Suddenly he went out of the Big Boss house even without eliminated by organizers of the show. In the same show one of the contestant (Dhan Raj) whose wife is a pregnant. He acted so entertainingly many weeks and almost many of them thought he is going to be Tittle winner. But by thinking about his wife continuously he got saddened and maddened and from that time on wards he started showing negative attitude and he left the show. Similarly all the contestants few weeks afterwards carved and urged for contact with their family members. Then the organizers allowed to have few minutes contact with their family members through phone call. All of them wept and enjoyed the few minutes contact with their family members. Before the final weeks the organizers allowed one of the family members to meet each of the contestant for a little time. After meeting, their joy and inspiration they got through their short meeting can be clearly seen through their facial expressions and their involvement in the show afterwards. Generally we think Cine personalities have more illegal affairs and they don't maintain good family attitudes. After seeing this, a very large number of viewers felt how even cinema people also carve for their families and relationship bonds between them. Remember this is not acting, every viewer of this reality show have realized the contestants inclination to their family members through their sadness, joy, facial appearance, facial expressions and through their gestures. It is a concrete example for how every individual give first priority to family even though how big they may be, how much they may earn, how big celebrities they may be in their career.

  • #613262
    Some people research from a source of some famous bachelors and given the list here. Are they reluctant to go for family or the circumstances made them bachelors we don't know? Mother Theresa is a nun as she thinks the whole world is her family and serve the people.In Telugu movie, there is a song 'Jagamantha kutubam nadhi yekaki jeevitham nadi' means the whole world is my family but I am alone in my life.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #613263
    #613252, Through all your discussions you are focusing family system has lost its credibility, completely deteriorated, in true sense no families existing in India or in near future individuals only exist, no relationships and no bonding between the members existing, individuals becoming selfish, they earn to enjoy themselves etc. Is it true in reality? But in above response of 10th point you are saying that through communication facility the relationship and bonding between the members of the family remains intact. Through Chitra's point of insurance done for the family members you are agreeing family relationships still existing. Many such examples I quoted throughout my debate how family relations and bonding between the members of family. So I am saying you are comparing the old traditional system of family with present day system of family. The GD is going on in relation to the present day system. By viewing some sporadic cases occurring in the society you are generalizing the family system is at the brink of extinction and only individuals existing in society. The present day system too every individual's priority is family only and that was elucidated through various examples and through my thorough debate of the GD.

  • #613265
    Many of the participants who have refuted the GD Topic believe that those who are with the topic feels that Family is not important. That's not what's been re-iterated, the topic itself says that Family is not ALWAYS important. There are circumstances or situation when circumstances outweigh the family and we cannot give due importance to the family. While Family is important, it is practical enough to say that Yes, Family is not always important.

    Also, we need to understand this fact that reality shows are never reality they are scripted on the emotions of viewers. They know how to direct the show, so you cannot conclude from a scripted show that Family is always important.

    People who are believers are ready to let go of their life for the faith that they believe in, here their faith is more important than the family. So, there are situations which demands you to give more importance than the family, in emotions we can make a high claim that Family is my topmost priority, do a reality check and I am sure many of you will agree that you have been lying.

