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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    #Me too. The need to define the line for Sexual harrassment.

    The topic needs no explaination. The point I want to raise here where do we find the red line? Women are raising issues about sexual harrassment. The #me too camapaign is increasing the defenition of harrassment. Can we define sexual harrassment?
    1. Is giving friend request in facebook amounts to harrassment?
    2. Can a man talk to a female counterpart in his office / public space without any background introduction? I mean can a man start a conversation with a female in the same manner casually as he meets his male colleague?
    3. Must there be a difference in approach when a man is having serious official dispute over a matter and the oppponent is a female when compared to the same issue involving men?

    I completely state here that by no means any activity by men can be permitted against the wish of female even it be looking, talking and so on. I am completely against any exploitation in any manner.

    The point here what men must do before he comes to know a women is appoving his action or not.
  • #614120
    This is really important and strong subject to discuss and debate. Normally women are vulnerable to sexual abuse when they happen to move with the male dominated society. Since the ages women are portrayed and showcased next to men and that very much visible in every movie. Harassment of women. showing disrespect to women , abusing women are the great tutorial learned from the movies and stories. Some hooligans taking leads from such stories harass the women and thus women abusing and sexual assault starts.. So if we want to have protection and full respect to women, greater reforms on film making is essential and invariably we get influenced by the story and the characters played in the movies. Therefore it is the Censor Board which must take lead and tame producers and directors to produce clean films on women..
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #614126
    I am not sure how this campaign of #me too is going to help? My facebook page is flooded with this hashtag and many are coming up for this, I see many posts as well for this in social media.

    1. Is giving friend request in facebook amounts to harassment? : I don't think sending friend requests in Facebook amounts to harassment, but if you keep pestering that person to accept it irrespective of he/she doesn't want to, will amount to mental harassment. I believe this applies to both men and women.

    2. Can a man talk to a female counterpart in his office / public space without any background introduction? I mean can a man start a conversation with a female in the same manner casually as he meets his male colleague? : I think No, it may not go well with every woman, some may be taken aback by the sudden approach and they might feel insecure. Now, again it depends on how comfortable the female is with their male counterparts.

    3. Must there be a difference in approach when a man is having a serious official dispute over a matter and the opponent is a female when compared to the same issue involving men? No, I don't think there should be a difference in approach in official matters if the opponent involved is a woman, it should be taken in the legal way as it would be for men.

  • #614129
    Talking to a woman in the office, How it will be a harassment? When you are coming to an office there will be men and women working there. As per the requirement, men may be talking to women, and women may be talking to men. I don't think it will come under sexual harassment. It will be as required for the job. If a male candidate is targetting a particular lady and unnecessarily always disturbing her, that can be treated as harassment.
    Facebook friend request can be a normal request, I don't think it will be called as harassment.
    If the other female is not responding it shows that she is not interested and we should forget about friendship with her. We need not send her again and again
    Disputes with people are common phenomena and it has to be settled by the two parties involved and by the boss. This can't be treated as sexual harassment.
    In one factory there was a store in charge. The in charge is a male. There are three females working under him. These three ladies are tried and succeeded in getting him out. The store in charge is advising the ladies to work satisfactorily and he was mentioning them hear his words and do as he advised. This those ladies misinterpreted and gave a complaint under Nirbhay act. An enquiry was conducted, one lady has given the complaint and other two are witnesses. He was transferred from that post and one of the three ladies became the Head.

    always confident

  • #614138
    Sexual harassment exists right across the board in many service sector from the sweeper ladies of our cities ( recently we had a news report) to the biggest stars in the film industry ( we've read about it in the last couple of weeks). The issue is it's subtle and many times happens with the hierarchy taking advantage.Many a times women employees do not come out for the stigma/sensitive nature of the issue and the fear of losing their jobs. In many corporate establishments there are clear cut guidelines and protocols in place but in small business units, unregistered centers where women earn Rs.5000-10000 who's bothered about protocols or punishment.

    Things have to change. To define the line for sexual harassment, we don't need it in black and white. We need to see how skewed is one's moral compass, it tells a lot about the threshold for harassment to happen in his (sometimes her) hands.

  • #614180
    Sexual harassment can be both physical and in the mental scenario.
    Talking to a woman in the office, cannot be called as sexual harassment. But continuously taunting and following her, can make her feel a lot uncomfortable.
    Continuously disturing someone's thoughts by saying that girls are meant only for marriage and they have no goals. This type of discussions can also lead to mental sexual harrasment. There are many men I have seen in workplace, who keep taunting women of their behaviour and what they should do and they are meant for. Disturing a woman's values either in terms of her ambitions or career, or her personal life, is also a big form of sexual harassment. When a girl or a woman tells that she does not like such a behaviour and even then the fellow people keep saying those things to them, it impact their minds heavily and leads to depression.
    So, disrespecting the values and principles of a woman in a continuous manner by saying and pointing it to her, be it her personal or official life, can lead to sexual harrasment. Many men need to understand this.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #614245
    The point which need to be discussed is how a male must approach a female for the first time without any background neccessary. The point is the female is not interested / feels uncomfortable then the male must not even think of doing it again. But here I am refering to the very first approach when amale may not be knowing the intent of the female.

