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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Is self-importance harming our marriages?

    Often, we read about divorces in papers and in family circles. Even in ask experts in ISC, we get questions request help or guidance for divorce.

    It's a worrying trend, are we been too liberal in bring up our children who sadly mis-interpret and give self-freedom the topmost priority. Is it compulsion or an attempt to break away from traditions that are resulting in broken marriages. At times, I think the harsh reality of the difficulties to earn enough for a comfortable life leads to rifts.

    Or, is it just a transient phase wherein the newer generation couples are correct in their own arguments as we have to accept the increasing divorce rates as a fact, where are we going wrong?
  • #633704
    A very relevant thread and yes, what the author has said is true. In upper-class and middle-class families of India, we have started giving more than necessary stress on self-independence. We have started forgetting that in a relationship, you have to sacrifice something to get something. I think in another 20 years or so, this realization will also come in educated people.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #633707
    A major change in the society these days compared to the past, is increasing trend in women becoming financially self-dependent after receiving higher education.

    It is not that in the past all couples were leading harmonious life. The situation was much alarming. Many women were leading miserable life but had no place to go as they were not financially independent. Many of such women used to be neglected by their earning husbands and few of them used to be left at their parent's place for ever without legal divorce.

    Nowadays, women are not living at the mercy of their husband. They are ready to cooperate and make sacrifices also in the overall interest of the family but at the same time they are capable enough to tell their tyrranical husbands that enough is enough.

    One of the major grounds of divorce is extra-marital relationships. In the past women were not in a position to fight back on this count with their husbands and used to accept the other women as their fate. It is not so nowadays.

    Let us encourage each other in sharing knowledge.

  • #633709
    Self-importance is important but it should not stretch beyond a certain limit. When we want something we should sacrifice something else. In this life, the importance of the life partner will be understood as the people attain a certain age. In this world when we are in the family which is like a bullock cart, to have a smooth running oh the cart, both the Bullock should go with an understanding. Both are equally important. In the same fashion for a family wife and husband are very im[portant. A good understanding of sees that the family will run smooth. Here there is no question that one is important and the other is not important. This concept should be developed by both the parties involved. Give respect and take respect policy is the best. Otherwise definitely these days the families will get ruined and the divorces will become more. The best thinking is I am important, he / She is also important and both of is are important. This concept will save the system go smooth.
    always confident

  • #633732
    Yes the increasing tilt towards self reliant and having financial independence are the main attitudes which pose and be the cause to seek divorce. And what is surprising is the fact that the husband and wife after having children and lived with harmony for considerable time seek for divorce which has become a laughing stock even at the courts. I bet the courts will also advise the couples to get adjusted and live peacefully instead of seeking divorce. Moreover the ego problems also sets in as to why should one come forward for a compromise formula when they can lead the life independently ?
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #633734
    The perceptions of the young generation in the society changes from time to time and history is witness to this phenomenon. With materialistic approach in life the modern society is reeling under the false notion of privacy and independent life.

    The western world has already engulfed with this and we are also following the suit.

    Basically, it is our in capability to adjust and accommodate with each other which is creating this rift. Lack of patience, high financial aspirations and blind race for materialistic pleasures is adding fuel to fire.

    Knowledge is power.

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