  • #613272
    No one including people supporting or agreeing with the topic here denies the importance of the institution of family as many people against the motion has misinterpreted and wrongly conceived it as. The main point here is the family is not always most important emphasis here is on the "most" important.
    If we see the history we can find many instances where a great many minds stopped themselves from achieving great because of family pressure because they considered the idea of family being most important but once they understood that there are other things in life which are more important they achieved the greatness.
    for eg- Search of Gautam Buddha has never been completed if he would have sticked to the family considering it most important and we would not have got a great religion.
    So if we really analyze the life of human being we will find that the most important thing for us is our own searches, desires, and goals of life and all other things are derived from these things. We, humans, are more oriented towards our self-goals rather than goals of the whole family.
    Because we can only make others happy ( which includes our family as well) when we ourselves are happy, and no matter how much we say with words that family is most important to us we will never be able to make it most important because the most important thing is our happiness which further leads to other important things.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #613281
    Some people are talking about family pressures always a constraint for to achieve our goals and desires. I want to quote which is written by me which the quote consists a part of chemistry and I added some philosophical thought in it. "Man should always motivate by seeing a Graphite because a Graphite has only a tendency to convert into Diamond under tremendous Temperature and Pressure". So pressures are there in life for to overcome that we do not need to sacrifice the family. I agree there are quite some people who sacrifice the family and became great but there are many people who became great even without sacrificing the family.So the statistical hypothesis concluded is Family is not a hurdle to achieve great or your goals and desires.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #613288
    I agree with you that family does not act as a hurdle to achieve anything on this earth. But still family is not a priority in today's era. Those who are strong and can bring everyone together will achieve anything and everything and still keep family as their top most priority. Those who cannot multi task will choose one over the other.

    Topic of the GD is- family is not always the most important thing in life today. Stress is on "always". Most of the times, we give importance to family. But we need to think twice whether we have to say yes to "always" or no. If the term always is used then no matter what circumstances arrive, family stays the number one priority.

  • #613289
    Now it is time to conclude my discussion. I would like to request all participants to read the subject of the GD very carefully. The subject is :"Family is not always the most important thing in life today- Do you agree or not?'. I feel that some participants are ignoring the words ''not always''. Ignoring these particular words is creating confusion.

    However, I feel that creative people and people who are career-conscious do not give priority to family. That is not an universal phenomenon. Some people, not all, ignore the family. Some people don't want to raise their own family. This is being witnessed for a quite long period. Those who don't give priority to the family are career-conscious or work for the progress and development of humanity.

    In this connection, I would like to draw attention to the relationship of two extremely creative people. Jean-Paul Sarte and Simone De Beauvoir were well-known in pre-WWII and post WWII Paris. They loved each other but decided against marriage. They 'lived together' for years because they thought that mundane affairs of family would hamper their creativity.

    The same thing is witnessed even during the Vedic period. Gargi, the Vedic prophetess and daughter of sage Vachaknu, composed several hymns that questioned the origin of all existence. She was unmarried and remained busy in her spiritual pursuit.

    In my previous response, I indicated the names of twenty-five great men/women who remained bachelors/spinsters and worked for the society in different fields. Mr. Bhushan stated: "Some people research from a source of some famous bachelors and given the list here. Are they reluctant to go for family or the circumstances made them bachelors we don't know? ''. I would reply that they remained unmarried by their own choice. They didn't give priority to the family. For them, there was something which was more important. The quotes which I mentioned prove this.

    Ms. Joyshree said: ''Mr. Partha, let me clarify that nowhere in my argument have I mentioned that animals move or roam in families. They might or might not, that's not the point of this GD. If you hurt a sibling or child of a dog or a cat or a monkey or other animals, then they will come forward and protect their family in whichever way possible." I would respond that this is an example of clan feeling and those animals don't believe in family. Family and clan are different. This can be understood by observing the sexual behaviour of the animals living in a clan.

    So, summarising my response, I would say that for some people (not all), family is not a priority. These people consider their work, their creativity more important than the family. They are very few in numbers, but such people do exist in our society.