  • #614248
    First of all the male must avoid contacting any female or approach them for clarification or doubts all of a suden . And if at all a male wants to talk to a female under compulsion, then he may send the feelers of other female counterpart who is already familiar and comfortable with his behavior. Such sending of emissary would pave way for proper understanding and the new female may also feel comfortable to converse and give details as sought. Normally female wont talk with strangers and new starters. It is better to take help of a common friend so that a new friendship can begin with right earnest without scope for any miss understanding.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #614256
    The kind of society we are going to make is very important. Most of the responses here without gender bias advise a certain amount restraint to avoid harrassment. Men and women together make up society. Men has to interact with women in many ways outside family to have a meaningful understanding. Most response here suggest men must avoid contacting women just for the sake of introduction. But this is not warranted according to me. Men and women must interact freely to avoid misjudging. This helps in understanding each other better. This makes society to come out of unnecessary complex artificial seperation between sexes. I have known friends who study for 4 years together in college same class but not able to even identify a person from other sex. I have also known friends who are known to next 4 batches due to their popularity. When a girl is against any activity then it must forbidden as all cost. But mere introduction need not be taken so negatively.
    I have personally at office / college introduced myself to atleast to the people around me without any discrimination between sexes though they might not be working as such in my project. This helps in understanding each other better and also in commmunication. Suppose I have any problem as a continuation of my project in some other department it helps in directly contacting them and getting works done. Actually contacting through common friends creates unnecessary gossips and complicates the situation.
    But the #Me too campaign has introduced many common things we do in interaction also as sexual harrassment. I compltely agree that most of the things given in them are meant to be taken as sexual harrassment. But not every interaction between two unknown persons.
    We can see child hood friends mostly moving around without any feeling of uncomfortable though they may be of opposite sexes. This is because they know each other better and can move freely. This can happen between adults to. Society need not complicate everything as harrassment.
    This is why we need to define harrassment.

  • #614257
    The Domestic Violence (DV) Act, which was brought to empower women, is being misused rampantly. The misuse has become a rule rather than exception. As a result some corrective measures are being taken by the Courts.

    Similar is the #MeToo campaign. Many women engaged in consensual sex are complaining against male colleagues/ acquaintances when the relationship goes sour. Unless there is a properly defined definition of harassment, there is real possibility of misusing the Vishakha judgement and subsequent guidelines issued.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #614271
    Very interesting, thought provoking and aptly fitting in today's society - this thread is. I congratulate the author to bring it boldly and asking for the defining of limits and boundaries of these aggressions.

    If we go through the evolution of human species we find that once we were like animals and our brains were not developed so much and our behaviour was basically governed by our instincts rather than intellect. The question comes do we still hold those rudimentary instincts in us or we have completely got rid of those evils. The answer in my opinion is that we still have them in more or less quantities depending upon the intellectual and rational mind of a person.

    Now many females are afraid of our those residual instincts which come out naturally in conducive environment. Under such a situation who is to be blamed and who will be deciding those McMahon lines.

    It is also a matter of concern that some females are also taking advantage of this confusion and labelling a person as sexual assaulter simply because he was laughing and having wordly fun with him.

    Many males (including myself) on this earth can not claim with 100% authenticity that they have never done sexual harassment. If some women are exploiting this weakness of males then I do not see any solution to this problem presently.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #614276
    Insecurity of women in India is justified because of the present situations. But in a conservative country like India even the most harmless gestures or words might seem wrong to many. We need to change our outlook.
    We all know the "wrong touch". Verbal abuse should never be included under sexual abuse.
    We all know quite clearly what a harassment is. But the illiterate few don't. For them, even a friendly pat might seem like a predatory pounce.
    Sex education has helped our country a lot already. But the topic of sexual harrassment doesn't appear in education until graduation.
    I think we must introduce this sensitive topic to students in a young age.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #614324
    Agree with the replies above, we need to separate verbal from sexual harassment as the meaning implied varies a lot. The commonest verbal one is some loose talk or intended jokes out of the context can be judged as harassment if it happens often or repeatedly with the same individuals. Inappropriate language during communication - email, what's up SMS, letters can be grouped under a type of verbal harassment. Inappropriate invasion of personal space and inappropriate physical contact is something that is of a more serious nature that definitely needs a quick impartial probe and decisions.

    Men should be cautious in the workplace and should mistake the general laugh and friendly interaction with female colleagues as something different and take off on a different tangent. Whatever be the guidelines, if deep within you, you think it's wrong, then its most likely to be avoided.

  • #614375
    Thank you all for your valuable suggestions. I must admit thiaparticular topic is not only for discussion but also of personal understanding of recent discourse in the public domain. Initially I was sceptical of being misunderstood. But the replies have been mostly approval of this thread.

  • #614379
    #614129 – I have a few points to make regarding the anecdote that you shared, which is an indirect way of showing women in poor light.

    I do not know how you got details of the incident and the conniving and manipulative females who managed to get a man removed from his post. But, I want to point out how biased your opinion is. Going by the details that you have shared I think the man got what he deserved because remember an enquiry was conducted. If the females succeeded in getting the man thrown out then your post implies that the members of the board were inefficient, as they could not get to the bottom of things. They were incompetent and not fit for the job.

    However, I am sure the board must have taken a decision based on the facts that were presented – it is your bias that makes you support a man and mark the women as wrong, instead of being the ones who were wronged.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

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