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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    With age, do we get wiser or cranky?

    Having seen elders, relatives, grandparents and my own parents, I often wonder, whether what I learnt in school was only partly correct. Like many children, I also was taught that the older one is, the wiser he is. Is it really true?

    We tend to get a little rigid in our outlook, we cannot take criticism easily especially if it is related to our firm beliefs and principles, we become a little inflexible with respect to daily activities and needs. We tend to become dogmatic. The coffee has to be on the table, with the right strength, breakfast should be hot and served, not asked for. Anything done at home needs to be informed especially expenses, visitors should visit us first.

    It is as if as we get older, many seem to be wrapped in a time capsule of our own, portraying ourselves as more cranky or adamant than being more wiser.
  • #620227
    I think what is narrated in the thread is not of becoming wise or cranky.

    It is only following and practising the gradation as known and observed by us. While at younger ages it is only duty that is expected of us, when we age, we demand and expect rights. When we were energetic youth we did a lot of work which the old people at that time could not, due to less physical strength or due to their involving in multiple matters for the benefit of others including ourselves. Now hen we reach that age, we also expect the same privileges and service as a right. That is not of being wise or cranky at all.

    However due to sheer physical and mental vulnerability, the older we get the more adamant and unreasonable we become-just as child. From childhood to old age it is like a curve similar to inverted 'U'. From bottom it slowly rises and it peaks at youth, and then takes a slow slide on the other side. While the child exhibits many such because its faculties and strength are only slowly developing. On getting old the developed faculties and strength slowly taper down and the person may start exhibiting childish behaviour down the curve.

    While a child exhibits such behaviour it is enjoyed, but when an old person helplessly does similarly it is taken as if he is cranky.

  • #620239
    Elders always expect attention towards them just because they care much about everybody. Just imaging a house without elders. It goes from bad to worse. No time table maintained, no one to mend the ways of the children, and the children goes to verbal dual for even small matters. On the other hand if elders are there, they would pacify , convince and even cajole the agitated children and thus tranquilly assured in the home. I am sure those who have the elders at home they need not worry about character building of their children and they would be nurtured as the best citizen. If that is the benefit we get from the elders, what is wrong to serve them. They must be informed about our impending actions and also the word attempted and done. They feel elated as you are consulting them for every issue. A home without elders is the waste place.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #620241
    I think we become restless as we grow older. We lose our calm over silly things.
    We start expecting more and end up disappointed. Moreover as you grow, you start defining morals for yourself.
    When someone goes against you or talks against those morals, you tend to battle them because you've lived by them your whole life.
    It becomes harder to change our mindset as we grow older.
    We feel like a fossil from a lost age.
    This isolation from generation is what makes one cranky.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #620251
    With age, we get wiser because of our experience of various situations we faced. In the olden days, old people were confined to their home after retiring from active life. This inactivity may cause some sort of irritation. People who are bedridden in advanced age may become cranky because of health condition. They will be losing one physical faculty or other. They want attention which may not be possible all the time. These days are totally different. Even after retirement from regular job or vocation, people are engaged in other activities. They continue to do so as long as their health permits. The people are active in spite of advancing age.
    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #620263
    I also feel people will become wiser with age. This is because of the world they have seen, books they have read and the experience they acquired. Our understanding of various subjects will be much better as we grow bigger. As mentioned in #620251, these days people are having the energy to move around even after retirement. Hence they will get engaged in some activity or other. Nobody wants to sit idle as long as they can do something. Hence they are keeping active themselves and maintaining good health.
    But people who are not able to move and spending their time in the house only feel loneliness if nobody takes care of them, They will become helpless and hence may become cranky. It is wise to be active as long as you can. My father is 84 years. He is a Telugu Poet. Even at the age of 84, even today he manages all his work. and never ignores any small detail of about any works he has to perform.

    always confident

  • #620392
    Good replies, we all agree that we do get wise as we age.

    @Venkiteswaran Sir, I raised this because, many elders (mostly males) in our family circles are being considered as 'Cranky' or 'adamant' with an inflexible attitude, it is the elderly mother or aunt or brother who is brokering the peace at home for small issues.Instead of spending their twilight years in joy, these people are spending half the time in arguments and silence.

    @Mohan: definitely, it is agreed that we all respect our seniors at home and elders bring joy and peace at home with the junior members of the family are fighting or having an argument but often the small issues leads back to them.

    @Aditya: Good point, increasing isolation and irritability may be a reason that we tend to get cranky as we age.

    @ KVRR: good reminder that inactivity and health issues in the wise family elders can make them irritable.

    @Dr.Rao: Loneliness leading to a sense or feeling of helplessness can make them cranky.

  • #620467
    With age, people get wiser as per the occupation and also the experiences. But crankiness increases due to following the same pattern of behavior and if others do not listen to the elder people, the way we want the things to go. Since they are teaching the right things to the youngsters they expect a kind of obedience from us, so they get irritated and kind of cranky in their behavior. Elders speak from their experiences, we should listen to them, and understand their viewpoints.
    Do what inspires you !!

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