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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Should we lift utensils ourselves at home after finishing meals to put the same near sink?

    It is not about traditional Indian etiquette but the modern day practice. Gone are the days when women used to take care of all aspects of home management including cooking and serving meals. The men, on the other hand used to play the role of house lord expecting women to do everything.

    In common households, after finishing meals, the utensils are required to be removed from the dining table/area either by the lady of the house or by the individuals themselves and put the same near the sink or utensil cleaning area.

    What is the good practice in this regard? Should we remove utensils ourselves or leave it as it is for further action by somebody else?
  • #630235
    It might seem unusual but yes it seems to be a relevant question of interest to women....The author is bringing up the point where women of the house pick up the plates after members of the house finishing the meal.From my childhood I have seen this in my own house and at relatives too. Girls are often made to follow it from their ages of learning living....where a girl is supposed to learn and help in various household activities she is also made to get engaged in this activity of picking up plates. We have now brought many changes to our society Today's society talks about liberal thoughts and equal respect to all genders.We often see waiters picking up plates at restaurants.So if it is job they will but what if at home or other places...We see self servicing observed at many parties.These changes have been adopted because it contributed to the progress and respect of each other .It is definitely a valued thought of picking up our own plates if possible .It will also show a man's gratitude towards a woman and make her feel respected .There is no harm in teaching girls to pick up other's plates in particular when guests come but even boys of the house should be taught so....

  • #630243
    Those houses where full-time servants are there it is immaterial whether we take our plate to the sink after completing food or not.

    On the other hand in the middle-class households where most of the chorus is done by the women, it matters a lot. Even a small help counts.

    It is a good habit to keep the utensils back in the kitchen as well as to clean the dining table and remove the stains.

    No work is menial. We must have the dignity of work and should not hesitate to extend help in the household chores. In fact, that makes us self-dependent and confident.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #630246
    This thread reminds me of the notice I saw in England a few years back. At the staff mess, cutlery, porcelain plates etc would be left lying around the housekeeping staff had put a polite notice in the common dining room. 'Please clean up your mess, your mother doesn't work here'.

    Let alone expecting the women folk to clean up the plates, in some houses by default or by lack of choice, the mother will be eating the food last after quickly tiding the table. Things are changed now. It is good practice to at least clean up our plates and bowls, there's no question of ego or inferiority in doing so.

    We should encourage this practice in children at an early age because this would help them learning good mannerisms when they visit relatives, friends or even go abroad. If the household is well to do with servants, then the practice would be different.

  • #630249
    Eventhough appearing as a relic and retrograde, there are still very very few eating places where the client himself has to carry the leaf plate and dispose it in the waste bin.
    Of course all such eateries use banana or other leaves as plates.

    Now, regarding the status and situation in our homes:-
    Personally,at our home, we children were taught to clean our own food plates and keep it back in the place earmarked for it. In our childhood we were using porcelain coated China plates. Later on came the metallic plates- first Aluminium and then steel. Each of us siblings have our own separate plate as in hostel. Being brought up in that way we never felt it abnormal or odd to clean our own food plates. Even after marriage I do so, but many times my wife prevents me and does it herself.

    Usually we do not allow our guests to lift or clean the food plates they ate on. There was no issue earlier, as only leaves were used as food plates and it was easy and hygienic to remove them and dispose. It is only after we started using metallic or porcelain plates which are put to reuse after cleaning ,that the issue cropped..

    If anyone sees some tradition or belief to justify one should not take and carry own food plates, I can say, to circumvent that problem one can get up, wash hands and then come back and take the plates for cleaning.

  • #630259
    In our house before eating the plates are washed and kept for serving by the members concerned and after eating the plates are duly washed and kept at the respective places by the concerned. This will reduce the additional burden for the house holds. In our house we do not employ maids for washing clothes and utensils at it is against our tradition. My wife and daughter would attend that chores daily. And washing utensils in regular intervals is the best way of keeping the sink in clean way. Normally in some homes, I have seen that the kitchen sink would be full of utensils waiting for the maid to come. That habit would bring more germs to the kitchen.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #630264
    It is always good to teach our children to remove the plates after lunch or dinner and place them in the sink or at a place where their mother wants them to keep them for cleaning. This is what most of the children are doing these days. Since we are mostly having dining and drawing rooms combined, it is better to keep the area clean as it will be used to sit and watch TV.
    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #630283
    In my opinion, we should lift the utensils ourselves at home after finishing the meal. It is a good manner. In our home, we eat in thal where 7-8 people eat together and we all help in arranging thal. Even small children at home are forced to help in arranging thal.
    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #630306
    In our houses, we all accustomed to seeing that the women will serve and we eat. The women will wash and we will wear. But slowly there is a change in the trend. The men also started participating in household works. In our house generally, lunch will be only for ladies as all the gents will be going to the office with their lunch box. So the lifting and keeping the plates near the sink question will not arise for lunch. In the nights generally, we all will eat together and all the items will be kept in the middle and whatever we want we will take. Once the eating is over my two sons and the three ladies will share the work. Someone will remove the plates, someone will clean the table and one will keep all the utensils on the table back to kitchen or washing area as the case may be. Even though I try to do something other members will never allow me to do any work there. Those five will complete all the works and then we sit together for some time.
    always confident

  • #630707
    I think, it has got something to do with the woman empowerment. In western countries where most of woman work, share their household work with their husband. There is a common practice to clean dishes also by husbands.
    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #630708
    This is a common practice even today. In fact, even in our house, it is the same. If we have our food watching tv then plates will be in our hand and we will only take it to sink. But when there are guests, we sit at dining table and woman is expected to remove the dishes and everything. And it has been fixed every indian's mind that such work needs to be done by women and bringing in the change needs more and more time.

  • #630739
    In our house since decades we wash our plates after every meals. I use to follow this practice even in visiting houses though they ask me to keep the plate. The same practice I trained in our house children also.
    The practice of my mother as well as my wife is cleaning the vessels after cooking over then and there without accumulating . When we keep servant maid to clean the vessels also,my wife keep all the vessels in the cleaning place not in the sink by pouring enough water on them in order they are not getting dry and it is wrong to criticize the cleaning person for imperfect.

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