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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Are you ok with approaching a counsellor when you have relationship troubles?

    When people approach the family court for divorce issues, they first ask the parties to consult a good counsellor. Some families are benefiting from the counselling but not all. In this case, the couples are meeting the counsellor as per the courts advice. But what I am thinking is, are we ready to seek the support of a counsellor by ourselves when we face a relationship trouble? I have watched a television program where in many of the people are not ready to meet a counsellor as they think they are perfect and needs no one's advice. Some even believe that only people with mental challenges meet a counsellor. Is this a good approach? I think it is high time we get rid of these approaches.

    If an experienced person like a counsellor can sort out the troubles in the relation, be it any type of relationship; shouldn't we take his/her help first? They might be able to correct our mistakes and way of thinking or misunderstandings and make life much better. Members, what do you feel?
  • #615412
    First of all the couples wont part just like that and there would be certain and definite reasons for their soar relations. Instead of approaching a counselor or a family mediator to make the personal issues public, it is better both the couples though have uneasy relations can open up and sort out the difference. If the divorce is unavoidable and if there are no children for them, then parting is the best way to have good days in rest of life. And if the couples have grown up children and yet they are in quarreling and parting mode, then they may approach a counselor or family lawyer so as to discuss the compensation for child maintenance.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #615443
    Once we tie a knot with a particular person, we should never think of divorcing him/ her. All should make it as a point. We may get difference of opinion with our parents, are we going to divorce them. It is inhuman. In the same our partner is a part of our body. Are we going to cut our body. Both the partners should develop this thinking. Then there will not be any thought of divorcing. The concept and thinking should be inducted into the minds of the people who want to get separated. This is want a counsellor will do, I think. It is always god to meet a mediator or counsellor to get educated and develop understanding with the partner. It is better to give all maximum attempts to stop the separation. We can't discard any idea which may help to keep both the parties together. So going to a counsellor is a good idea who might have seen many cases like this and definitely he may have a clue to keep them intact.
    always confident

  • #615454
    You can approach a counsellor not only if you have an issue with your spouse but be it a misunderstanding with your best buddy or a trouble in any sort of relationship, you can always take the support of a counsellor. I just mentioned divorce cases as when the couples approach the family court, they are advised to meet a counsellor. Why? Because a counsellor can find out the ego issue or whatever be the trouble and sort it out. It was just an example. Similarly, a counsellor support can be availed in any relationship. But my question is do we go to the counsellor to sort issues?
    "Do not give up, things might not favour you always"

  • #615459
    I feel that the Court-appointed marriage counselors are either not efficient or not interested to settle marital disputes. Most of the time, their negotiation or counselling does not have any positive impact on any of the parties. Why these counselors are not effective is not known to me.

    May be the counselors who practice independently, are more effective.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #615469
    Family counselors or relationship counselors are well established in western countries because couples do not hesitate to take professional help. The very fact that people take the step to meet the counselor means that they acknowledge the issues and want to give the marriage a chance. In today's world stress, nuclear families and careers play a key role is escalating divorce rates. So, instead of the family court telling us, we can do it ourselves first.
    In every relationship or marriage, there are bound to be troubled times but these should not become a regular feature, if the elders cannot bring peace, then taking professional help would be good as these people would be more knowledgeable with current issues and triggers for problems and ways to resolve them. The problem is also partly due to misconceptions and myths. As the author says, many in India feel alcohol de-addiction counselors and psychologist are in fact psychiatrist and in turn, they will be given medications and labeled as mentally imbalanced. If there are children caught in between, then all the more reason to try to save the marriage' I feel, the couple has no right to put the child through the misery of choosing one parent over other.

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