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(This thread is the winner of the TOW contest for for the week 8th - 14th April'18)
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Child’s dilemma in speaking truth

    When our child is small we want to cultivate all the good moral values in him or her. One of them is to always speak the truth. But we all know in the practical life always speaking truth approach sometimes doesn't work and there are situations where we take the support of lies in making things easy for us. Sometimes we also have to hide the truth out of good intention so that our near and dear ones do not feel hurt or get shocked or depressed when there is some bad news.

    But there are some casual lies also which we speak like "My husband is not at home", "I was not able to reach your mobile", " I am not well today, so not able to come to office", "Tell your teacher that you were not well if she asks about your absence from school" etc. When the child is innocent it is OK but when they grow up they start understanding these things. They get puzzled as to how come their parents who preach them to speak the truth are themselves telling lies. So a child picks up negative message from their parents and may cultivate a habit of telling lies. They are in a dilemma whether to speak the truth or a lie?

    So as per me practically there are "Good lies" and "Bad lies". Good lies are spoken out of honest and good intentions and to avoid difficulty while Bad lies are just spoken for anything without any reason. So as a child grows up as a part of parenting we should not be too idealistic in telling them to follow truth irrespective of circumstances because we know we ourselves are not doing it. Instead, we should explain to them that a lie told for the sake of good sometimes is better than the truth but otherwise, telling lies is bad. A child needs to develop this understanding.

    Let us not be hypocrites and preach our child what we do not always practice.
  • #633542
    When Yudhistira uttered - ' Ashwathama hatha, iti Narova Kunjarova', technically he didn't lied but that led to beheading of Drona, a Brahmin and the Guru of Pandavas. Brahman-hatya was considered a sin which had no penance.

    Leaving aside the philosophy part, perhaps it is not possible to live nowadays
    without lying. I don't think Raja Harishchandra will be able to survive even for a day in the contemporary world.

    Modern children are intelligent. They soon learn to differentiate or discern the fine dividing line between the innocuous and actual lies. But the parents may have to pay the price one day by being at the receiving end of the children's innocuous lies.

    What will happen when they will tell lies about smoking, drinking or watching indecent contents on the smartphone and about splurging money on their girlfriend in the college?

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #633557
    Nice thread about lies. I've heard of the term 'white lies' a small lie to tell someone so that they happy. If the food is average, we tell the host, it's very good, similar things are white lies.

    I agree that we should preach what we practice and teach our children about good and bad lies. The problem would be what's good for you would be bad for me. In practical life, many lies are told to us by our parents, as we grow up we find out the truth like bogeyman, God will pierce our eyes if we tell a lie, tooth fairy etc, but will still tell the same to our children.

    Once children are of an age to understand truth vs lies and the implications, I think it would be more meaningful, if we sit down with them and informal tell them/educate them.

  • #633562
    As far as possible children should be taught to speak truth and they should not have any idea about the lies. A child is the close observer of adults and she is the very close follower of the mother and father. When both mother and father quarrel with each other uttering lies, the child would feel bad and try to ponder over the subject of telling lies and get going. Once this habit sets in, the child also starts telling lies and that habit once started cannot be stopped. Parents must avoid the child coming in contact with all those who are habitual lairs and thus child can be taught with different lessons on life.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #633650
    As long as we are not doing harm to anybody and we are honest with ourselves sometimes telling lies may not be a bad habit. If we tell that we are sick our parents start worrying and they will take some much care of us. Sometimes, even though we have a small problem telling that we are OK with parens is not a sin. By telling small lies we can avoid our parent's worry. As the children grow up they will understand this fact. So we should not hesitate to tell our children not to talk lies. If we don't warn them they will become mischevious.
    Grabbing bad is easy. Imbibing good is difficult. As a routine, we should teach all the ethics to our children. As they grow they will understand the good and they will practice the same. They will be understanding overtime where to tell lies and where not.

    always confident

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