    Concluding my response, I wish all the participants of the GD very best.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #613291
    I never said in my argument that family is a hurdle or puts pressure but in many cases, it happens and had happened in the past also those where the example where people who were under obligation to consider family most important and it didn't result well for them because it was put inside their minds from the day they were born, though they later realised it's not the most important thing there is a wide area of opportunities out their to consider as most important.
    Same goes with many Indians also as it is put in their belief system from childhood that family is the most important thing so they are reluctant to listen even to their inner voices and questions anyone who has a different point of view.
    As one of the members Mr. Bhusan who disagreed with my points about family pressure accepted one of fact there is a pressure but then he made it positive by giving quote about graphite to convert into diamond by bearing pressure but my question is why a person needs to wait for so long when there is another path out there and choosing that path doesn't mean to abandon your family forever but just for the time being you achieve something.
    And previously as he gave an example of Mother Teresa considering the whole world as her family because her happiness was in serving people and making their life good and happy but for achieving that happiness she had to abandon her real family and country, wasn't her family important to her? No, her family was important to her but her goals and objectives were not limited just to her family so my argument that sometimes other things are most important to us than family gets correct in such scenario.
    And as Ms. Reena upadhyay commented about multitasking It's not about multitasking as because if we say most important than it is talking about only one thing being important and priority at that particular time so if it becomes a task of multitasking than it will be like giving equal importance to all the task together.
    At last, I want to conclude that family is important and always important to us we have been taught it from very beginning of our existence, it is the first institution we enter in builds up the whole road ahead for us by creating a base but still it is not always the most important thing in our life as our priorities and responsibilities keep shifting in various phases of our lives sometimes we need to be more responsible towards our nation, parents, children, and work we can't make family as the most important thing always because that will be impractical.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #613297
    Having revealed that family is not the utmost important today, and having stated the main reasons for that now let us see what are the effects of such a state of affairs.

    The absence of a family, dominant and supporting physically available at any time in the background and foreground, makes the individual fend for himself/herslf and that makes the ego more as the person feels self made. This leads to domination and many other similar dominant persons lead to conflicts and chaos also. A person who is free from the duties and benefits of a family always will be less flexible. That will lead to maladjustments in any other group or team. That is why today's recruiters always test for the tem-working capacity and flexibility of a candidate. There are orientation trainings also for that.

    The absence or rejection of a family tells more in psychological effects. Without the strong bindings of a family, individual, however high he climbs up, becomes like a kite which lost its thread. Many of the divorces, lifestyle diseases in early youth, unwelcome addictions – are all seen more in those who have no family. People in strained relationships lack the moderating influence of a family, and reach extreme desperate situations very soon.

  • #613298
    Is everything lost now? No ,not at all. Then what is the remedy?

    A total turn back or reversal is not possible. What is possible is a via media approach and taking the best from both worlds.

    Just as the commercial breaks and resuming, family members can have their individual breaks but should return soon to the family scene. Only when there are no other alternatives should children be sent to hostel. They should stay with parents or grandparents to the maximum extent possible. Employment or career may be pursued within the possibility of least disturbance to the family.
    As far as possible the family members should try to be staying as close as possible, so that they can be immediately available at any need. Modern communication gadgets should be used to be in 'contact and loop' to forget the physical absence. For common and even for individual's matters, the other family members also should be consulted and their expert and experienced inputs should be used. Assets should, as far as possible be no partitioned, but used as common sharing or as under trust and managed professionally.

    Above all these, the mind should be moulded to accept 'Vasudaiva kudumbam'- the whole world is family. So even when the lesser family slowly disappears a larger family will arise.

    Thanking my virtual family members, ISC members, I conclude my discussion in this GD.

    Thank you , all participants.

  • #613303
    I have been observing the responses for and against the preposition in the tread but I did not find the basic thing for which the family is. Why is the definition and meaning of family changing with time?

    Human being is a social creature. Family is a group of people in the society having one, two or more than two parents and their children. Each family member commit to each other to command a good position in society, economic status of the family is the main concern. Thus family becomes the structural and functional unit of the society. In a traditional society in India the family is often supposed to have been the primary economic unit. Hence to strengthen the economic status in agrarian society and to safeguard the interest of land and wealth, we find big joint families in traditional agrarian country sides. This role has gradually diminished in modern times as more and more avenues other than agriculture are being coming up for better economic status of an individual, the big family structure is losing ground and small families are coming up. In our country the family as an economic unit still plays a strong role in the countryside in trading community owing to the above mentioned reasons. However, the relations between the economic role of the family and the cultural values are highly complex in our society. Hence we give more importance to family.

