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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Role of Family in an Individual Decision

    Often we come across many attractive opportunities and miss them out because one or some of our family members don't allow us to move along with it.It sometimes makes us so disappointed that we don't really want to stay with them anymore as opportunities don't knock twice. Missing out them would be a missed opportunity forever in few cases and such kind of barriers from family makes us like a dump box. How do we deal with such situations and create a balance between what we want and what the family desires? Have you come across such suitations? How did you deal with it?
  • #624860
    Always there will be a gap between the thinking of a young person in the family and the elderly person. Both of them will have different outlooks. As an elderly person with his earlier experience and the ideas he hear from his friends a parent will have a different perception about the life. A young person who is just starting to understand the world, with his enthusiasm to grab the chances very fast, to settle in the life quickly and basing the advises given by his friends the outlook will be in a different way.
    So as an individual if I take a decision about my future and I am sure that by taking that path I will have a good future, the onus will be on me to convince the parent. After all in the world they are the well wishers to us really.
    In stead of ruling them out or leaving them alone, if we convince and insist that this is the best way automatically he will get convinced. So far in my life whatever decision I have taken , I have taken with the consent of my family members and whatever I felt best I was able to convince them and made them to agree for that. I am sure I have not lost any chance.

    always confident

  • #624863
    I think many of us faced this situation. As our thinking and way of looking into world differ from other family members, it is obvious that we have a difference of opinion among our family members. Even I have faced such situations in my school days but I balanced it by making alternative options and working towards it. I have strong family support which helped me in focusing my next goal. Although I was heartbroken for refraining me from an opportunity which I was interested and performing well, I am happy where I am now. This world is full of opportunities, all we need is to look for it and focus on it. Then we can work hard to shine in the career or profession we chose. I feel that, let people pursue in what they are interested or skilled. Be it a student or married person or a bachelor. Let them try, let them succeed. If they fail, they will learn a lesson about life.
    Thank You
    Dr. V. Shashikanth

  • #624940
    Whatever the outcome, deep within the hearts of family members, thought would always be that we prosper, be safe and do well in life. Sometimes, it is the fear of the unknown, will my son be safe, will be daughter be secure with us around her, what if something untoward happens, such thoughts weigh heavily in the hearts of parents, elder brothers, and sisters.

    I have seen this in my case as I had an opportunity to work abroad and it took six months to convince parents. Initially, at a young age, we want to explore the world, grasp all the opportunities, in our zeal, we misinterpret the intentions of caution of the family and their experience as hurdles to our growth.

    It just takes time and a few discussions to convince them. Once you are on the path to move and actually start off, they will be the first to be proud of you. My son is in England, This is a picture of my son at Newyork, soon. Very rarely, parents would try to hold one back adamantly, it would be a pressing health issue or a single child or a single parent who is growing old.

  • #625025
    I had also faced this problem many times in my life. These problems occur due to the generation gap between us and our family. No doubt, they also like us want us to live happy in our life. I wanted to go outside my town but my parents didn't allow, so I decided to do graduation from my town and master's from outside as I will have 3 years to get the permission of them. But we should plan and move properly to convince our parents.
    So try to handle this problem care and don't hurt your parents in convincing them.

  • #625086
    I think family have a great role in anyone's decision as family includes father, mother, brother, uncle and sisters and many more members those have a great experience to have a wonderful result. Even not with family, we have to discuss about a thing with at least one more person. As the decision of many minds are always better than one's mind. so we have to discuss every good or bad experience with our family. sometimes their decision collides with our's but we should discuss the problem. A family is your best friend a person can ever be.

  • #625123
    The head of the family or the father is the right person to take some great decisions for the family and that should be in the interest of all. Normally father and mother consult each other before taking any decision. Some times mother being house wife and not having any idea of the rules and the law, the father has been authorised to take decision in the best interest of the family. Loss or profit the decision would be final and every one endorses it. Because all works cannot be done by all and specific tasks are done by those who are authorised to do and has the authorised signatory to do.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #625131
    My opinion is that no one (parents) should decide what an adult child should do. Family members can offer advice along with the pros and cons, but the final decision of what to do must lie with the individual. I do not like the concept of forcing my opinion on an adult child.

    Parents and guardians are well-wishers, but that does not mean that all the decisions that they take are keeping our welfare in mind. Sometimes personal interests and or fears creep in and they make biased decisions.

    Parents must offer advice to their adult children and the latter must be open to their advice. However, the final decision of what to do must be taken by the adult child. They should not be coerced or be emotionally blackmailed into choosing a path of their parents' choosing. It is after all their life and they should be able to steer it the way they want to.

    Keep an open mind and listen to the reasons before making a final decision. Parents can sometimes be right, but in the end, follow your heart. You don't want to live a life full of regrets.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

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