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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How do the cold wars between your parents affect you?

    We all have seen our parents fighting, there are normal fights or cold wars on home-related topics or any kind of issues. Most of the times, when they have a fight they would not talk to each other and keep telling the children to convey their messages.
    Sometimes the domestic fights are a kind of yelling which the children if grown-ups cannot bear it. Parents need to understand to not shout on things, but in any way it happens.
    A continuous type of cold war or arguments related to financial issues could affect the children in many ways. In some situations, they could also stop sharing many incidents with their family.

    They would restrict their thoughts to themselves or share with their friends only. The children will perceive an image of their parents as not at all happy couple.
    Parents keep on arguing and the children get slowly and steadily away from their parents in most of the cases.
  • #618732
    I feel that the miss understanding between the parents and child cannot be termed as war or cold war. Parents are not enemy of the child nor the child dislikes the parents. Well there can be difference of opinion on many matters and for that reason we cannot term cold war or something else between the two. By the way those who scold you has more concern about you. So if the parents take care of the children in every aspect, they have the right to guide them on right path which the children feel that they are being not allowed to take independent decision or their freedom of expression curtailed. So next time when your parents scold you or even slap you for some wrong thing, take it as their blessings for your good to future and mend your ways to the likes of the parents. This is what every elders would like give advise to the young ones.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #618734
    The Cold War among the parents is not good for the children. Actually parents should not argue in presence of children. This will have a lot of effect on the minds of children. If there is any difference of opinion between partners, they should discuss separately when the children are not there nearby. They should sort out their problems without the knowledge of children. The financial problems or any related matters should not be brought to the notice of children. The differences will have a lot of effect on the tender minds. That will give a negative thinking in their minds. Their ideas about marriage and family will be negative only. I know some instances where the children remain unmarried due to the problems they have seen between the parents. The habits and thoughts of children will be from their parents only. So parents should not give any indication of their difference of opinions to their children. I am one who believe in giving a good presentation about us and our matters to our children.
    always confident

  • #618794
    Home and family by far have the greatest influence on the growing minds of children. Children are quick learners and grasp facts, words and tone very quickly. They imitate their parents when they are outside playing or arguing with friends. As parents, we should be careful to avoid having fights our shouting competitions in front of children as they would follow the same as they feel whatever parents do is correct. Many children can understand the mood of the parents and are affected by these fights and argument among adults, this includes physical violence. If there is a constant quarreling at home, the children start losing respect for one parent or both and keep to themselves without sharing their joys or problems with us. Children also should not be given a picture that everything is rosy and joyous all year round. They need to know that arguments can happen at home and it can discussed in a constructive manner. This is what we as elders should convey to them.

  • #618797
    No disagreements. It is definitely harmful to young minds.
    In different ways. In psychological way where the children get oppressed and isolated .
    In financial way too because parents in fight with each other neglect the kid's needs.
    Physical abuse too. In order to save the helpless mother, the defenceless child steps into the battlefield and gets a good beating.

    All these different impacts will squeeze the calm out of the innocent child.
    But it cannot be helped. Arguments are invincible and inevitable. Only thing parents can do is hide their anguish.
    A truly unavoidable situation.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

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