    Traditional big families have their advantages and disadvantages. Similarly modern families have their advantages and disadvantages. I do not agree that many people achieved their goals after leaving family. I may count many achievers who achieved their goals owing to a strong backing of their families.

    In the light of new developments and changing employment pattern the preposition of this thread is valid. It sounds a little negative. Ultimately, anyhow everybody works for the betterment of his/her family.

  • #613310
    Here in the GD Some of the members they argued pro to the motion. Then in their discussions they have gone to an extent the family system in India is completely collapsed and individuals only remaining. They are bringing a point to fore that the topic is meant to discuss 'Family is always not the most important thing in life today'. They have created a scenario of their expression that families in true sense are not existing and only individuals representing families at present. If families are not there then how can they say they are not always most important thing.

    Most other members of above group arguing Family is always important and it may not be in some situations. So this group of members are saying Family is important and always important but in some situations or cases it may not be. As well mentioned above by Reena Upadhya (#613288) in the given statement for the debate the stress to be given is 'always' or 'not'. "The Family is always not the most important thing in life Today- agree or not?" If you agree, The family is not the most important thing in life today and not agree, Family is always most important thing in life today. One thing every one has to remember whatever priority one may give at one or the other time as in the case of career is the basic underlying purpose is for the welfare of family only. So without any doubt the prime priority of any individual is always family only.

  • #613313
    My knowledge on ancient civilizations goes beyond chapters from middle school social-study books. We aren't discussing ancient history here, yet I'd be pleased to share my knowledge with you.

    Civilization did not start with the family. Man realised that he could turn into a food grower and make his OWN life easier. He began domesticating animals and growing his own food. He had also acquired skills through his nomad life - and these skills made it easier to settle down. Family, as we know it now came along with civilization when man realised that he did not have to fight for rights over a woman. Before that, it was the survival of the fittest, the way it is with the males in the animal kingdom who fight each other to take over the females, in the group.

    Of course, there weren't any formal schools and it would be imprudent to expect them to exist in that time of history, but skills were taught and mastered. These were the lessons that were taught – this was all the education that was needed. Without skills, man could not have settled and built townships. He also had to be able to provide before he could 'own' a woman. Women, like females from the rest of the animal (mammals) and some bird species, chose their partners based on strength, because they wanted strong offspring. It is how nature works. Only the fittest survive. And men sharpened their skills to win over women. The lessons included hunting etc.

    Regarding discounts – businesses are concerned only about increasing their customer base. You might not have experienced it, but discounts are given to large groups, irrespective of whether they are family or not.

    You make it about money when you say that "…most of their earnings is send back to their family in India" and "…sacrifice everything they like just for the happiness of their family". What sacrifices and happiness were you referring to? I do not see it as a sacrifice – people go abroad for a better life and a heftier paycheque. The family back home stands to gain, because they get can have better food and avail medical facilities and better education and a better home. Every family member thinks of their own benefits. That doesn't make family important; it just shows how other family members take advantage of a single member.

    Agree, one doesn't have to be with the family 24/7, but does the family not see the sacrifices that you see? Should they not sacrifice too, and give up on some of the luxuries that they enjoy. People do not do so because it would adversely affect their lifestyle. One person sacrifices for his family – but what of all the others who enjoy at his expense?

    Providing an education is part of nurturing. Spending on education doesn't make the family the most important. It is expected. Just the way it is expected to wish someone on their birthday. Crying at airports – I see people crying while watching movies. It is just an emotion.

    Regarding the use of 'with' instead of 'for' – it was a slip. But, my question remains unanswered? Do you have data of the number of people living off people working abroad? I think such people only prove my point.

    Any mother would love her offspring. Do you realise that it is a genetically inherent trait, present in us, so the human race continues? Animals do it for the same reason.

    Why do you restrict your examples to only parents and children? Is that the definition of 'family'? What of all the other relationships that make a family? If we love only those whom we have given birth to, does that not make everything about us?

    We are most important because we choose whom to love. We do not love everyone in our family, indiscriminately. We love only those who are born to us or those who gave birth to us.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #613315
    #613265, We cannot simply take out reality shows as fake. The sudden facial expressions, reflexes of the individuals, body moments, feelings of the individuals in the situations together cannot be created through scripts. Many of those who eliminated in the earlier weeks were interviewed by many other TV Channels about their experiences in the Big Boss house. All of them without hesitation gave out what is really happening in the Big Boss house and every one freely told whatever things what they do in the house were projected on the TV but they never know what things that are happening in the outside world till they came out.

    #613298, In some of your responses you mentioned now a days parents are joining their children in hostels. But in ancient times also there are Gurukuls where Kings and Royals used to leave their children in Ashrams till they learn their whole education. Similarly in our parents, fore-parents times and even now as they were no proper educational institutions in villages, parents used to leave them in hostels for their better progress in education. As per the present trend in A.P. state, the number of students joining in hostels at school level is slowly decreasing. The reason for that is as most of the parents in present generation they have only one child. So parents are not willing to keep them in hostels as they loose their love and affection. Most of the parents who are residing in villages are shifting to Cities for the purpose of providing education to the children and also not to keep their children in hostels.

  • #613316
    1. Juana Mam, larger groups of people can avail discounts most of the times because they belong to a family. If we all keep to I, me and myself always, then you keep yourself away from not just "DISCOUNTS" but many other aspects of the society. For example, picnics. We go to different picnics with a family only. If we go to any social function with a family, our enjoyment becomes double or more.
    2. Continuing with benefits obtained by giving priority to a family, your family becomes more closer to you. If you are not closer to your family, then you have to take any decision maybe life-changing all by yourself. If you or any other member has heard of the "Blue Whale" game, then you would know that one wrong decision of playing the "Blue Whale" game has ended many teenagers life. The main cause of this problem is that those teenagers had detached themselves from their family. Had they considered family to be the most important thing in their life, they would discussed about this death game with their family first. If you don't consider your family to be important, you will be alone in taking important decisions. Psychologists agree that most of the people who commit violent crimes (to the point of even homicide) give less importance to their family.
    An example is a recent crime by a Bengali brilliant student, who got a chance to complete his research work in America. He killed his guide and his girlfriend due to over ambition.
    3. Stress is a big problem nowadays. Psychologists have said in various journals that the stress quotient in life is increasing as people are giving more priority to career than their families. Stress results in heart and high blood problems. These problems result in shorter longevity.
    4. People who give more importance to the family even today learn the art of selflessness. They learn to think for the family first and themselves last. People who give more priority to careers than their family often become very selfish persons.
    5. Family members give you unexpected solutions to your problems, due to their past experiences or sheer intelligence. So the more you pass time with your family, the lesser will be your life problems. The very reason that they are the closest people to you, you can discuss any problem, be it very intimate with them. Family members are your natural counselors. So they are and will be ever important in your life.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #613324
    I would like to conclude with the following facts:
    1. As my earlier arguments mentioned and has also been seconded by Mr. Ramakrishna that people give priority to their career only for the benefit of their family. If this is not true then for whom would earn money or fame for. With whom would you share your happiness and sadness with? Then the phrase will be applicable, which is, "Cursed is the man, who has no one to cry on his grave."
    2. No civilization can exist without family. People started forming families. A large group of families of similar culture made a civilization. Different civilization has different cultures and different rules and regulations. Families and needs and requirements of the families have created various social, cultural, economic, political scenario in the world. So family is the mother of a career and not vice versa.
    3. If we consider today's scenario, then in today's family situations, family members try to manage their conditions and keep a parity with the competitive external environment. So one learns to manage the external situations in the world respect to their family situations only. So it is a family that teaches you compromise, tolerance, adjustment and other important values to be in the society.
    4. Many of the authors have spoken that people are selfish, people don't love their family, people have become very competitive in today's world. But if that is the common practice but does that mean that it is the right thing to do? Practicing the wrong thing always doesn't make it right. The correct thing to do is loving and caring your family always, today, tomorrow and anytime in future. If you give more importance to your family you will get more respect, love and admiration not only from you own family bathroom the society as well.
    Thus giving importance to your family will never be unimportant. It is and will always be important as long as the world exists.

    Live life Kingsize!

  • #613326
    Last but not the Least the word family is used in even Schools, Colleges, and Offices. If a new employee joined in an office then the HR will give you a mail. Welcome to XYZ company family. If an employee was given birth then they will put a mail that one more member added to the family why I am saying this the importance and powerful word family which unites us irrespective of anything. So the GD 'Family is not always the most important thing in life today' I completely disagree with that. I am thankful to those who back up my points in the GD and who are against of it I wish them a good luck.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #613328
    I would like to conclude by saying that family is an important part of our social structure and in that respect it is important. The family gives us an identity, which is also why it is important. The family gives us a family tree, a history of our ancestry and builds bonds and relationships, so we hold it on a high pedestal. But, within the framework of every family are individuals, who have their own significance.

    We do everything for ourselves, to satisfy our egos and find fulfilment in what we do. When what we do gives us satisfaction and makes us happy, we are doing it for us. The most important thing in life today is what we want to do. Finding contentment in 'family' is something that we do for ourselves. Somewhere, it gives us pleasure. We look at the family for the benefits we can avail from the family-system. That shows we are looking for gain from what we perceive to be important. It is ourselves that we are securing - our needs, physical and emotional.

    A few debaters stressed on mother's love and parents providing education. Why do we have children? We do so to satisfy our own needs – so we feel complete and to take forward our genes. We provide for our children because that is an instinct. But, when we give them the best education, we generally do it to keep up with the Joneses. Don't we feel pride in where our children are studying or at what they have achieved?

    When we (children) move to distant lands to educate ourselves, we have only our own future in mind. We move away from the family to secure our lives. It is not because family is important – it is because we are important.

    Many parents are selective about the sex of their unborn child. Many decide what the child should study. The number of parents, who decide whom the child marries, is huge. The family stops being important when we begin to control every aspect pertaining to the other members of the family.

    And the definition of family changes so conveniently that we don't bat an eyelid changing our focus and our priorities. Most people these days, leave old relationships when they build new ones. Parents and siblings are forgotten in preference of the spouse and children. That happens because our priorities change. We make the switch easily and knowingly because it is what we want for ourselves. When 'me' and 'mine' is the motto, how can we say that something else other than what we want is important? We put ourselves before every relationship, which is why we choose and create an order of who is significant in our lives. If that weren't true, we'd not so easily give up old relationships for newer ones. We'd accommodate newer relationships and treat everyone within our family alike. We do not do so.

    The family is important as long as we get something in return. The benefits do not have to be monetary. But, we hold our families dear because we stand to gain.

    Let's not forget that most crimes happen within families. For greed, for gain - brothers killing brothers, children killing parents, parents killing children (in the womb) and outside. Families fighting over property. I can go on. Every one of us has an agenda and in that agenda, we are a priority. There are so many people who live in the hope that their children will give them a better life. It just shows that whatever they do for their children is in a way providing for and securing their own future. It is an investment they make - for themselves.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #613332
    I want to conclude my last point which is a very famous quote. If I say mine which it resembles an arrogance. If I say it is yours which it resembles showing a difference.If I say it is ours then the true nature of a man comes out like family is also such type of thing.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #613338
    Venkiteswaran Sir, Thank you.

    Just because you don't see it as a sacrifice does not mean it is not a sacrifice. People sacrifice their studies, their wishes etc for their family. People also have an option to not opt for having an offspring, in this century that will not be an issue at all. But still, people go for it. Many undergo various treatments and spend a lot of money to have a child so that they have a complete family. Here also family is important otherwise they could have just lived the way they want.

    To conclude, I still stick on to my point that family is the most important thing in life always. There might be exceptions but not many.

    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

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